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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 3, 2021 5:56:23 GMT -5
Incidently, a couple of years back I polled the ILIASM membership asking "where did you meet your spouse ?" Here's what came up - (there were 34 responders) Met on internet - 10 (29%)Met at school/college/uni - 9 (26%)
Met at social group - 4 (12%)
Met at work - 4 (12%) Met at a bar - 3 (8%)
Met at a party - 2 (6%)
Met via want adds in paper - 2 (6%)
Met by speed dating - 1 (3%) Met by mutual friend - 1 (3%)
Make of it what you will, but it would seem that you can pick up a dud anywhere, not just the net.
community.babycenter.com/post/a55313104/how_did_you_meet_your_spouse_poll407 responders We were childhood friends or high school sweethearts 95 (23%)
We were introduced by friends/family 91 (22%)
We met online 91 (22%)We randomly met one day (college, bar, other random place) 86 (21%)
Other 44 (11%) I grouped similar categories by color. This grouping is subject to interpretation, so you may see different results. For example, childhood friends likely met at school, but not necessarily. The " Met at Work" Category doesn't strike me as a " Random Place", but might qualify? College is a work place, so randomly meeting there may not be accurate either. So comparing apples to oranges, as I must:
Someone you met online (or, in paper form, Want Ads) are both methods of meeting strangers with a brief description. They are 59% more likely to lead to a SM. [i.e. 35% SM vs. 22% not SM] Someone you met randomly (social group, party, college, bar, other random place) is 24% more likely to be your refuser. Someone you met while you were young is 13% more likely to land you in an SM. and on the chin rubbing, thoughtful end of things (bearing in mind the dangers of n=1 sample size): Someone you met through a friend or family is 86% LESS likely to land you in an SM. I don't see that I answered the question. Mrs. MirrorOrchid was a friend of a woman who was already seeing someone who I met at a bar where I was meeting friends I socialized with online. Before I married her, I asked my family after two failed long term relationships, "I'm a bad judge of life partners, clearly. Is she a winner?" They were unanimous in their approval. I feel it's fair to claim the friend/family category applies, so it's feasible to say that meeting a spouse through friends and family is only 73% less likely to lead to SM. However, the wife and I have had a reset since Dec 2019, so, it may be easier to escape an SM with a spouse your family/friends liked? (at least temporarily? neither of us is dead yet.) Even if the MirrorOrchid recovery is inevitably doomed, 73% lower likelihood is a stunning endorsement of trusting the people who know/love you with your sex life than yourself. |
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Post by jim44444 on Sept 3, 2021 11:53:54 GMT -5
[quote timestamp="1630644631" author=" baza" ... Even if the MirrorOrchid recovery is inevitably doomed, 73% lower likelihood is a stunning endorsement of trusting the people who know/love you with your sex life than yourself. Are you making the argument for arranged marriage? 😂 |
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Post by mirrororchid on Sept 6, 2021 5:35:33 GMT -5
[quote timestamp="1630644631" author=" baza " ... Even if the MirrorOrchid recovery is inevitably doomed, 73% lower likelihood is a stunning endorsement of trusting the people who know/love you with your sex life than yourself. Are you making the argument for arranged marriage? 😂 That thought had occurred, actually. They may be on to something. Then again, an article about sexless arranged marriages suggests the tradition-heavy arranged marriage is often accompanied by denial of female sexual desire. It's possible the friends/family category has a much worse record in such places. Intact marriages, sure, but silently sexless. Then again, such traditional environments tend to be patriarchal where refusal of the husband is tolerated at a lower level. Not sexless, but dehumanizing and/or abusive. Tough to suss out the numbers because the entire topic is similarly taboo in both cultures of marriage-for-love and marriage-for-practicality. |
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Post by jim44444 on Dec 30, 2021 20:38:43 GMT -5
I got a notification about this thread today. It amuses me to see how a thread can evolve (or is it devolve) from ghosting to "how did you meet" categories.
Just for kicks I will supply my meeting tale. My then girlfriend back in high school introduced me to her friend. One week later I broke up with said GF and 2 weeks after that is was on a date with her friend. Now 54 years later I am sitting here watching her sew a blanket for our grandson. All in all I am glad I decided to upgrade to the prettier and smarter model GF.
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Post by Apocrypha on Jan 5, 2022 0:04:15 GMT -5
Then again, an article about sexless arranged marriages suggests the tradition-heavy arranged marriage is often accompanied by denial of female sexual desire. That's one attribute that's likely present in many of them. Causal though? A different view might be to consider a time in Western cultures when non-arranged marriages tended to stick longer. I'm in my early 50's, so I'm thinking of my parents' age - Boomers and The Greatest Generation - which isn't that long ago. Also Old World European cultures - Greeks and Romans - very passionate cultures. Consider the changing "reasons" to get married, and expectations of marriage. People in those generations and cultures generally got married in service of a household enterprise. They were building a family and a household and had roles to play as part of that service. It's a relatively recent shift to look to marriage as being a source of personal fulfilment. |
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