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Post by sojourner on May 4, 2016 9:17:16 GMT -5
sojourner here, formally known as sojourner999 in EP.
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Post by eternaloptimism on May 4, 2016 13:42:26 GMT -5
Well hello you lot  thanks for your likes and comments, it's nice to feel welcomed! I am sneaking 5 minutes on here from the refuge of my bath and have gone through all the human emotions reading some of the stories here. I feel you all ✌ Hope to find a chunk of time to respond to stories soon xx |
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Post by theghostofwinterfell on May 9, 2016 16:08:38 GMT -5
I'm in deep with14 years of marriage, not all of them sexless. 3 to 4 years of true bliss-weekly or bi-weekly sex- gradually dwindling to monthly, then bimonthly... now we are at maybe once a year of very half-hearted sex that my wife is willing to put up with--- although at our current point, she has told me she is not interested in sex at all, and doesn't quite understand why I even want sex at all. She is truly kind and caring, except when it comes to affection- no kindness or caring in that department, just a general "give me my space and leave me be, and we'll get along JUST FINE" attitude. It definitely eats me up, and most of the time I blame myself--- "of course! I'm ugly, moody, and an introvert, so why would anyone would to have sex with THAT???" But I know the answer... SHE did. At one time. I think about an exit strategy all the time, but kids, mortgage and having a joint-everything makes splitting seem like a far-away fantasy. Then again, sex is a far-away fantasy at this point, so whats the difference???
I oftentimes fantasize (not in a good way) that I will catch her cheating---THEN I could have a clean get-away with no repercussions. But, she is not a cheater. Or even a bad person really- which is what makes this all the harder. OF COURSE she always tells me she loves me and calls me "baby" or "babe"--- and it really is more of a kick in the nuts each time. I have been trying for the last 5 months to live in the moment, and take her happiness where I can get it. And to not brood or dwell (too much) on my unhappiness and depression. But the act has worn very thin, and my depression is manifesting itself all over the place. I see no reason to be mean, or ugly, or belligerent towards her, but god knows I want to scream, or cry, or stay asleep each and every day. |
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2016 16:44:00 GMT -5
I'm in deep with14 years of marriage, not all of them sexless...... but god knows I want to scream, or cry, or stay asleep each and every day. Welcome to our group and sorry you needed to find us. You might want to repost this in the "Sexless Marriage Issues" board (just click "Forum" and you'll see the list of boards). You'll be likely to get more responses since not everyone checks the "Welcome" board regularly, and I'm suspecting you could use the support. Again, welcome. |
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Post by theghostofwinterfell on May 9, 2016 18:03:52 GMT -5
Thanks... obviously a first timer here!
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Post by petrushka on May 9, 2016 21:59:48 GMT -5
Thanks... obviously a first timer here! Standard reply from Experienceproject, where most of us started out: Welcome to the group that nobody wants to be a member of. (or, to use my local argot: "G'day mate!" If you repost your intro, we may be able to have a more fruitful exchange than in the introduction topic  |
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2016 22:05:28 GMT -5
Thanks... obviously a first timer here! Welcome and jump right in. I was a lurker on EP, so I can definitely relate to being the new kid in town. Lots of people who can relate, are supportive and fun. |
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lovespirit
New Member
Living with someone and being so alone is the worst...
Posts: 15 
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by lovespirit on May 10, 2016 4:40:52 GMT -5
I'm so glad to be in a place where others understand. I have been reading the posts for some time now, and I guess it's time for a formal introduction. I was brokenlovespirit on EP...I mostly lurked and read a lot. I feel I connected with others through their stories, and it made me feel less alone.
I have a very long story, but to sum it up we have been married 13 years, and sexless nearly the whole time. The first year we were together we had a fairly satisfying sex life, and when our son was born, he no longer had any interest in me. I will repost and add more to my story in the regular forum. I'm happy to meet you all!
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2016 9:07:09 GMT -5
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Post by skguy on May 11, 2016 12:16:16 GMT -5
Hi everyone,
Married for 16 years or so. No real intimacy for the last 8+ years. We had some really good sex at different times, but nothing now.
Maybe started with birth of son, but probably deeper issues than that.
Even getting to first base would something to celebrate.
I imagine I'll will just stick it out for the long run, even though I know that's probably not the healthiest of solutions.
Other than this board, I've only told two woman friends about my plight. They've had lots of good suggestions, but I'm currently not expecting much to happen anytime soon.
Anyhow, thought I would give this board a try. I've read a few great posts from some obviously great people.
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lovespirit
New Member
Living with someone and being so alone is the worst...
Posts: 15
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by lovespirit on May 11, 2016 15:16:36 GMT -5
Welcome skguy! So sorry you have to be here, but glad that you joined us |
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2016 16:11:48 GMT -5
I'm Elle. I've been IASM for 15+ years now. Started out every 3-4 weeks, then dwindled progressively to months between encounters. Presently, it's been 8 and I think I have now lost all desire for him. He's a drinker, but quite functional and pays the bills nicely. He is a good-enough father and I am staying until I can get my act together and get out - ETO = 2 years. I'm tired though, defeated and depressed. I deserve better and I am starting to realize that, little by little. Why can't I just be with someone who doesn't have an addiction, has some emotional intelligence, enjoys conversation and wants sex at least once a week. Is that so hard to find?? I'm not asking for the moon here.
skguy, that's a sad story. You are a good man for staying in spite. I won't give trite advice because I don't have any. Good luck. I think we shouldn't sell ourselves short though. Life's too precious. In my case, I need to be mindful that my situation doesn't cause health problems, which stress is known to do. Tough situation. No easy answers.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2016 17:12:58 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2016 18:41:30 GMT -5
Welcome skguy and @elle ! Thank you Z! |
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Post by skguy on May 11, 2016 19:30:40 GMT -5
Thank you lovespirit and Z. It's nice to feel welcomed :-)
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thanks for your likes and comments, it's nice to feel welcomed!
