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Post by skguy on May 11, 2016 19:50:19 GMT -5
Hi Elle, I join you in the 8+ club. Not a club I want to be in, but there you go.
I don't know you, but I know you deserve better. Nobody needs to live like that. I'm sure you're an awesome person, and sometime when you get out, you'll find someone so much better.
I know that staying the course is not the best choice. I'm still trying to come to grips with my current reality. I reconnected with a schoolmate from long ago, and her advice is a lot like yours.
You're right about the possible health problems it could cause or will eventually cause.
Your post really sort of hit me hard. You really summed up your situation and I feel for you. Now I just want better for you.
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Post by SweepyBear on May 11, 2016 19:56:07 GMT -5
Welcome Newbies from another relative Newbie here, you'll find they don't bite here, a minor nibble is all that befalls the unwary  |
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2016 9:45:43 GMT -5
Hi Elle, I join you in the 8+ club. Not a club I want to be in, but there you go. I don't know you, but I know you deserve better. Nobody needs to live like that. I'm sure you're an awesome person, and sometime when you get out, you'll find someone so much better. I know that staying the course is not the best choice. I'm still trying to come to grips with my current reality. I reconnected with a schoolmate from long ago, and her advice is a lot like yours. You're right about the possible health problems it could cause or will eventually cause. Your post really sort of hit me hard. You really summed up your situation and I feel for you. Now I just want better for you. Aww, thanks skguy . Yep, this club membership sucks, doesn't it? We both deserve better. I can't wrap my head around a husband who actually wants more from his wife, because mine just basically keeps me at arm's length at all times. It makes me  . I'm a nice person. I'm cute. People like me. Well, people outside my marriage that is. I too struggle with 'to stay or to go?'. I have a plan in place but getting to that end point of actually leaving. I am not sure. On a good day, it's 'hell yeah i'm leaving,' on a powerless day, I feel sorry for my refuser and I am true to my vows - till death do us part. But, then there's my health. And I've already had some small issues which i know are related to the years of stress. Stress really does make people ill. And it can literally kill you too. I think the truth is we both, you and I, need to hit bottom. Maybe we aren't there yet. I'm not impulsive when it comes to things like this so I will stay until all signs point to "get out now!" One day, with my husband's pattern of drinking, anger, and fighting unfairly, he will do something and I will just completely snap. And then, it'll be over. Just like that. I'm waiting for that day with much anticipation. I wish you luck on your journey. You'll know what the next right thing is if you listen carefully inside. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on May 12, 2016 11:44:55 GMT -5
Hi Elle, I join you in the 8+ club. Not a club I want to be in, but there you go. I don't know you, but I know you deserve better. Nobody needs to live like that. I'm sure you're an awesome person, and sometime when you get out, you'll find someone so much better. I know that staying the course is not the best choice. I'm still trying to come to grips with my current reality. I reconnected with a schoolmate from long ago, and her advice is a lot like yours. You're right about the possible health problems it could cause or will eventually cause. Your post really sort of hit me hard. You really summed up your situation and I feel for you. Now I just want better for you. Aww, thanks skguy . Yep, this club membership sucks, doesn't it? We both deserve better. I can't wrap my head around a husband who actually wants more from his wife, because mine just basically keeps me at arm's length at all times. It makes me . I'm a nice person. I'm cute. People like me. Well, people outside my marriage that is. I too struggle with 'to stay or to go?'. I have a plan in place but getting to that end point of actually leaving. I am not sure. On a good day, it's 'hell yeah i'm leaving,' on a powerless day, I feel sorry for my refuser and I am true to my vows - till death do us part. But, then there's my health. And I've already had some small issues which i know are related to the years of stress. Stress really does make people ill. And it can literally kill you too. I think the truth is we both, you and I, need to hit bottom. Maybe we aren't there yet. I'm not impulsive when it comes to things like this so I will stay until all signs point to "get out now!" One day, with my husband's pattern of drinking, anger, and fighting unfairly, he will do something and I will just completely snap. And then, it'll be over. Just like that. I'm waiting for that day with much anticipation. I wish you luck on your journey. You'll know what the next right thing is if you listen carefully inside. Hi Elle.... Sorry you're here but nice to virtually meet you  I'm new too. What you just said about waiting to snap... I hear you. That's me too! One day......... Xx |
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Post by eternaloptimism on May 12, 2016 11:47:40 GMT -5
Hi everyone, Married for 16 years or so. No real intimacy for the last 8+ years. We had some really good sex at different times, but nothing now. Maybe started with birth of son, but probably deeper issues than that. Even getting to first base would something to celebrate. I imagine I'll will just stick it out for the long run, even though I know that's probably not the healthiest of solutions. Other than this board, I've only told two woman friends about my plight. They've had lots of good suggestions, but I'm currently not expecting much to happen anytime soon. Anyhow, thought I would give this board a try. I've read a few great posts from some obviously great people. Hello Skguy welcome to the crappest club... But it's full of the best people .... And we all understand xx |
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alseahawk
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Post by alseahawk on May 12, 2016 15:40:24 GMT -5
Noob here...longtime lurker on EP. Figured I'd jump in the deep end! 17+ years in my little sexless circle of Hell. It's been 2 years and 4 months since our last awkward encounter (not that I'm counting). I'm not sure I'd even have sex with her at this point. Unfortunately it's been this way since pretty much the beginning. I knew 2 months in that I was in trouble yet have never done anything about it. We have "the talk" every so often, but nothing changes. We're much better at being friends than we are lovers. Sorry, I've been throwing a pity party for myself today. Meh?  |
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2016 15:44:34 GMT -5
Hi and welcome alseahawk! Jump in to the no-judgment zone. |
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alseahawk
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Age Range: 41-45
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Post by alseahawk on May 12, 2016 15:53:00 GMT -5
Hi and welcome alseahawk ! Jump in to the no-judgment zone. Why thank you very much |
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Post by eternaloptimism on May 12, 2016 16:04:00 GMT -5
Noob here...longtime lurker on EP. Figured I'd jump in the deep end! 17+ years in my little sexless circle of Hell. It's been 2 years and 4 months since our last awkward encounter (not that I'm counting). I'm not sure I'd even have sex with her at this point. Unfortunately it's been this way since pretty much the beginning. I knew 2 months in that I was in trouble yet have never done anything about it. We have "the talk" every so often, but nothing changes. We're much better at being friends than we are lovers. Sorry, I've been throwing a pity party for myself today. Meh? we should have known better friend! i knew it wasnt meant to be with in a couple of months too. we were a holiday romance. i packed my job in and moved halfway across the country to be with him after onky having 2 days together on holiday. what a flump I was! we cant change the past though can we. be optimistic for the future xx |
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Post by bigboobman on May 12, 2016 18:45:13 GMT -5
Hi everyone I'm new .never heard of this site before.i hope to get some female opinions to my 10 years without any sex.and 1 hugg a month marriage.
I'm 48 married to a 34 year old 2 kids and the sex stopped dead after our son second kid was born.thats it.dead took off her rings and became a freezer on legs.
She has a thyroid problem.claims she's always tired and only has effort for her 4 hours a day phone addiction.
I'm whale shit...
Way a sex dynamo when we first got together when she was 17.always naked always sagging nudist beaches holidays ect ect now she's Mary poppins. ..and ideas why girls ....don't want to talk about it doesn't want any affection unless she's I'll. And always asks for hugs from the kids who don't want to give it to her only me....
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Post by bigboobman on May 12, 2016 18:45:57 GMT -5
Hi everyone I'm new .never heard of this site before.i hope to get some female opinions to my 10 years without any sex.and 1 hugg a month marriage.
I'm 48 married to a 34 year old 2 kids and the sex stopped dead after our son second kid was born.thats it.dead took off her rings and became a freezer on legs.
She has a thyroid problem.claims she's always tired and only has effort for her 4 hours a day phone addiction.
I'm whale shit...
Way a sex dynamo when we first got together when she was 17.always naked always sagging nudist beaches holidays ect ect now she's Mary poppins. ..and ideas why girls ....don't want to talk about it doesn't want any affection unless she's I'll. And always asks for hugs from the kids who don't want to give it to her only me....
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Post by skguy on May 12, 2016 20:14:23 GMT -5
Hello Skguy welcome to the crappest club... But it's full of the best people .... And we all understand xx Thank you eternaloptimism. My eyes have really been opened after just one day of being here. I have to admit that some of the stories on here have really affected me deeply. I haven't had a chance to go back and read everyone's introduction yet, but so far, I've been really moved. There's part of me that wants to help everyone, but that's impossible I know. But I will try and give my full support whenever I can. p.s. I love your user name. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on May 13, 2016 0:08:15 GMT -5
Hello Skguy welcome to the crappest club... But it's full of the best people .... And we all understand xx Thank you eternaloptimism. My eyes have really been opened after just one day of being here. I have to admit that some of the stories on here have really affected me deeply. I haven't had a chance to go back and read everyone's introduction yet, but so far, I've been really moved. There's part of me that wants to help everyone, but that's impossible I know. But I will try and give my full support whenever I can. p.s. I love your user name. Well thanks I swear, once your eyes are opened you feel much more empowered... About choices really. It's still hard and a mega journey for us all to take, but it's fab to be able to talk frankly and honestly isn't it. Hope you stay around and get strong xxxx |
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Post by DryCreek on May 16, 2016 13:44:16 GMT -5
Hello all, LITW here ... new name, same me. Details of the name switch available upon request. Thank goodness... your new name is much easier to pronounce.  |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 14:49:37 GMT -5
Hi everyone I'm new .never heard of this site before.i hope to get some female opinions to my 10 years without any sex.and 1 hugg a month marriage. I'm 48 married to a 34 year old 2 kids and the sex stopped dead after our son second kid was born.thats it.dead took off her rings and became a freezer on legs. She has a thyroid problem.claims she's always tired and only has effort for her 4 hours a day phone addiction. I'm whale shit... Way a sex dynamo when we first got together when she was 17.always naked always sagging nudist beaches holidays ect ect now she's Mary poppins. ..and ideas why girls ....don't want to talk about it doesn't want any affection unless she's I'll. And always asks for hugs from the kids who don't want to give it to her only me.... I'm a bit taken aback by your description of your wife as a "freezer on legs" and your username, tbh. YIKES. Thyroid conditions notoriously zap a person's energy, so I can certainly understand why she would be tired. What exactly are your expectations of her? Counseling? Nude beaches again? |
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. I'm a nice person. I'm cute. People like me. Well, people outside my marriage that is. 
