Definition of Love and Marriage

That's quite lovely.  Did someone write that for you snowman2345 or are you still under the effects of hallucinogenics?

I feel you. But I still may be weird

I love my cat. I love coffee. I love my family. I even love my wife. But I am not sexually attracted to any of them.

I am sexually attracted to Katy Perry and many of the girls I see on my Instagram account. But I can't say that I love them, as I don't know them.

Love is a lot of things, some of it involving sexual attraction.

Now to marriage - it's a commitment. You share bodies, money, health, values, and even a home. You agree to support each other and share debts. It's a lot of work. I had acquaintances who were against gay marriage. I reminded them how much work is involved in a marriage and how much it is more than sex. I quoted Kinky Friedman, who said "Why should heterosexuals have all the misery?"

flowerdust   For many years, I had long since TOTALLY FORGOTTEN what Love was . . .  to actually have genuine feelings for another . . .  I can tell you that the Universe (or God if you want) will show you again, in my case, in the most unexpected place and with the most unforeseen person . . .  it was not by my choice.  

As the Viscount de Valmont said in "Dangerous Liaisons" it is "Out of my control".    My experience is Love is the most powerful of all human emotions and perhaps even the binding force of the Universe itself, and it is not a "Choice" it is overpowering to the person that in turn emanates it from the heart and soul. 

A few maximes:

- No amount of money can buy love - everything else in this universe is for sale but not love (Sex, Gold, Power, even Earth itself, etc.).  
- Love is free though it has no price and is the most valuable and precious of all that touches Humans
- Love or "Being in Love" is never a choice by the individual
- Whether that "Being in Love" burns out or turns into a Long Term Loving Relationship is a choice, in fact a million choices and actions. 

That is my three cents. 

I have two arms, two legs and a wife. I will separate with them when I am dead.

The answers for what it is and isn't, roughly correspond to how I felt when I asked my then-wife to marry me and when I finally chose to split.

I asked her to marry me not long after I was returning home after a weekend business trip and realized I couldn't wait to see her.
She had become a vital part of "home" for me.

When I finally committed made the decision to split, I was very surprised to feel not just the loss of what was, but also to mourn the loss of an imagined future together. Christmases, growing old etc.  From this, I learned that marriage should include a shared belief in a common future together and some level of joy in that.

I think this is partly why spouses who are celibate (whether willingly or not), cheating, or otherwise mismatched end up devoting so much of their energies to delaying, complicating, and obfuscating what's clear to both of them. This is most pronounced when a member of a couple who has been celibate for years moves out of the bedroom, or has an affair, and the other partner reacts poorly to it. It's because confronting the obvious truth gives it form, and this jeopardizes the belief in the common future.

When that happens, the "marriage" is over. Even for the sexually averse partner, the affair or simply sleeping in another bed is an external signal that they are not partners in marriage. They might be partners in other things, but not in love or marriage.

I have a cooperative arrangement with my ex-wife that's more amicable than many married couples I've seen. But neither of us has any illusion that we're partners to each other.