|
|
Post by dinnaken on Mar 11, 2017 3:37:18 GMT -5
Greetings JPN,
It's good to meet you and sad to hear your story.
I'm sure that many of us here can identify with many aspects of your story. Being in a sexless marriage is isolating and it is difficult to understand what is happening to you.
I do like your analogy of the sinking boat and the bailer; in my case the water was up to my chin and the bailer was bobbing off out of reach before I took action!
If you are preparing for the talk, I absolutely agree with Baza's advice.
Very best wishes
|
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Mar 11, 2017 10:52:18 GMT -5
jpn - I have tried for some time to come up with an accurate analogy for my SM & me "just knowing" that working on the marriage was not worth my time investment. The bailing of the boat is VERY right on for mine. Welcome- I'm glad you found our group & glad that you posted, to begin the effort of opening up & owning your reality. And thank you, specifically, for the boat picture. I realized, when swamped already, that I know how to swim. The panic unfroze & even though I flailed about at first, fighting turbulence caused (or worsened) by the wreckage falling away, I'm on course now, paddling/resting/stroking my way toward Opposite Land. And I couldn't be more pleased about my future. I haven't had this much hope in a long time. Good luck with your navigating.
|
|
jpn
Junior Member
Brrrrrrrrr...
Posts: 75 
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by jpn on Mar 12, 2017 2:37:02 GMT -5
Baza, thanks for the great guidelines. That's exactly why I'm here, to get a level point to this all and right out of the gate you see it true and say it like it is. I've appreciated many of your posts, and the guidelines are tops! Thanks!! Thanks for the greetings dinnaken and GeekGoddess. The members of ilasm.org are no doubt a life ring tossed my way as the waves overtake. I can appreciate what everyone is going through and I look forward to continue reading all of your posts and being part of the group. Cheers!  |
|
|
|
Post by McRoomMate on Mar 12, 2017 6:12:20 GMT -5
jpn Welcome sorry you have to be here but you are not alone anymore. Already very good advice mentioned above
|
|
jpn
Junior Member
Brrrrrrrrr...
Posts: 75
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by jpn on Mar 12, 2017 18:18:43 GMT -5
Thanks McRoomMate.
It feels great to be able to talk about SM and read everyone's thoughts... and I've been doing a LOT of reading!!!
Cheers.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2017 11:11:37 GMT -5
Thanks McRoomMate. It feels great to be able to talk about SM and read everyone's thoughts... and I've been doing a LOT of reading!!! Cheers. Welcome. I hope you find some comfort here. |
|
jpn
Junior Member
Brrrrrrrrr...
Posts: 75
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by jpn on Mar 13, 2017 20:47:23 GMT -5
Thanks McRoomMate. It feels great to be able to talk about SM and read everyone's thoughts... and I've been doing a LOT of reading!!! Cheers. Welcome. I hope you find some comfort here. Comfort. You know, that is one of the best words to describe my experience so far and reading as much on here as possible. Comfort. Very well put. Thanks for the warm welcome... feels great to be a part of a group that are pulling for each other. .... comfort... I like it!!! Cheers!! |
|
|
|
Post by nancyb on Mar 14, 2017 20:39:00 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum jpn. |
|
jpn
Junior Member
Brrrrrrrrr...
Posts: 75
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by jpn on Mar 14, 2017 20:47:52 GMT -5
Welcome to the forum jpn. Thanks nancyb. Very happy to be here! And... WOW... LOTS to read on here!!
I think your "status" is one of the best! "You can't control the wind but you can direct your sail."
|
|
|
|
Post by filigree on Mar 15, 2017 7:34:50 GMT -5
Just wanted to say hi, before I post my story in SM, as recommended.
I'm 47yo M, been in a SM for about 7 years. Reasons are far reaching, and some are genuinely due to medical issues for both myself and my wife.
I found this community via the r/Deadbedrooms sub on Reddit.
It's nice to find somewhere to start sharing my thoughts and feeling, and to find out I'm not alone.
I look forward to the journey
|
|
|
|
Post by nancyb on Mar 15, 2017 7:40:25 GMT -5
Welcome filigree. Glad you found your way to the forum. Pull up a chair and start reading. Welcome. |
|
|
|
Post by lyn on Mar 15, 2017 19:58:42 GMT -5
jpn Welcome! So glad that you've decided to post here. It can be quite cathartic once you do get your story out. The first step to actually taking back your life, I think anyway, is to get it all off of your chest. We'll always be here for you - we "get" you friend.
|
|
|
|
Post by lyn on Mar 15, 2017 20:04:11 GMT -5
Welcome filigree! I'm glad you found us and hope all of our stories can offer you some comfort in that you, my friend, not alone. Keep reading and keep sharing your story. The more you do, the more you will begin to heal. |
|
jpn
Junior Member
Brrrrrrrrr...
Posts: 75
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by jpn on Mar 15, 2017 20:46:49 GMT -5
jpn Welcome! So glad that you've decided to post here. It can be quite cathartic once you do get your story out. The first step to actually taking back your life, I think anyway, is to get it all off of your chest. We'll always be here for you - we "get" you friend. Thanks Lyn. I've already received SO much great information here. I'm looking forward to contributing along with everyone else whenever possible and continue to be part of the collective "we" in support of us all, and others. (feels great to be part of a "WE" that understands and are open) Cheers! |
|
jpn
Junior Member
Brrrrrrrrr...
Posts: 75
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by jpn on Mar 15, 2017 20:51:24 GMT -5
Just wanted to say hi, before I post my story in SM, as recommended. I'm 47yo M, been in a SM for about 7 years. Reasons are far reaching, and some are genuinely due to medical issues for both myself and my wife. I found this community via the r/Deadbedrooms sub on Reddit. It's nice to find somewhere to start sharing my thoughts and feeling, and to find out I'm not alone. I look forward to the journey Good day filigree! Welcome to the forum... I'm new here as well and from my short time already, I can tell you there is a LOT of great posts on here to read, and you are definitely not alone here. I hope the best for you on your journey! |
|
