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Post by shamwow on Sept 7, 2018 11:58:49 GMT -5
I get introspective like this at times except with a different twist. It goes something like: At any given moment, all around the world, there are millions of people fucking. Some for the first time, some for the last, some with a new partner, some with a regular partner. Its a lot of sexual energy and I want to tap into it. I dont know what that says about me. I found myself walking alone down the beach on a Fri. night looking up at all the hotel rooms and balconies, thinking, "there must be some woman here, alone who wants to be with a man. It says you're a human being. |
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Post by lifeinwoodinville on Sept 8, 2018 12:18:12 GMT -5
I regret none of my outsourcing. Both the women I outsourced with are beautiful, wonderful, energetic women who love life, intimacy, and sex. I feel very fortunate that they shared themselves with me. Would I do it again? Yes, definitely, but only with a local woman. The first woman I outsourced with lives in New Zealand, I live just outside of Seattle. The second woman lives an hour and a half away, just far enough to make things difficult. So, if you are a woman in the Woodinville / Bothell / Redmond / Kirkland / Duvall area of Western Washington that is also in a sexless marriage who happens to be on the shorter side with a larger then average butt that is interested in outsourcing. We should have a conversation. Sorry- on the taller side with a normal sized butt living across the country from your location. But- you made me laugh so you get points for that! Well, I've never been with a tall woman. To be perfectly honest, tall, short, skinny, fat, young, old, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, I would love to try them all. You never know what you like until you try it. I remember the first time I tried Indian food, it was like a whole new world of flavors were tickling my tongue, I couldn't wait to eat Indian again. Oh, add Indian women to that list too. I'm happy I made you laugh, that is always a good thing. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2018 7:21:29 GMT -5
Wee! I get to buck the trend. I regret it big time. In my case, I was childish and selfish. Reckless. I was never caught. So from the parts of your post I deleted I am inferring she was caught. And that her H perhaps learned somehow who you are and proceeded to make life less than comfortable for you and really unpleasant for her. NO!! She was never caught either. The damage is to our characters and souls. Our families and other relationships and committments suffered as well, but they never knew why. Adultry is a nasty business, even when executed with skill and precision. |
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johannesfactotum
Junior Member
Behold the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it and ye shall see that it is barren
Posts: 42 
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by johannesfactotum on Sept 9, 2018 20:45:25 GMT -5
I regret not outsourcing with many of the willing women who expressed interest despite long years in a sexless marriage. Now that I'm separated from my STBX, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will remain celibate until the day I can put the torch to that worthless scrap of paper that is my marriage license. Not out of any lingering respect for my marriage, but rather so that "infidelity" can't be used against me in divorce proceedings.
Funnily enough, a friend and colleague says that half the single women she knows where we work together are practically knifing each other over who gets first crack at me once the divorce goes through.
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Post by javba on Sept 9, 2018 21:29:15 GMT -5
I regret not outsourcing with many of the willing women who expressed interest despite long years in a sexless marriage. Now that I'm separated from my STBX, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will remain celibate until the day I can put the torch to that worthless scrap of paper that is my marriage license. Not out of any lingering respect for my marriage, but rather so that "infidelity" can't be used against me in divorce proceedings. Funnily enough, a friend and colleague says that half the single women she knows where we work together are practically knifing each other over who gets first crack at me once the divorce goes through. Seems you'll have quite a bit of catching up to do. Remember to take your vitamins 😀 |
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Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 9, 2018 21:51:52 GMT -5
My gosh man. You will be like a drunken soldier making landfall after 20 years at sea. Work on your stamina, look into some supplements (magnesium, argenine, look into it). Start slow (1 girl at a time)....and try not to fall in love man. This is a massive rebound. ENJOY IT! 😈 With that out of the way, I leave you with this lil diddy from Walt Whitman to play out the sailor metaphor. "O Captain! My Captain! Our fearful trip is done, The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won, The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting" I regret not outsourcing with many of the willing women who expressed interest despite long years in a sexless marriage. Now that I'm separated from my STBX, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will remain celibate until the day I can put the torch to that worthless scrap of paper that is my marriage license. Not out of any lingering respect for my marriage, but rather so that "infidelity" can't be used against me in divorce proceedings. Funnily enough, a friend and colleague says that half the single women she knows where we work together are practically knifing each other over who gets first crack at me once the divorce goes through. |
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johannesfactotum
Junior Member
Behold the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it and ye shall see that it is barren
Posts: 42
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by johannesfactotum on Sept 9, 2018 21:54:36 GMT -5
I regret not outsourcing with many of the willing women who expressed interest despite long years in a sexless marriage. Now that I'm separated from my STBX, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will remain celibate until the day I can put the torch to that worthless scrap of paper that is my marriage license. Not out of any lingering respect for my marriage, but rather so that "infidelity" can't be used against me in divorce proceedings. Funnily enough, a friend and colleague says that half the single women she knows where we work together are practically knifing each other over who gets first crack at me once the divorce goes through. Seems you'll have quite a bit of catching up to do. Remember to take your vitamins 😀 Unfortunately, they're all too young for me and I won't get involved with people I work with. I won't get gobsmacked with any workplace harassment accusations. |
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Post by shamwow on Sept 10, 2018 8:49:31 GMT -5
I regret not outsourcing with many of the willing women who expressed interest despite long years in a sexless marriage. Now that I'm separated from my STBX, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and will remain celibate until the day I can put the torch to that worthless scrap of paper that is my marriage license. Not out of any lingering respect for my marriage, but rather so that "infidelity" can't be used against me in divorce proceedings. Funnily enough, a friend and colleague says that half the single women she knows where we work together are practically knifing each other over who gets first crack at me once the divorce goes through. It is not good that they are knifing each other over you. That builds resentment and hostility. Now some good old fashioned mud wrestling? That's a different matter entirely. Perhaps you could sell tickets and give the proceeds to some kind of kids charity. You, of course would be the prize. But, of course, the main thing is that it's about the children. |
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Post by nyctos on Sept 13, 2018 8:42:13 GMT -5
Regrets?
Maybe only that it ended too quickly and it's not like I have a ton of opportunities.
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Post by javba on Sept 13, 2018 19:21:59 GMT -5
Regrets? Maybe only that it ended too quickly and it's not like I have a ton of opportunities. What's the barrier |
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Post by Chatter Fox on Sept 13, 2018 21:32:49 GMT -5
I didn't vote because my outsourcing has been in the gray area. I'll explain... Emotional outsourcing - I fell in love online with an extremely special woman. My only regret is the hurt I caused her by saying goodbye. Online sexual outsourcing (aka sexting) - my only regret is the fact that future prospective partners may decide it's considered cheating. I'm on the fence about that judgement. Regardless, sexting was fun and helped fill a void. In the grand scheme of life though, I believe it was relatively harmless and given the situation.... not terribly sinful.  I've yet to fully outsource with a real life partner. But this poll is making me want to find a local iliasm member in the same boat. |
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Post by Dan on Sept 13, 2018 22:11:02 GMT -5
So these are interesting results. To me, it indicates that when you are starving, you are very happy to get a meal even if it is something you would never have considered, uh, eating before. That... and this: for those of us who are dedicated enough to STAY in long-term SMs, I propose we tend to be thinkers. We think about our situations, our actions, and our lack of actions... a lot. I propose that the effort to slowly, rationally come to the conclusion that "cheating is my best possible option" is an arduous path, and those of us in long-term SMs who get to that point are -- therefore -- very UNLIKELY to feel guilty (toward their spouse) because we've already rationalized it away. Now, if the affair lead to a bad experience with that AP, I could see some regret. But regret for "cheating" on the marriage? Hey, I felt she cheated me out of a normal, healthy, marital sex life first. |
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Post by Dan on Sept 13, 2018 22:16:24 GMT -5
If you could live your life over again, would you avoid outsourcing? If I could live my life over -- tantamount to saying "go back to being 22 knowing everything I know now" -- I would have a much better shot at finding a person with similar values toward sex and intimacy, and I wouldn't have to outsource at all! |
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Post by Dan on Sept 13, 2018 22:19:16 GMT -5
Perhaps the "perfect affair" (when outsourcing in an SM) is one where: - You don't get caught.
- You don't regret it.
- You don't catch any disease.
- You don't make any babies.
- You don't fall in love.
My score (considering my one "big affair", about ten years ago): my affair was 80% perfect. (I messed up on the last point.)
But, still, I don't regret it. (The affair was not a mistake. Pining for my AP for years after she broke it off: now THAT was rather a waste of time. Man: was I smitten...)
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Post by Isabellas39 on Sept 16, 2018 7:23:15 GMT -5
I have outsourced twice, and I can't say that I regretted it. I also can't tout the great benefits either. Did I get sex? Yes, I sure did but that was the easy part. For me the realization that many men in this setting do not mean shit they say truly added another layer of frustration to my life.Reading profiles and talking to men that professed the love they had for their wives, while at the same time they're on affair 99 was an eye opener . Some men on AM had girlfriends for crying out loud. This path changed my view on relationships in a very negative way.
Trust was already difficult, but this made it even worse. The thing is the why was and is very important to me. When you ask men why they're cheating they almost always claim a sexless marriage yet they love their wives, and talk about how great she is. Heck, one renewed vows and planned on adopting a child all while wanting to keep seeing me. I was freaking horrified because that type of deception IMO was insane. Too many lies involved in affairs, and I have reached the conclusion I will never find what I need following this path. I would have to change my needs to just sex if this path is to work going forward. Therefore, I am down to just two options.
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