|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Sept 14, 2018 8:02:43 GMT -5
I tried to see a lawyer Baz. I was like a dear in headlights and I had no idea the right questions or what to expect. She tripped me up when she asked who would get custody of the kids. I panicked. I had no idea of our finances. What exactly do we ask to find out how things will shake out? I figured I wasnt ready. If you own a computer all you need to do is go online and query" Questions to ask your divorce attorney". You can also research articles on divorcing and child custody or support. As part of a separation agreement and eventual divorce decree things like insurance and financial responsibility for medical/dental costs and holiday custody should be part of the discussion. IRA/401K's division should also be part or your discussion with the attorney. All part of the preparation process when /if you decide to pull the trigger on ending a SM. |
|
|
|
Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 14, 2018 9:39:35 GMT -5
*** Unless you dont care if your spouse knows, cover your digital tracks!!! Dont use a family or shared computer. Remember advertisers track everything. Last thing you want is your spouse getting ads for divorce services. My advice? Use a burner phone or go to a library to use the computer for this kind of research I tried to see a lawyer Baz. I was like a dear in headlights and I had no idea the right questions or what to expect. She tripped me up when she asked who would get custody of the kids. I panicked. I had no idea of our finances. What exactly do we ask to find out how things will shake out? I figured I wasnt ready. If you own a computer all you need to do is go online and query" Questions to ask your divorce attorney". You can also research articles on divorcing and child custody or support. As part of a separation agreement and eventual divorce decree things like insurance and financial responsibility for medical/dental costs and holiday custody should be part of the discussion. IRA/401K's division should also be part or your discussion with the attorney. All part of the preparation process when /if you decide to pull the trigger on ending a SM. |
|
|
|
Post by h on Sept 14, 2018 9:43:09 GMT -5
*** Unless you dont care if your spouse knows, cover your digital tracks!!! Dont use a family or shared computer. Remember advertisers track everything. Last thing you want is your spouse getting ads for divorce services. My advice? Use a burner phone or go to a library to use the computer for this kind of research If you own a computer all you need to do is go online and query" Questions to ask your divorce attorney". You can also research articles on divorcing and child custody or support. As part of a separation agreement and eventual divorce decree things like insurance and financial responsibility for medical/dental costs and holiday custody should be part of the discussion. IRA/401K's division should also be part or your discussion with the attorney. All part of the preparation process when /if you decide to pull the trigger on ending a SM. In Google Chrome, the "incognito mode" erases all cookies and history once the window is closed. |
|
|
|
Post by TheGreatContender -aka Daddeeo on Sept 14, 2018 9:51:20 GMT -5
Especially google...they track everything despite what they say Safest bet is a burner phone or library Family devices, work devices, personal phone are high risk unless you take pre-emptive measures (hidden folders, hidden apps, encrypted files and all that other stuff nerds talk about) *** Unless you dont care if your spouse knows, cover your digital tracks!!! Dont use a family or shared computer. Remember advertisers track everything. Last thing you want is your spouse getting ads for divorce services. My advice? Use a burner phone or go to a library to use the computer for this kind of research In Google Chrome, the "incognito mode" erases all cookies and history once the window is closed. |
|
|
|
Post by javba on Sept 15, 2018 10:19:36 GMT -5
Install a browser on your phone
Do your research
Delete the browser.
|
|
|
|
Post by iceman on Sept 15, 2018 10:48:55 GMT -5
I voted yes but it’s really a only partial consideration. I certainly don’t want to be held in by money but I’d be untruthful saying it wasn’t a consideration in me staying so far.
|
|
|
|
Post by javba on Sept 15, 2018 11:15:03 GMT -5
Dollar Almighty
The consideration becomes more important the higher the age and income. Until and unless there's plenty to go around i.e you're both equal earners and not financially under water.
IMHO
|
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Sept 15, 2018 23:54:02 GMT -5
If I won the lottery, I would be calling a divorce lawyer the same day... boy, that remark is more teling than you may know. Please, do a free consult with a lawyer for grins. or check with legal aid. if you're not sure how to find low cost legal help, check with the United Way agency 8n your municipality. you owe it to yourself. you still have time for a good life with someone. don't waste that opportunity. |
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Sept 15, 2018 23:55:43 GMT -5
*** Unless you dont care if your spouse knows, cover your digital tracks!!! Dont use a family or shared computer. Remember advertisers track everything. Last thing you want is your spouse getting ads for divorce services. My advice? Use a burner phone or go to a library to use the computer for this kind of research In Google Chrome, the "incognito mode" erases all cookies and history once the window is closed. or so they tell us. do be careful. |
|
|
|
Post by saarinista on Sept 15, 2018 23:58:26 GMT -5
On that last part, I understand why some people bury their spouses but that is not how I roll. Someday, though, I will look at the money coming out of my paycheck and think to myself, "if I'd have killed her, I'd be out by now." It's never too late.... shammy! hammy! I'm disappointed that you would joke like that! 😜 |
|
|
|
Post by shamwow on Sept 16, 2018 0:05:08 GMT -5
shammy! hammy! I'm disappointed that you would joke like that! 😜 Joke? 🤔 |
|
|
|
Money
Sept 16, 2018 0:34:42 GMT -5
Post by saarinista on Sept 16, 2018 0:34:42 GMT -5
uh,er..... 😁
|
|
DrNo
Junior Member
Posts: 52 
Age Range: 51-55
|
Money
Sept 16, 2018 7:35:43 GMT -5
Post by DrNo on Sept 16, 2018 7:35:43 GMT -5
I voted yes to this on the basis that it is definitely a factor in my decision making, but it is far from the only factor.
I'm from the UK and with teenage children I would be staring down the barrel of about a $15-20m pay out to my wife. That has always focused my mind a little, I suppose because I've worked so very hard to get us where we are. I do also recognise that my wife has been part of that journey and is indeed entitled to her share of it.
It's not so much about the money as to "do I value my time with my children? at this point in our marriage I do very much so".
Basically I'm kicking the can down the road :-)
|
|
|
|
Post by javba on Sept 16, 2018 10:46:21 GMT -5
In the social reasons to stay, money's not been the major factor.
However kids are, when that's done staying would be even more meaningless.
She's a great gal, if I was impotent.
|
|
endthegame
Junior Member
Posts: 96
Age Range: 46-50
|
Post by endthegame on Oct 7, 2018 15:35:05 GMT -5
This is how it's gone for me.
I need an affordable house to rent for the kids. 3 bed.
SM gets worse
I need a 2 bed, I'll sleep on the sofa.
SM gets worse
I'll wait till kids leave, then rent a cheaper place
SM gets worse
I'll get a shitty bedsit
SM gets worse
I'll move back in with my parents.
All of these choices at some time have been a factor in staying stuck in my SM
I am now literally considering moving back with my folks, which also means loosing my job, just to get out.
Finance Vs happiness / sanity / health is relative.
|
|
