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Post by baza on Mar 11, 2019 0:57:44 GMT -5
I recall reading some study from the University of Dunedin a couple of years back.
As I recollect the study found very little - if any - gender difference in the rates of verbal / physical abuse present in the study group.
I think a university in Denmark may have done some work on the subject too.
It all read to me like women are just as likely to insult or hit blokes as blokes are likely to insult or hit women.
But the physical effect is usually worse when a physically bigger person hits a smaller person. And generally the smaller person in the situation is a woman.
More on topic - I saw this Documentary on tv last night - about this bloke in the UK who was foully abused verbally and physically by his partner, oftentimes requiring hospital treatment, police intervention and all. An awful tale (as is any abusive story) and the thinking of both abuser and abusee is highly HIGHLY complex. Looks simple from the outside looking in, but is not at all simple.
Abuse is a blight on society.
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Post by theexplorer on Mar 21, 2019 10:52:49 GMT -5
My wife drives me nuckin' futz! My psychologist says she's a bully, a lazy diva, and she treats me like her personal servant. I tolerate her because of my kids. I don't want to break up the family. I don't want my kids have to move away from their friends because as single people neither of us can afford to live in this area. I don't want to see my kids half the time. I don't want my wife remarrying and have some other guy raising my kids when I am not there. I made the decision long ago to put up with my wife as long as I can because of my kids. I am fully aware of the arguments against my plan but this is what I think is best for everyone involved.
If you are considering leaving after the kids grow up, there is one thing you should consider. In this area, the longer you are married, the more it will cost you to leave. (This is a general rule.) You may lose more assets. Your retirement savings could take a major hit. If you live in an area with LIFETIME alimony, after than kicks in you may be really trapped!!!
On a similar point, the older you are when you leave, the fewer years you have to recover financially afterwards.
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Post by theexplorer on Mar 21, 2019 11:05:36 GMT -5
I don’t think that when men get abused in a relationship it is ever as serious as the more serious cases of female abuse and I think my concern would lie more with vulnerable women but the male cases are there and this needs to be recognised.
I suspect that one of the unrecognized effects of abusive women is male suicide.
Some men are unable to talk about or seek help in dealing with an abusive woman. Such men have been taught (or brainwashed!) to never admit that a woman is hurting or harming them. They think such an admission is a sign of weakness. So they take it....until they no longer can live with it.
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Post by Handy on Mar 21, 2019 23:44:48 GMT -5
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Post by sadkat on Mar 22, 2019 8:28:59 GMT -5
That is a very good article Handy- some of the comments could have been pulled right out of this forum, too! Thanks for sharing!
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Post by Handy on Mar 22, 2019 21:42:37 GMT -5
I don't like to admit it but this from the article kind of describes me right now Couples in dysfunctional relationships may stick it out simply because their standards for marriage are low.
Another factor is older women I talk with seem to want to keep their independence and not share space. One lady I know doesn't want her kids to stay very long when they visit from out of town.
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Post by northstarmom on Mar 23, 2019 8:12:17 GMT -5
Handy said: “Another factor is older women I talk with seem to want to keep their independence and not share space. One lady I know doesn't want her kids to stay very long when they visit from out of town.”
Are you concerned about this because you don’t want to live alone?
It doesn’t surprise me that some women don’t want their kids to stay very long when they visit. People get used to their routines and company, even beloved company, is disruptive. This especially is true of people who have busy lives, which independent, interesting people have even in retirement. And some people aren’t good guests. They may demand special food, expect to be waited on hand and foot, make messes or — in the case of offspring— obnoxiously try to emphasize their maturity and differences from how they were brought up.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2019 8:13:28 GMT -5
I don’t think that when men get abused in a relationship it is ever as serious as the more serious cases of female abuse and I think my concern would lie more with vulnerable women but the male cases are there and this needs to be recognised.
I suspect that one of the unrecognized effects of abusive women is male suicide.
Some men are unable to talk about or seek help in dealing with an abusive woman. Such men have been taught (or brainwashed!) to never admit that a woman is hurting or harming them. They think such an admission is a sign of weakness. So they take it....until they no longer can live with it.
Honestly. I think it’s hard for any abused person to leave an abusive partner. The abused becomes so downtrodden that it takes a Herculean feat to leave. Whether you are male or female.
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Post by Handy on Mar 23, 2019 9:27:18 GMT -5
Elle. I think it’s hard for any abused person to leave an abusive partner. The abused becomes so downtrodden that it takes a Herculean feat to leave. Whether you are male or female.
Add a felling of responsibility, how the finances shake out to the downtrodden part and I understand why people stay so long.
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bklyndad1
New Member
Posts: 3
Age Range: 41-45
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Post by bklyndad1 on Dec 17, 2019 18:08:15 GMT -5
Given that this is being asked in a SM forum, is any version of imposing celibacy on someone considered "abuse"?
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Post by baza on Dec 17, 2019 18:46:16 GMT -5
Given that this is being asked in a SM forum, is any version of imposing celibacy on someone considered "abuse"? Some people may consider it so, and some may not. The critical judgement call in this regard is YOURS. FWIW my opinion is that *anything* that imposes one persons will over another persons autonomy is abuse. But that is just my opinion and as such is worth jack shit. YOUR opinion is the only one that matters in your deal bklyndad1
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Post by mirrororchid on Nov 29, 2021 6:01:15 GMT -5
can hydroxychloroquine be purchased over the counter Reported. It takes a special kind of scumball to peddle fake medicines. HCQ is actually good medicine. For malaria. I'm sure that's what thotaLaMtsvj has in mind, though he might have more luck posting in the "What Can I Do About My Tropical Disease?" Thread. I actually thank him/her/it/zir. It bumped this thread. The fourth bullet point of Handy's article says: "If people believe there may be better alternative partners for them, they may be more likely to leave. If they don't, they could find reasons to stay."
Finding out whether there might be partners for me out there led to my platonic dating which forced the reset I currently enjoy. Testing perceived reality was quite the confidence restoration method.
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Post by ironhamster on Dec 4, 2021 20:56:55 GMT -5
On behalf of everyone, I want to offer sincere thanks to the admins for shutting down the spam bots.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 26, 2022 10:13:09 GMT -5
On behalf of everyone, I want to offer sincere thanks to the admins for shutting down the spam bots. The're back!
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 19, 2024 7:04:38 GMT -5
Partial Translation: "This article touches on key aspects of the animal world, their role in the environment and human culture.
The richness of animals, their role in environmental assessment, unique abilities, and their role in mythology are discussed. Attention is drawn to the problems that animals face as a result of human activity, and the importance of their conservation is emphasized."I altered the address. No one should follow such links without extreme caution. Odd spam.
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