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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 11, 2020 10:53:33 GMT -5
In college, setup a romantic dinner with a girl I liked just the two of us in a small restaurant. Arranged a special meal, flowers, even a violinist. Then she cancelled our date before it happened. 🙁 Did she still want to be friends? Funny how women still want to be friends after they have kicked your romantic notions to the curb
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Post by h on Jan 13, 2020 8:31:14 GMT -5
Drove 10 hours straight through the night so I could surprise my gf (now W) with a weekend visit from college. Left after class on Friday so I could get there before she woke up in the morning. Spent all day Saturday and Sunday with her. Then drove back Sunday night for Monday classes. Did you get some kind of reward for all that driving? Not really. She was happy. This was before we were married so I wasn't expecting anything other than that in the hopes of future rewards. Those didn't happen either.
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grower
Junior Member
Posts: 79
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Post by grower on Jan 13, 2020 10:28:09 GMT -5
If the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Have we all lost our frickin minds?? This is not for the "happily married" in every way but not getting any sex folks, but for those of use who are in crappy marriages with poor or no communication, few common interests and no sex. Why year after year do we think something is going to change, it's not and we are deluding ourselves thinking otherwise. So I am insane and deluded but I am ready to get the F out and get on with something, it will have to be better, Right?? please say it's so. Grower out
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Post by deadzone75 on Jan 13, 2020 15:29:43 GMT -5
If the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Have we all lost our frickin minds?? This is not for the "happily married" in every way but not getting any sex folks, but for those of use who are in crappy marriages with poor or no communication, few common interests and no sex. Why year after year do we think something is going to change, it's not and we are deluding ourselves thinking otherwise. So I am insane and deluded but I am ready to get the F out and get on with something, it will have to be better, Right?? please say it's so. Grower out Happily married or crappily married, no sex is no sex.
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Post by ScottDinTN on Jan 14, 2020 7:52:00 GMT -5
In college, setup a romantic dinner with a girl I liked just the two of us in a small restaurant. Arranged a special meal, flowers, even a violinist. Then she cancelled our date before it happened. 🙁 Did she still want to be friends? Funny how women still want to be friends after they have kicked your romantic notions to the curb She did actually. Lol
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Post by ScottDinTN on Jan 14, 2020 7:54:02 GMT -5
In college, setup a romantic dinner with a girl I liked just the two of us in a small restaurant. Arranged a special meal, flowers, even a violinist. Then she cancelled our date before it happened. 🙁 Well that was a bummer! Yes, everyone I had recruited to help me was mad at her. I think they wanted to see the romantic dinner happen as much as me. Lol
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Post by sadkat on Jan 24, 2020 17:51:33 GMT -5
What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship?
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Post by baza on Jan 24, 2020 18:06:27 GMT -5
What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship? Looking after your own end of the communication dynamic, and being honest with yourself.
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 25, 2020 9:36:09 GMT -5
What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship? Opportunity. That is, making time to talk. Creating opportunities for conversation to happen. Quality conversation. In today’s connected world, people are squeezing more out of their day, and being more connected than ever. It’s easier to communicate, but superficially.
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Post by angeleyes65 on Jan 25, 2020 14:44:05 GMT -5
I think it's important to tell your partner how you feel about things. Not expecting them to read your mind. I think it's important to ask questions to help your partner if they are not good with communication. I also think when you have something important to discuss to shut off the TV , put down the phones. We often go out to eat. Or I will say we need to discuss somethings is can we put away the electronics.
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Post by isthisit on Jan 25, 2020 23:17:17 GMT -5
What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship? Honesty with yourself and each other. Also important is listening. Real listening, not hearing. Listening to the other with an open mind, and a willingness to consider the other’s perspective and a take a long hard look at your own side of the fence.
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Post by sadkat on Jan 26, 2020 0:45:36 GMT -5
What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship? Honesty with yourself and each other. Also important is listening. Real listening, not hearing. Listening to the other with an open mind, and a willingness to consider the other’s perspective and a take a long hard look at your own side of the fence. I like this- very much! I would also add that real communication takes a fair bit of vulnerability. I’ve been working on that.
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Post by DryCreek on Jan 26, 2020 23:53:24 GMT -5
Honesty with yourself and each other. Also important is listening. Real listening, not hearing. Listening to the other with an open mind, and a willingness to consider the other’s perspective and a take a long hard look at your own side of the fence. I like this- very much! I would also add that real communication takes a fair bit of vulnerability. I’ve been working on that. I really like both of these answers. I’ll pile on with the other side of the equation - don’t be judgmental. That doesn’t necessarily mean accepting everything they have to say, but it does mean fostering an attitude that’s open to hearing what the other person has to share; making them feel comfortable about being honest and vulnerable. What springs to mind as an illustration is the “It’s not my kink, but that’s OK” attitude of the BDSM crowd.
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Post by Handy on Jan 27, 2020 1:22:46 GMT -5
What do you think makes for good communication in a relationship? I feel lost when it comes to communicating with my W. I have to ask questions 2 or 3 times to understand her meaning or position. I have to explain what I mean 2 or 3 times when I bring up a subject. I watch other people go back and forth without having to explain or clarify their positions or intent and think WOW, they must have mental telepathy and know what the other s thinking. OTH what I think about seems more serious (factual, scientific, economic, medical) than what most people talk about. I am good with listening and trying to understand the other person's points. I do have a resentment for people that go on and on especially when their point sounds biased or not based on facts. Maybe I am just a quiet person that likes facts more than opinions that sound self-absorbed. Maybe I just need the right type of people to talk with.
I think if I talk honestly, most other people will think I am weird so I don't say much.
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Post by carl on Jan 27, 2020 19:28:04 GMT -5
There’s one way in which I bet a lot of us here communicate well. Actions speech louder than words and the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.
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