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Post by snowman12345 on Mar 31, 2018 3:55:56 GMT -5
Seems perfectly legit to me Brother wewbwb . Would it be fair to say that most of your posts go in the "Lighter Side" threads ? May be Brother snowman12345 too ? Just out of interest, the 5 most "popular" groupings for posts are - out of 94,103 total posts... 36,878 - "Sexless Marriage Issues" - 39% 15,138 - "Sexually Speaking" - 16% 14,209 - "Lighter Side" - 15% 11,585 - "Off Topic" - 12% 8,698 - "Post Sexless Marriage" - 9% I rarely post anywhere but the lighter side. I do read the posts in the SM Issues thread. If I post there it is because a story or situation moves me to speak up. I remain a lighter side regular because laughter means you're alive. It's therapeutic. I will sometimes post in Sexually Speaking, but it usually leaves me feeling sticky and used. I post where I feel I have the most to offer.
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Post by baza on Mar 31, 2018 4:12:37 GMT -5
There is some piss-funny stuff in the "Lighter Side" that you and others put up Brother snowman12345 . I think it was mrslowmaintenance who put one up about 'Rape Fantasy' that was one of the funniest (and in breathtakingly bad taste) things I've seen. |
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Post by snowman12345 on Mar 31, 2018 14:41:09 GMT -5
There is some piss-funny stuff in the "Lighter Side" that you and others put up Brother snowman12345 . I think it was mrslowmaintenance who put one up about 'Rape Fantasy' that was one of the funniest (and in breathtakingly bad taste) things I've seen. Oh yes, she has an especially twisted sense of humor! The world needs more like her! |
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Post by hopingforachange on Mar 31, 2018 21:31:59 GMT -5
There is some piss-funny stuff in the "Lighter Side" that you and others put up Brother snowman12345 . I think it was mrslowmaintenance who put one up about 'Rape Fantasy' that was one of the funniest (and in breathtakingly bad taste) things I've seen. Oh yes, she has an especially twisted sense of humor! The world needs more like her! Yes, the world does. |
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Post by mrslowmaintenance on Apr 11, 2018 11:19:28 GMT -5
*blushes*
Oh stop it you!!!
Hahahaha, luv u
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 29, 2018 7:45:16 GMT -5
Create a subform for only those who wish to stay in their sms and try to turn them around. Let others lurk but not post.
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Post by baza on Apr 29, 2018 8:03:15 GMT -5
I'll endorse Sister northstarmom 's suggestion. I can't see any known way it could be policed, but there are some smart people involved in this group who may be able to see how it could be done. |
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Post by elynne on Apr 29, 2018 8:26:02 GMT -5
And for those of us who are really on the fence, trying to sort it out? Giving the marriage our last effort and scraping together our courage to go? Do we bop back and forth between forum and sub forum?
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Post by GeekGoddess on Apr 29, 2018 8:35:04 GMT -5
Well - when a person finds the page & doesn’t start an account, they can lurk on all the groups under the forum.
A group could be created, in addition to SM Issues and Post SM, called Coping with Staying. Others (those who plan to stay & those who have left) May be able to post, but there could be a “pinned” post at top explaining the point of the subgroup & asking that only items related to Staying and/or Coping be posted there.
Most of us are pretty respectful of moderator requests on this board, so it could work.
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Post by northstarmom on Apr 29, 2018 10:21:45 GMT -5
Even though i believe that once someone finds this site, the odds are 1% or so that they can attain a fulfilling sex life with their current partner, if a subforum dedicated to stayers were started, I’d just lurk, not comment there.
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Post by choosinghappy on Apr 29, 2018 15:36:57 GMT -5
Even though i believe that once someone finds this site, the odds are 1% or so that they can attain a fulfilling sex life with their current partner... Even if this figure is correct, we can see that many MANY more than 1% choose to stay despite the odds. And I agree with a previous comment on another thread that many likely choose not to post to avoid receiving advise or comments implying that they are foolish for staying. I think the subforum could be useful. |
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Post by lwoetin on Apr 29, 2018 15:47:41 GMT -5
Even though i believe that once someone finds this site, the odds are 1% or so that they can attain a fulfilling sex life with their current partner... Even if this figure is correct, we can see that many MANY more than 1% choose to stay despite the odds. And I agree with a previous comment on another thread that many likely choose not to post to avoid receiving advise or comments implying that they are foolish for staying. I think the subforum could be useful. or the person telling others that they are foolish for staying can just shut her/his big mouth up.  |
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ModHatter
Moderator 
What kind of mad are you?
Posts: 65
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Post by ModHatter on Apr 29, 2018 16:32:54 GMT -5
Thanks for the suggestion and the comments. We have a running list of improvements we'd like to make, but this would be one of the simplest. I've passed it along for moderator discussion.
Any naming suggestions for the section?
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Post by choosinghappy on Apr 29, 2018 18:29:31 GMT -5
Even if this figure is correct, we can see that many MANY more than 1% choose to stay despite the odds. And I agree with a previous comment on another thread that many likely choose not to post to avoid receiving advise or comments implying that they are foolish for staying. I think the subforum could be useful. or the person telling others that they are foolish for staying can just shut her/his big mouth up. Ok that’s not where I was going with that. I think it’s important to hear everyone’s opinions based on their experiences, it’s just usually better received if delivered with some tact and awareness that not everyone thinks the same way. |
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Post by WindSister on Apr 29, 2018 19:45:55 GMT -5
Even if this figure is correct, we can see that many MANY more than 1% choose to stay despite the odds. And I agree with a previous comment on another thread that many likely choose not to post to avoid receiving advise or comments implying that they are foolish for staying. I think the subforum could be useful. or the person telling others that they are foolish for staying can just shut her/his big mouth up. I am sure you were just kidding.. maybe?! Lol. But, I feel compelled to respond.  I can't quite pinpoint it, but...... I'm thinking part of how one ends up in a SM in the first place might, maybe, it's a possibility, has to do with not being able to take any conflict whatsoever. I don't really know. I just think there could be some kind of correlation. My biker sisters, I am LOVING THEM, say "Woman Up" a lot. It means know yourself. Connect with yourself. Stop being a doormat. The world won't bend to our will because we want it to. It doesn't mean "be a bitch," but it means stop playing victim. Do the right thing, even when it's hard. Now, from that, it's all a matter of perspective of "what the right thing " is in any given situation. In the ILIASM world, maybe staying IS the "right thing" for someone. So, fine. OWN THAT. Woman (or Man) Up and own that choice. What gets the advise flowing, the challenging to thoughts rolling on the keyboard, is when someone is believing they can change their spouse, they "deserve" different from what they are getting, or they waffle. A good therapist challenges thoughts, doesn't just agree with all you say. I think that's what goes on here. Sorry for rambling, we had a Sunday Funday, the Mike's hards are tasting fine! Lol. |
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