|
|
Post by baza on Oct 6, 2019 23:02:45 GMT -5
All members who have been out of their ILIASM deal for at least a year are invited to vote in the poll, and make a comment if they so desire.
(This same poll was done in September 2018)
Interested to see if the results differ this time around
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Oct 6, 2019 23:05:19 GMT -5
I've been out since October 2009 and I voted "yes".
|
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Oct 7, 2019 7:20:11 GMT -5
My divorce was "finalized" this month, a year ago.
I need to put that in quotes because the financial ramifications will drag on for a while. I am much happier.
|
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Oct 7, 2019 7:52:56 GMT -5
The minute I decided to divorce I radiated so much happiness that acquaintances asked why I was beaming.
It has been 7 years since that decision, 6 years since my divorce was final. I continue to be much, much happier than I was in my marriageZ
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Oct 7, 2019 17:44:07 GMT -5
I have been out 3 and 1/2 yrs. I am pretty much at the same state of happiness I was last yr. So no change. But what I am is far less stressed and frustrated because I couldn't change the marriage dynamic long term, which meant I couldn't do anything about the probable divorce I saw coming down the pike. Since it's been so long I didn't vote.
|
|
|
|
Post by misssunnybunny on Oct 7, 2019 18:04:26 GMT -5
I answered "yes." I've been out 6 years, overall life is much better than when in the SM
|
|
|
|
Post by Apocrypha on Oct 8, 2019 11:17:53 GMT -5
I was devastated when we split. Due to the kids, I had to see her a lot - a close separation.
I felt best, the less contact I had.
Gestures toward "family" stuff were the hardest of all - trying to do things as a family.
It took about a year or more for my romantic "investment" to dissipate enough to see her as a normal person.
For the next 3-4 years after (so far), things became remarkably easier for me - after that point.
|
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Oct 8, 2019 11:36:54 GMT -5
I was devastated when we split. Due to the kids, I had to see her a lot - a close separation. I felt best, the less contact I had. Gestures toward "family" stuff were the hardest of all - trying to do things as a family. It took about a year or more for my romantic "investment" to dissipate enough to see her as a normal person. For the next 3-4 years after (so far), things became remarkably easier for me - after that point. Thank you for this- it helps put things into perspective for me. |
|
|
|
Post by choosinghappy on Oct 8, 2019 15:32:18 GMT -5
I can’t see the poll or vote because I’m replying through tapatalk but I gather it’s asking if you are happier now after leaving than you were in your SM? If that’s the question then my answer is a resounding “YES”. I feel like this quote sums it up perfectly.  |
|
|
|
Post by northstarmom on Oct 8, 2019 15:43:48 GMT -5
What choosing happy said! I didn’t realize how much emotional weight I was carrying til I left the marriage. What a relief!
|
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Oct 8, 2019 16:02:55 GMT -5
I cannot vote in this poll as I have been out only 9 months. However I wholeheartedly agree with the points above. I am much, much happier already. No new romance, I am not ready for that and not seeking one. I don’t need it to be happier. Just the relief of shedding the pretence of a M and acknowledging the emotional vacuum for what it was has been enough to lift my mood. I am more myself, less burdened, lighter, brighter and look forward to the future confident in my own skin. I did not realise when these characteristics left me, but I have sure recognised their return. Had I been out a year it would be a full fat YES from me.
|
|
|
|
Post by tamara68 on Oct 9, 2019 6:42:36 GMT -5
I have left my sexless marriage 3 years ago. My divorce was final in Februari 2018.
|
|
|
|
Post by worksforme2 on Oct 9, 2019 7:29:24 GMT -5
I have left my sexless marriage 3 years ago. My divorce was final in Februari 2018. Thanks for dropping in again tamara68. It's been a while. If you feel so inclined how about an update on your new home and partner, for those still doubting that things can be a lot better in Opposite Land. |
|
|
|
Post by tamara68 on Oct 9, 2019 7:45:30 GMT -5
I have left my sexless marriage 3 years ago. My divorce was final in Februari 2018. Thanks for dropping in again tamara68. It's been a while. If you feel so inclined how about an update on your new home and partner, for those still doubting that things can be a lot better in Opposite Land. Thanks, I will give an update later :-) |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Oct 9, 2019 8:40:20 GMT -5
YES! Come this March it will be 2 years.
Happier with myself, my new relationship, my new job, a place of my own, etc...
Not happy with my children. There's a lot of parental alienation going on. Another part of divorcing a manipulative controller. I will likely be going back to court again. ( (sadly it revolves around money and control)
|
|
