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Post by tamara68 on Nov 20, 2019 20:05:10 GMT -5
Update Tamara Since about 6 weeks, I live together with my friend H. Before that we were together every weekend. Now we are together every day. It is going well. I feel happy when he shouts "Honey, I'm Home!!!" when he opens the door. We have plenty of sex. Maybe even a bit much. It surprised me a little when H initiated sex every day for several weeks. It turned out that he thought that that was what I expected. He didn't want to disappoint me - knowing my history with my ex. Now we have sex 'only' 4 or 5 times a week. A little bit of kinkiness is usually involved. We have a room that is going to be our play room, but for now it is still a junk room. We still don't have been able to get internet or tv at home. So we have been watching downloaded series lately. Like True Blood. Great series, very kinky. It inspires H to bite my neck while watching together. we have had a few small arguments, and surprisingly, they were good for us. We solved a few misunderstandings with these arguments and afterwards we felt better. So very different from arguments with my ex. They have never solved anything. It is good to experience that things can be different with the right person. Our house is still very messy. Progress is slow, due to us both feeling tired and other things. But eventually it will be finished. I still often feel sad about my daughter, but it isn't that intense anymore as it has been. I hope she is okay and I hope she will manage to become independent and seek contact with me again when she is ready for that. It will be up to her.  Is this supposed to be a picture of a mess? Come visit my house. My wife refuses to clean up after herself. She does not hang up clothes. They are a pile in her closet. Sex everyday!? I’d go for sex every month if I could get it. This really makes me want to cry. I am sorry if my update makes you cry. I have been without any sex for 14 years in my sexless marriage. And at the time I thought it would never end. I was totally stuck. But eventually I did get out. Don't give up. Btw the photo is of the least messy part of the house. |
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Post by saarinista on Nov 21, 2019 13:49:25 GMT -5
YES! Come this March it will be 2 years. Happier with myself, my new relationship, my new job, a place of my own, etc... Not happy with my children. There’s a lot of parental alienation going on. Another part of divorcing a manipulative controller. I will likely be going back to court again. ( (sadly it revolves around money and control) This is what I worry about. I believe my wife will use the children as pawns. She already teaches them to lie to me. I don’t know what happened. I used to think I had the best woman in the worlld. A thought-whether you stay in your marriage or not, your wife may well continue to encourage your a children to lie to you. In that case, even if you STAY in your SM you will have a lousy relationship with your kids. But that might be better than what you will have if you LEAVE. Or it might not. |
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Post by shamwow on Nov 26, 2019 7:53:50 GMT -5
Is this supposed to be a picture of a mess? Come visit my house. My wife refuses to clean up after herself. She does not hang up clothes. They are a pile in her closet. Sex everyday!? I’d go for sex every month if I could get it. This really makes me want to cry. I am sorry if my update makes you cry. I have been without any sex for 14 years in my sexless marriage. And at the time I thought it would never end. I was totally stuck. But eventually I did get out. Don't give up. Btw the photo is of the least messy part of the house. On more than one occasion my son and I had to go around the house killing hundreds (300-400... We counted) flies. My ex did tend to let things go. This place looks pretty neat and tidy to me by comparison lol |
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Post by novembercomingfire on Dec 14, 2019 8:39:04 GMT -5
Nope, not at all.
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Post by tinymouse on Dec 23, 2019 20:49:25 GMT -5
that's a mess? I'd kill for my place to be that "messy". I actually dud pretty good and cleaned up the common area semi-decently on Friday. Today I started on the office. It has become my stash room. I has been mostly cleaned on occasions but never truly organized. The closet is a disaster.
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Post by greatcoastal on Dec 27, 2019 10:12:26 GMT -5
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Post by thebaffledking on Dec 27, 2019 17:48:10 GMT -5
Yes, as of June 2018. To quote Pete Rose, getting out was like walking through hell in a gasoline suit. But I kept walking because I knew if I stopped I'd burst into flames and that would have been The End. Best thing I ever did for myself, my life, my soul, my heart, my body, everything. I am very very happy with where I am right now and life is looking good!
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Post by richfairy72 on Jan 3, 2020 5:49:30 GMT -5
I love popping back here to remind myself of how lucky I am now to be out. I found this forum 3 years ago over Christmas time and it certainly changed my life in so many ways. I finally had people who understood what I was going through and it opened my eyes to what a shitty marriage I had. i left in March 2017 (my 4th attempt) and with some fantastic support from on here, friends and counsellors I finally got out! i get better year on year - I felt happier within weeks of leaving despite a horrible divorce from a narcissist and his even more narcissistic mother. It takes time to unpick everything and work through the feelings of guilt, grief and readjustment. So, wherever you are in the process of being stuck in an SM/deciding to leave Or stay/having left, my advice is to BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Take baby steps and build yourself up to be the best version of you that you can be. And.....keep reading this forum, it truly is a lifesaver.... Also....I have also found love again. I am so grateful every day that I made it out, and even more grateful that endthegame eventually made it out. He has shown me what a proper, kind, loving man is like and how easy a ‘normal’ relationship can be. We plan to grow old disgracefully together. Three years ago I felt like my life was over, but only once I left did I become free to love myself no matter what shit life throws my way. And boy, EVERYTHING is easier without a dysfunctional partner holding me back! and for the record my teenage kids are calmer and happier. Any guilt I felt on their behalf was misguided. They are definitely better than living with an unhappy mother and dysfunctional father. |
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Post by baza on Apr 9, 2021 0:10:58 GMT -5
Just giving this a bump up due to (April 2021) interest in the thread.
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Post by shamwow on Apr 9, 2021 13:14:34 GMT -5
Just giving this a bump up due to (April 2021) interest in the thread. Well then I'd like to revise my answer to the poll... It is not Yes anymore.... It is Fuck Yes.... And that's a couple more years out. |
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Post by angeleyes65 on Apr 10, 2021 12:53:50 GMT -5
Just giving this a bump up due to (April 2021) interest in the thread. Been out since June off 2017 my boyfriend June of 2018. I don't know what the poll was but definitely we are glad we left. Happier than we have ever been. And regret nothing but the best wasted years that we stayed when we should have left.. hindsight and all that. |
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Post by sadkat on Apr 10, 2021 22:19:45 GMT -5
I've been out for 18 months. I’m much happier than I’ve been for quite some time. I still have wistful moments when I think about the life I was building. But it was absolutely with the wrong companion. I’m relearning how to live my life as a single person, focusing on what is important to me. I have no regrets over leaving my M. I know it had to be done.
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Post by elynne on Apr 11, 2021 15:27:29 GMT -5
Just giving this a bump up due to (April 2021) interest in the thread. Been out since August 2019. Life is immeasurably better. Kids are happier, I’m happier. I have a boyfriend who is kind, loving and absolutely rocks my world in bed. The ex remains a self-centered asshole. He’s manipulative and dishonest. I still have to interact with him with co-parenting. So I do my best to keep things polite and matter of fact and to not share anything personal with him. |
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Post by isthisit on Apr 11, 2021 16:47:04 GMT -5
I have been out since January 2019 and we are all doing fine. My children have accepted our separation and H finally seems to be getting there.
I am like a different person to the fearful, sad and ground down woman I was. I no longer dread my future, and at times can feel my sparkle returning. I am not sure that I am ready for another relationship at the moment. It’s enough for me to be free from that marriage. I am working on coming to terms with what happened and my choices and actions and that’s enough for now. I read it takes a year for every five of marriage. That might be complete rubbish, but it feels a good move for me to take my time to be a better me at the end of it.
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Post by greatcoastal on Apr 11, 2021 19:55:37 GMT -5
Just giving this a bump up due to (April 2021) interest in the thread. Been out since August 2019. Life is immeasurably better. Kids are happier, I’m happier. I have a boyfriend who is kind, loving and absolutely rocks my world in bed. The ex remains a self-centered asshole. He’s manipulative and dishonest. I still have to interact with him with co-parenting. So I do my best to keep things polite and matter of fact and to not share anything personal with him. Whenever I see one of your posts I wonder how it's going? Especially your daughters, and how much you have now "seen the truth" about your ex! Glad to hear that you all re happier!! |
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