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Post by scullion on Nov 15, 2020 1:40:37 GMT -5
I have known so many women as above why dont these woman find a man of there own
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Post by petrushka on Nov 15, 2020 2:14:16 GMT -5
Well you know what they say: A hard man may be good to find, but a good man is hard to find.
(personally I think hard men are a bad idea for a relationship, but hey)
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Post by jerri on Nov 15, 2020 3:08:24 GMT -5
Hear, hear! Especially after date night! 😹My husband was pretending to be asleep! What a goof!💤
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Post by deadzone75 on Nov 15, 2020 3:43:37 GMT -5
*sigh*
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Post by lessingham on Nov 15, 2020 4:53:20 GMT -5
Good question. I suspect the answer is probably due to women being more picky than men? Many many years ago I ended up on a pub crawl with a soldier, as you do. He was hitting on any woman with a pulse. He eventually staggered off with a plain and drunk woman, and plain was being generous. I said something like I would not want to kiss her, never mind anything else. He pushed me to the wall and snarled, "never, ever, pass on sex. Ever!" I doubt any woman having that philosophy.
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timedelay
Full Member
Posts: 153
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by timedelay on Nov 15, 2020 5:01:51 GMT -5
Good question. I suspect the answer is probably due to women being more picky than men? Many many years ago I ended up on a pub crawl with a soldier, as you do. He was hitting on any woman with a pulse. He eventually staggered off with a plain and drunk woman, and plain was being generous. I said something like I would not want to kiss her, never mind anything else. He pushed me to the wall and snarled, "never, ever, pass on sex. Ever!" I doubt any woman having that philosophy. They might after a decade or two of no sex lessingham!
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timedelay
Full Member
Posts: 153
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by timedelay on Nov 15, 2020 5:04:19 GMT -5
I have known so many women as above why dont these woman find a man of there own I've known exactly zero women "as above" so haven't a clue here.
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Post by worksforme2 on Nov 15, 2020 8:26:01 GMT -5
scullion seems to think we are mind readers and can therefore easily fathom this rambling post. fortunately scullion is somewhat correct. reading father in sexless marriage I see scullion is a male, so I have to wonder what his grip is?
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Post by saarinista on Nov 15, 2020 12:25:29 GMT -5
I find this whole thread confusing. Not sure what anyone wants. 🤔
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Post by TMD on Nov 15, 2020 13:33:50 GMT -5
I find this whole thread confusing. Not sure what anyone wants. 🤔  "Rather have sex with married man than no sex at all... have known so many women as above why dont these woman find a man of there own." What he's trying to say is: The women he knows would rather have sex with a married man. Why do that? Why not go get a single man of their own and not shag someone's husband. I interpret it the same way. Having been a horrible, lying, immoral adulteress (if you know me, you know I’m using dry wit and irony because I read judgment in Scullion’s query). I could be wrong and would much rather the OP further explain themself, than entertain the OP with an unmerited explanation, justification.
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Post by TMD on Nov 15, 2020 13:38:48 GMT -5
 "Rather have sex with married man than no sex at all... have known so many women as above why dont these woman find a man of there own." What he's trying to say is: The women he knows would rather have sex with a married man. Why do that? Why not go get a single man of their own and not shag someone's husband. I interpret it the same way. Having been a horrible, lying, immoral adulteress (if you know me, you know I’m using dry wit and irony because I read judgment in Scullion’s query). I could be wrong and would much rather the OP further explain themself, than entertain the OP with an unmerited explanation, justification, because I’m not convinced that the OP is open to understanding. That said, maybe the OP is saying that they would prefer to have sex with a married man? Please clarify! Inquiring minds want to know.
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Post by jerri on Nov 15, 2020 15:08:13 GMT -5
I can tell you that hormones take over and people do it because of acceptance. Meaning all sorts of people are missing xyz at home.
I won't fault anyone because the default should be if one doesn't nurture their mate at home, they no longer have the right to say they should not get sex elsewhere.
I am in another R with a married man who is sexless. My H knows what I do, but these situations are more complex underneath the surface. Society has it backwards and would only understand if they were sexless.
Not trying to invalidate you. Just trying to give insight.
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Post by mirrororchid on Nov 16, 2020 7:30:34 GMT -5
scullion seems to think we are mind readers and can therefore easily fathom this rambling post. fortunately scullion is somewhat correct. reading father in sexless marriage I see scullion is a male, so I have to wonder what his grip is? ILIASM is about sexless marriage. This post makes me think of single fellas who are frustrated at women that bed married men and reject "available" ones. As Jerri suggested, there's a point at which women do not want to do without. A married fella may be an uncomplicated way to scratch an itch. They aren't considered good prospects for a long term relationship, the marriage being a deal breaker since they want "one of their own", as the OP seems to think they should. Married men may be seen as "tested and approved" and have a lot to lose if they get out of line or make unreasonable demands. I take exception with the phrase "a man of their own". With "own" being the operative word. It's unclear to me that this ubiquitous assumption is wise for everyone. Along with the ironclad bonds of matrimony can come a reckless complacency. A person you own need not be treated well. A prospect, a girl/boyfriend, must be cared for and tended. Excessive comfort in a relationship can be an invitation to neglect. This pairing requirement pressures unfit partners into marriage. Some would prefer solitude if only society didn't deem such preferences as a sign of defect. Some would be better off deliberately participating in multiple couples. Some may be their best when those pairs overlap or even merge into something society isn't ready for, but the participants are. The assumption that everyone falls into the "one man, one woman" camp took a profound blow about a decade ago. We got rid of the gender part of that conventional "wisdom". Yet the number part is still held to be a law of the universe, rather than a similarly popular delusion. Rather than ask women to seek out "a man of their own", it is anathema to suggest they find "some men to share". Give it ten more years.
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Post by ironhamster on Nov 16, 2020 11:59:49 GMT -5
The me of five years ago would be very judgemental of who I am today.
My wife refused to fulfill my needs. My now girlfriend's husband refused to fulfill her needs. In any other situation, nobody would raise an eyebrow. If she needed her car's oil changed and I needed a tasty meal packed for work, nobody would see that exchange as wrong, as if my wife could not have packed a lunch for me and her husband could not have turned a wrench but refused to do so. Why should sexual intimacy be the one thing people frown on when we go outside the relationship to get our needs met?
It doesn't matter if the woman is married or the husband is married. The spouse is never theirs. It's only their turn. If they give up their turn it's somebody else's turn, next.
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Post by Apocrypha on Nov 17, 2020 10:19:06 GMT -5
People have sex with unavailable partners sometimes because they want an external baked-in limit to the relationship rather than full investment. Also, to some degree, vetting has already taken place with a married partner - it's an imperfect shortcut to fast intimacy if another woman has already picked someone. In the same way, people might sooner get in line to a busy restaurant in Chinatown than go to the empty seated one next door.
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