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Post by deleted on Dec 6, 2020 19:47:19 GMT -5
Where do I find these women?
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Post by ironhamster on Dec 23, 2020 3:16:23 GMT -5
Where do I find these women? Tinder, Ashley Madison, grocery stores, coffee shops, yoga class, ...
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Post by sweetplumeria on Jan 8, 2021 3:54:27 GMT -5
I learned there is a misguided notion that married people are "cleaner" than single people. As in, less possibilities of getting an STD/STI.
Let's be clear, this is not my philosophy but rather learned from people interested in having sex with me, As a married person.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 8, 2021 6:59:52 GMT -5
I learned there is a misguided notion that married people are "cleaner" than single people. As in, less possibilities of getting an STD/STI. Let's be clear, this is not my philosophy but rather learned from people interested in having sex with me, As a married person. I'd have several questions. How much cleaner? Which married people? The married people who would agree to an affair and get offers are a select group. Are they open and might be forgiven if they accidently bring home crabs? Or are they secretly non-monogamous ("cheating") and not wrapping up could mean losing half their house? Some studies indicate condom use declines when their partner is physically attractive. In a similar vein, attractive men who care more about pleasure than safety have a better shot at getting what they want, and catching an STD. Also similarly, women may be hesitant to suggest safety, assuming attractive men will find even the question a turnoff. Some hard data would be fun to validate any of these hypotheses. By accident I found studies indicating how you're open might matter. Swingers are less clean. Maybe polyamorists are cleaner out of caring concern for partner's health? Or maybe they have fewer partners because they invest time/love in each one? One study indicates the longer they've been swinging, the more likely they have an STD. So, newlyweds cleaner than established spouses. www.google.com/search?ei=WEb4X4ujJazl5gLjgJvYBQ&q=std+swingers+versus+&oq=std+swingers+versus+&gs_lcp=CgZwc3ktYWIQA1DmZFjmZGCQeGgAcAB4AIABpwSIAb4FkgEFMi41LTGYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6wAEB&sclient=psy-ab&ved=0ahUKEwiLr5b7oYzuAhWsslkKHWPABlsQ4dUDCA0&uact=5www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=117499"swingers -- heterosexual adults who engage in partner swapping or attend sex clubs for couples -- have rates of sexually transmitted diseases comparable to teenagers and gay or bisexual men, both considered high-risk groups for catching herpes, HIV and chlamydia, among other infections." "About 10.4% of male swingers over age 45 had chlamydia and/or gonorrhea, compared to only 2.4% of other male heterosexuals. ...For women swingers over 45, nearly 18% had chlamydia, compared to 4% of other heterosexual women and less than 3% of prostitutes." So, for at least these spouses, they're a lot "dirtier." There are married prostitutes, but the conventional wisdom might suggest sluts (the actual literal kind) are a safer than average rando.
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Post by Apocrypha on Jan 8, 2021 9:17:57 GMT -5
"swingers -- heterosexual adults who engage in partner swapping or attend sex clubs for couples -- have rates of sexually transmitted diseases comparable to teenagers and gay or bisexual men, both considered high-risk groups for catching herpes, HIV and chlamydia, among other infections." "About 10.4% of male swingers over age 45 had chlamydia and/or gonorrhea, compared to only 2.4% of other male heterosexuals. ...For women swingers over 45, nearly 18% had chlamydia, compared to 4% of other heterosexual women and less than 3% of prostitutes." From my own observation of this scene, this is an incredible result and I'd look closely at the methodology. I've certainly seen studies (before I entered that scene temporarily) that contradict it. Part of the issue in the group pertains to the question you posed up thread: Which swingers? There are more than one type, and there are many who attend the clubs and participate otherwise in the community, but do not participate in sexual activity, or who use these clubs to select nearly monogamous partners. In my own period as a married non-monogamous person attending one of these clubs, I found the level of safety with strangers to be quite high, and (particularly in the under 40 swingers) a habit of courtship that wasn't too dissimilar to dating (much to the chagrin of the older over 50+ swingers, who tended to want to get down to business. I actually had far fewer partners across a year than I have had as a single person - by a long shot. A lot of "swingers" - and I'd say the majority where I'm from - don't just fall into bed with anyone, and often don't even have sex at the clubs, or they attend with their married partner and have sex with their spouse. Sexual safety - at least in the club situation where it may be observed by others in the community - is a prominent concern - among those who do switch partners. No one wants to be branded as unsafe. Behind closed doors, who knows?
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Post by worksforme2 on Jan 8, 2021 12:05:49 GMT -5
I learned there is a misguided notion that married people are "cleaner" than single people. As in, less possibilities of getting an STD/STI. Let's be clear, this is not my philosophy but rather learned from people interested in having sex with me, As a married person. What makes you say this falls in the column of "misguided notions"? One single man's take on this. I have no studies to quote regarding the accuracy of my thoughts on this. When I was in my "married woman " phase I had sex with a # (6-8) of women in this category. And honestly I didn't give std's any thought. I had known most of these women for years so I felt comfortable engaging sexually with them, though in hindsight that seems reckless since I now know a couple of their husbands were also active outside the marriage. My thoughts are that most married women are far more selective than their single sisters when it comes to sexual activities. Married women generally have more to loose . If I had to guess as an average, I would say sex between single couples often takes place after 3 to 5 dates. Sex between married individuals more often takes many months or years to happen. (again I man's experience and numerous articles I have read) I have been out of the sex with someone else's wife game for some time, but everything else being equal, if I wanted to lower the odds of catching an std I would put my money on the married woman every time.
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Post by carl on Jan 8, 2021 20:08:34 GMT -5
The me of five years ago would be very judgemental of who I am today. My wife refused to fulfill my needs. My now girlfriend's husband refused to fulfill her needs. In any other situation, nobody would raise an eyebrow. If she needed her car's oil changed and I needed a tasty meal packed for work, nobody would see that exchange as wrong, as if my wife could not have packed a lunch for me and her husband could not have turned a wrench but refused to do so. Why should sexual intimacy be the one thing people frown on when we go outside the relationship to get our needs met? It doesn't matter if the woman is married or the husband is married. The spouse is never theirs. It's only their turn. If they give up their turn it's somebody else's turn, next. Just my opinion, but I agree that where a persons needs are not being met in a marriage then its a good thing to get those needs met outside marriage. The statement however doesn’t say whether the married man is sexless or not.
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Post by ironhamster on Jan 8, 2021 20:25:41 GMT -5
The me of five years ago would be very judgemental of who I am today. My wife refused to fulfill my needs. My now girlfriend's husband refused to fulfill her needs. In any other situation, nobody would raise an eyebrow. If she needed her car's oil changed and I needed a tasty meal packed for work, nobody would see that exchange as wrong, as if my wife could not have packed a lunch for me and her husband could not have turned a wrench but refused to do so. Why should sexual intimacy be the one thing people frown on when we go outside the relationship to get our needs met? It doesn't matter if the woman is married or the husband is married. The spouse is never theirs. It's only their turn. If they give up their turn it's somebody else's turn, next. Just my opinion, but I agree that where a persons needs are not being met in a marriage then its a good thing to get those needs met outside marriage. The statement however doesn’t say whether the married man is sexless or not. Her husband was sexless by his choice. Update: he is in a new relationship, now. I have no idea if he is sexually active with his new girlfriend. I suspect not.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 11, 2021 6:59:16 GMT -5
"swingers -- heterosexual adults who engage in partner swapping or attend sex clubs for couples -- have rates of sexually transmitted diseases comparable to teenagers and gay or bisexual men, both considered high-risk groups for catching herpes, HIV and chlamydia, among other infections." "About 10.4% of male swingers over age 45 had chlamydia and/or gonorrhea, compared to only 2.4% of other male heterosexuals. ...For women swingers over 45, nearly 18% had chlamydia, compared to 4% of other heterosexual women and less than 3% of prostitutes." From my own observation of this scene, this is an incredible result and I'd look closely at the methodology. I've certainly seen studies (before I entered that scene temporarily) that contradict it. Part of the issue in the group pertains to the question you posed up thread: Which swingers? There are more than one type, and there are many who attend the clubs and participate otherwise in the community, but do not participate in sexual activity, or who use these clubs to select nearly monogamous partners. In my own period as a married non-monogamous person attending one of these clubs, I found the level of safety with strangers to be quite high, and (particularly in the under 40 swingers) a habit of courtship that wasn't too dissimilar to dating (much to the chagrin of the older over 50+ swingers, who tended to want to get down to business. I actually had far fewer partners across a year than I have had as a single person - by a long shot. A lot of "swingers" - and I'd say the majority where I'm from - don't just fall into bed with anyone, and often don't even have sex at the clubs, or they attend with their married partner and have sex with their spouse. Sexual safety - at least in the club situation where it may be observed by others in the community - is a prominent concern - among those who do switch partners. No one wants to be branded as unsafe. Behind closed doors, who knows? The highest stat 18% of women over 45 doesn't contradict you. Most swingers are safe. The study also acknowledges, people getting tested are likelier to be positive than the general population, so the worst stat isn't that damning. The only point is the data suggests married people can be dirtier than single. The OP's original premise. We agree that one can surely identify much more data to winnow out riskier sex. Your observations are consistent with everything I've heard. One of the podcasts I've listened to says polyamory is like monogamy, just more of it. Some of those polyamorists visit swinger clubs and disappoint many of those looking for just a "wild night".
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