Post by jerri on Dec 10, 2020 4:46:26 GMT -5
This was directed to us though there may not be that many Asexuals my H tried to act that way.
I often wondered if there were any parallels between Asexuals and sexless marriges.
Let me know if you find some gems. The more I read the more I think. YIKES!
To Sexual Partners thread
I tried and tried to believe this bs and it just dulled my libido but I learned for sex.
Quote
Orbit
Pablo: We can now focus on why we have stuck together for 6 years despite the difficulties about sex - in particular our deep rooted friendship and understanding.
This brought tears to my eyes.
In a culture that often presents 'great sex' as the evidence or the epitome of a good relationship, asexuals would seem incapable of such intimacy and devotion.
However, it's becoming more obvious to those of us living with asexuality (sexuals and asexuals) that while sex is important for the sexual, the relationship isn't dependant on it and there are many other ways to be intimate and express committed love.
user1 said:
Have any asexuals here, particularly women, tried testosterone supplementation? If so, what were the results?
I would just like to point out that while doing so might result in a more active sex drive, this will not create the ability to experience sexual attraction. There are many people on this site that have active sxe drives and no sexual attraction. And some of us, men and women, have had our hormones tested only to find out that they are 100% normal. Furthermore, I'd like to caution anyone, particularly women, from taking testosterone supplements without talking to a doc first, as they can have nasty side effects (such as a sex drive).
I often wondered if there were any parallels between Asexuals and sexless marriges.
Let me know if you find some gems. The more I read the more I think. YIKES!
To Sexual Partners thread
I tried and tried to believe this bs and it just dulled my libido but I learned for sex.
Orbit
Pablo: We can now focus on why we have stuck together for 6 years despite the difficulties about sex - in particular our deep rooted friendship and understanding.
This brought tears to my eyes.
In a culture that often presents 'great sex' as the evidence or the epitome of a good relationship, asexuals would seem incapable of such intimacy and devotion.
However, it's becoming more obvious to those of us living with asexuality (sexuals and asexuals) that while sex is important for the sexual, the relationship isn't dependant on it and there are many other ways to be intimate and express committed love.
Guest new guy35
I am very sexual and my wife is asexual (opposites attract).
I thought for a time, I was not being loving enough to get her 'in the mood', I tried more romance, I tried more gifts, I tried being especially kind and giving to help her feel more secure in our relationship, I tried and tried because I didn't understand asexuality. I thought for a while that it was just because I was a guy and guys want sex all the time while women are different that way. I thought she was being pure and stubborn against my desire on purpose.
Due to all the times sexual pleasure has been denied to me by my sexy wife, I have felt rejected, unwanted, dissatisfied, resistable (not pleasant), angry, sad, abandoned, frustrated, spiteful, and tempted to get sex elsewhere (have not done so). It is so hard for me to be with her at times when I feel sex would be so natural only to have her ignore the whole topic. It actually hurts to be put in touch with my own sexuality so much when I am not receiving the physical contact from her I desire.
Before we got married, she acted sexual to please me. After we got married, her sex drive has gotten almost non-existent, so at times I feel tricked into marriage. I also feel sometimes that she is being asexual to punish me for something I did wrong. Now, I realize she and I are on opposite sides of the bell curve when it comes to sex drive and I am trying to deal with it by obstaining (just as she deals with my sexuality by having sex once in a while).
I also thought sex was central to a relationship and I am learning there are other factors that make our relationship intimate. I am trying to change my mind in my need for sexual contact as validation/ acknowledgement. It is difficult when most TV and movies depict a guy having sex as his reward for being a winner. No sex, feels like a punishment for being a loser at times. Our culture pushes sex a lot as the norm so not having any feels like I don't get to play like the others do.
It is so hard to find a person that matches what we want in a partner on every level . I searched for 2o years before finally setttling down. My wife has most things I need and a strong sexual attraction just isn't one of them. I feel secure when other guys come after her though. I do not always know what to do when the desire for sex hits me and doesn't hit her. She and I talk about so many other things but sex isn't one of them (oddly?) She claims she enjoys it and then doesn't want any. So what am I supposed to do?
Had she been more honest with me (and herself) about it or I had been less confident in my ability to make her 'want sex', we might not have gotten married. Perhaps, it is how love is for us. We love each other despite our major differences.
A sexy, asexual woman supports the saying, "what you see isn't always what you get."
I am very sexual and my wife is asexual (opposites attract).
I thought for a time, I was not being loving enough to get her 'in the mood', I tried more romance, I tried more gifts, I tried being especially kind and giving to help her feel more secure in our relationship, I tried and tried because I didn't understand asexuality. I thought for a while that it was just because I was a guy and guys want sex all the time while women are different that way. I thought she was being pure and stubborn against my desire on purpose.
Due to all the times sexual pleasure has been denied to me by my sexy wife, I have felt rejected, unwanted, dissatisfied, resistable (not pleasant), angry, sad, abandoned, frustrated, spiteful, and tempted to get sex elsewhere (have not done so). It is so hard for me to be with her at times when I feel sex would be so natural only to have her ignore the whole topic. It actually hurts to be put in touch with my own sexuality so much when I am not receiving the physical contact from her I desire.
Before we got married, she acted sexual to please me. After we got married, her sex drive has gotten almost non-existent, so at times I feel tricked into marriage. I also feel sometimes that she is being asexual to punish me for something I did wrong. Now, I realize she and I are on opposite sides of the bell curve when it comes to sex drive and I am trying to deal with it by obstaining (just as she deals with my sexuality by having sex once in a while).
I also thought sex was central to a relationship and I am learning there are other factors that make our relationship intimate. I am trying to change my mind in my need for sexual contact as validation/ acknowledgement. It is difficult when most TV and movies depict a guy having sex as his reward for being a winner. No sex, feels like a punishment for being a loser at times. Our culture pushes sex a lot as the norm so not having any feels like I don't get to play like the others do.
It is so hard to find a person that matches what we want in a partner on every level . I searched for 2o years before finally setttling down. My wife has most things I need and a strong sexual attraction just isn't one of them. I feel secure when other guys come after her though. I do not always know what to do when the desire for sex hits me and doesn't hit her. She and I talk about so many other things but sex isn't one of them (oddly?) She claims she enjoys it and then doesn't want any. So what am I supposed to do?
Had she been more honest with me (and herself) about it or I had been less confident in my ability to make her 'want sex', we might not have gotten married. Perhaps, it is how love is for us. We love each other despite our major differences.
A sexy, asexual woman supports the saying, "what you see isn't always what you get."
user1 said:
Have any asexuals here, particularly women, tried testosterone supplementation? If so, what were the results?
I would just like to point out that while doing so might result in a more active sex drive, this will not create the ability to experience sexual attraction. There are many people on this site that have active sxe drives and no sexual attraction. And some of us, men and women, have had our hormones tested only to find out that they are 100% normal. Furthermore, I'd like to caution anyone, particularly women, from taking testosterone supplements without talking to a doc first, as they can have nasty side effects (such as a sex drive).