lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 88 
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Oct 20, 2021 18:05:02 GMT -5
Well…congratulations on your relationship.
The way I look at it is marriage is give and take , just like single people have dry spells , marriages do too. Even If it’s him being selfish in that aspect, there are other areas and aspects where he makes up for it, although I don’t exactly think of it in that way. Not trying to make excuses for him or my decision or perceived lack of action at this time.
if and when it becomes intolerable, I’ll make the requisite changes. At this point in time I’m still working on making changes for the better and looking to re-kindle that desire and aspect of intimacy.
if/when I’m sure it’s futile I’ll decide whether or not it’s something I can live with . Masturbation gets old, and I don’t really want just a lover on the side, so it’s a life changing decision. , and I’m not there yet.
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Post by baza on Oct 20, 2021 19:26:23 GMT -5
As long as you are making a fully informed choice - based on the facts as they stand today - then you can't go too far wrong Sister lanieThe facts as they stand today will supply the road map forward for you. "Staying" is just as legitimate a choice as leaving. And whichever choice you make, it is imperative that you take ownership of it. |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 88
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Oct 25, 2021 19:24:02 GMT -5
I have jumped on over to the "I am Staying" board, as I have made my decision at present. I will continue to read here and may post occiasi0nally.  |
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Post by mirrororchid on Oct 26, 2021 4:01:28 GMT -5
I have jumped on over to the "I am Staying" board, as I have made my decision at present. I will continue to read here and may post occiasi0nally. The thread referred to, for convenience: iliasm.org/thread/5986/staying |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 88
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Oct 26, 2021 6:40:35 GMT -5
Thanks ~! mirrororchid |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 88
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 1, 2022 21:40:50 GMT -5
I chose to stay , and we continues our marriage counseling sessions. Some of those were very emotionally difficult. Net result: We sent out the old year with a bang ( quite literally). Our relationship and the way we communicate with and treat each other has shown marked improvement.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 3, 2022 6:55:05 GMT -5
I chose to stay , and we continues our marriage counseling sessions. Some of those were very emotionally difficult. Net result: We sent out the old year with a bang ( quite literally). Our relationship and the way we communicate with and treat each other has shown marked improvement. Not enough to just like this update. Have to scream " Hurray!": for you. |
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Post by catlover on Jan 3, 2022 14:25:58 GMT -5
I chose to stay , and we continues our marriage counseling sessions. Some of those were very emotionally difficult. Net result: We sent out the old year with a bang ( quite literally). Our relationship and the way we communicate with and treat each other has shown marked improvement. I am so jealous right now, dropped some broad hints (very) late on NYE, which got met with, shall we call it, a somewhat less than romantic response ME: "If you were wanting to start the New Year with a bang (or reasonable facsimile), now would be the time :-) :-) " HER: "On the toilet having more shite" Not a word spoken afterwards Hope springs eternal, but resentment carries on building. I should realise by now its a hopeless quest (fucking idiot!!!) |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 88
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 3, 2022 14:40:32 GMT -5
Aw…sorry cat lover. Definitely not the response you were wanting to hear. I remember some uncomofortable silences too, during g the rough spots. I hope your year goes better, whatever that may look like for you!
Me, I’m glowing but cautious, I don’t want a return to where we just came out of, and I know it will require effort from both of us. We also have a major change co
I got up, as he officially put in his retirement notice and will be home full time starting in a couple of months.
We’ll have some adjusting to do, for sure.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jan 4, 2022 5:22:31 GMT -5
...We also have a major change coming up, as he officially put in his retirement notice and will be home full time starting in a couple of months. We’ll have some adjusting to do, for sure. Maybe something you could talk about as it unfolds on the "Other Relationship Issues" Category? I hear gradual retirement is a commonly successful move. It hits you with excess time a bit at a time so you fill it up as it becomes available. Or perhaps he's already thought of major projects to tackle, productive and frivolous. Maybe some travel? |
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lanie
Junior Member
Posts: 88
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by lanie on Jan 4, 2022 18:31:09 GMT -5
Good idea mirrororchid! I’ll stRt a new thread over there, on other relationship issues.
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