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Post by frednsa on Dec 19, 2021 6:42:07 GMT -5
I KNOW ! I do. After over a half-century of ZERO passion with only "donation" sex. GET OUT if you can it doesn't get any better, only worse with menopause (otherwise known as a permission slip for avoidance). Sorry for negativity bu t I feel qualified to lecture on this subject
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creep
New Member
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Post by creep on Dec 19, 2021 13:39:28 GMT -5
I have faith that God will resolve this, somehow, but I don't know how. Maybe that means He resolves it by making me stronger. I just know I'm suffering and at a point where I at least need to reach out via an anonymous forum. At least so someone understands. “I prayed 20 years for my freedom but received no answer until I prayed with my legs” -Frederick Douglass Reminds me of the bit about “faith w/o works is dead.” Correct me if I’m wrong, y’all, but the only poor souls on this forum who have found a morsel of success were walking out the door (and not bluffing.) ?? atlantic you seem to be legally married to a spouse who is just as far away from 1 Corinthians 7 and the concept of “one flesh” as she is from giving you a BJ with a smile. I would question whether you two have ever been “equally yoked” or just licensed to “live in sin.” “What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Do you really believe God is consenting to such a marriage? Perhaps if she won’t listen, you should bring one or two others to talk sense into this situation. #justsayin |
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optima
Junior Member
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Post by optima on Dec 19, 2021 13:45:55 GMT -5
Fresh from a costly and acrimonious divorce my strong recommendation is to get out: it’s like a giant weight of gloom and repression and resentment has been lifted. I’ve learned it’s ok to desire sex, to love and like myself and value my own needs and that women do find me attractive, notwithstanding my ex’s harsh and protracted rejection and cheating.
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Starving…
Dec 20, 2021 1:42:40 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by heelots on Dec 20, 2021 1:42:40 GMT -5
I KNOW ! I do. After over a half-century of ZERO passion with only "donation" sex. GET OUT if you can it doesn't get any better, only worse with menopause (otherwise known as a permission slip for avoidance). Sorry for negativity bu t I feel qualified to lecture on this subject AMEN! |
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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 20, 2021 5:33:56 GMT -5
I have faith that God will resolve this, somehow, but I don't know how. Maybe that means He resolves it by making me stronger. I just know I'm suffering and at a point where I at least need to reach out via an anonymous forum. At least so someone understands. “I prayed 20 years for my freedom but received no answer until I prayed with my legs” -Frederick Douglass Reminds me of the bit about “faith w/o works is dead.” Correct me if I’m wrong, y’all, but the only poor souls on this forum who have found a morsel of success were walking out the door (and not bluffing.) ?? atlantic ... Do you really believe God is consenting to such a marriage? Perhaps if she won’t listen, you should bring one or two others to talk sense into this situation. My wife reset December 2019 after I began dating a married woman and explained I would do so because nigh-celibacy wasn't okay. I planned to break the same vow she did when she forsook all, rather than all others. I had no intention of leaving her, though. I could still love, honor, and cherish her even if I no longer forsook all others. I was just changing one single word of our vows, just like she did. Fair enough, right? She wanted to keep me monogamous, so she stepped up. My wife may have seen my solution as "walking out", but it's not technically so. At two years, I know even long resets can break. Fair warning, the dating world may be less kind to those that consider my path. ILIASM member csl covers the topic of counseling in a Christian context in his fourth essay of the Addressing Sexless Marriage series: curmudgeonlylibrarian.wordpress.com/2015/04/25/addressing-the-sexless-marriage-part-4/It can apply to anyone of faith, though. Just substitute in "imam" or "rabbi" where he says "pastor" or even a secular counselor or therapist. An audio version is at: podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5yZWRjaXJjbGUuY29tLzhhMWU4OTMyLTg4ZTgtNDkyZi1iOWYwLWU0M2MzNmQyMDIyYw/episode/ZjQ2MTk5YmItZmNiOS00ZGI1LWE4MGUtNTY0ZDU2ZDhlM2M4?sa=X&ved=0CAUQkfYCahcKEwjIsL_ek_L0AhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQAQ |
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Post by h on Jan 3, 2022 12:15:56 GMT -5
Get out if you can. It won't get better. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be to get out.
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Post by rejected101 on Feb 27, 2022 16:09:44 GMT -5
atlantic, you may want to do some research on asexuality. Asexuality is an overlooked sexual orientation. Just like straight people have no interest in people of the same sex, asexual people don't have any sexual interest in anyone. This means, through no fault of their own, they are destined to be a sexual disappointment to anyone in any relationship where sex is to be expected. My ex never would admit she wasn't sexually attracted to me, but she had twenty-three years of avoidance. The only times she wanted sex were situations such as the need to get married or the need to have children. I hope that helps. Got to be honest iron. Asexuality, whilst I don’t deny it’s existence is in many cases one of the following: People who can’t get laid finding a way to remove the pressure of why. People wanting to be cool and belong to the latest and newest group. People who are a bit mental. People who are just sad. Asexuality has now been linked to a sexual dysfunction and type of mental health although. Go on aven and say that and you’ll be banned for citing scientific studies as they don’t like being “invalidated”. |
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Post by ironhamster on Feb 28, 2022 3:29:58 GMT -5
atlantic, you may want to do some research on asexuality. Asexuality is an overlooked sexual orientation. Just like straight people have no interest in people of the same sex, asexual people don't have any sexual interest in anyone. This means, through no fault of their own, they are destined to be a sexual disappointment to anyone in any relationship where sex is to be expected. My ex never would admit she wasn't sexually attracted to me, but she had twenty-three years of avoidance. The only times she wanted sex were situations such as the need to get married or the need to have children. I hope that helps. Got to be honest iron. Asexuality, whilst I don’t deny it’s existence is in many cases one of the following: People who can’t get laid finding a way to remove the pressure of why. People wanting to be cool and belong to the latest and newest group. People who are a bit mental. People who are just sad. Asexuality has now been linked to a sexual dysfunction and type of mental health although. Go on aven and say that and you’ll be banned for citing scientific studies as they don’t like being “invalidated”. It's also linked to childhood sexual abuse. I am permabanned from AVEN because I repeatedly challenged their advice to young Asexuals to lie to their normal partners, turning a loving relationship into a charade. If one must lie to deny a partner of what they crave, that's not love. That's control. |
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Post by rejected101 on Feb 28, 2022 5:06:00 GMT -5
Got to be honest iron. Asexuality, whilst I don’t deny it’s existence is in many cases one of the following: People who can’t get laid finding a way to remove the pressure of why. People wanting to be cool and belong to the latest and newest group. People who are a bit mental. People who are just sad. Asexuality has now been linked to a sexual dysfunction and type of mental health although. Go on aven and say that and you’ll be banned for citing scientific studies as they don’t like being “invalidated”. It's also linked to childhood sexual abuse. I am permabanned from AVEN because I repeatedly challenged their advice to young Asexuals to lie to their normal partners, turning a loving relationship into a charade. If one must lie to deny a partner of what they crave, that's not love. That's control. Ironically I hadn’t been on aven for years but yes I used to lock horns with many of them over the hypocrisy of it all. One thread would indicate “they knew” they were asexual when they were 5. They just knew it. Everyone jumps on board and says “yeah me too. That’s exactly what I felt” and all this type of modern high five bull shit to make each other feel great. Next day I’ll challenge a thread where some poor fucker has been married to one these characters for years and wondering why they don’t ever have sex and when I say things like, surely you knew you didn’t like or want sex when you married that poor bloke and if so your actions are shocking. That’s when they swarm on you and claim that it’s “not necessarily possible to have known”. I’ve argued the case with them so many times over in that, if I am a gay man and marry a woman and deprive her intimacy/sex, I’d be ashamed of myself because I’ve conned her. Being asexual doesn’t provide a free pass. It’s the same. Your post was “stopping the blame game” has gone down as the most legendary response in the history of aven by the way 🤣😂 |
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Post by greatcoastal on Feb 28, 2022 18:10:44 GMT -5
Do they have a section for greysexual? on aven?
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Post by ironhamster on Feb 28, 2022 21:37:02 GMT -5
Do they have a section for greysexual? on aven? They have search functions, so you can find greysexual discussions, and all the other little labels they use to make themselves feel special. |
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Starving…
Feb 28, 2022 21:41:07 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by ironhamster on Feb 28, 2022 21:41:07 GMT -5
It's also linked to childhood sexual abuse. I am permabanned from AVEN because I repeatedly challenged their advice to young Asexuals to lie to their normal partners, turning a loving relationship into a charade. If one must lie to deny a partner of what they crave, that's not love. That's control. Ironically I hadn’t been on aven for years but yes I used to lock horns with many of them over the hypocrisy of it all. One thread would indicate “they knew” they were asexual when they were 5. They just knew it. Everyone jumps on board and says “yeah me too. That’s exactly what I felt” and all this type of modern high five bull shit to make each other feel great. Next day I’ll challenge a thread where some poor fucker has been married to one these characters for years and wondering why they don’t ever have sex and when I say things like, surely you knew you didn’t like or want sex when you married that poor bloke and if so your actions are shocking. That’s when they swarm on you and claim that it’s “not necessarily possible to have known”. I’ve argued the case with them so many times over in that, if I am a gay man and marry a woman and deprive her intimacy/sex, I’d be ashamed of myself because I’ve conned her. Being asexual doesn’t provide a free pass. It’s the same. Your post was “stopping the blame game” has gone down as the most legendary response in the history of aven by the way 🤣😂 OMG. I haven't perused that site in a long time. I have a different phone now, so I can look. They blocked my device ID on my old one. It appears that most of my posts were taken down in a fit of censorship, yet, somehow, that post survived. www.asexuality.org/en/search/?&q=Blame&author=IronHamster&search_and_or=or |
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Starving…
Mar 1, 2022 19:41:37 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by rejected101 on Mar 1, 2022 19:41:37 GMT -5
Do they have a section for greysexual? on aven? I’ve heard of that term being thrown around on aven. You have a number of different types of asexual from what I can see… Don’t desire sex, not attracted to people Not attracted to people but desire sex Sex repulsed Attracted to romance with people, no desire for sex Not attracted to people, but somehow identify as gay Attracted to people, identify as gay, sex repulsed The list genuinely goes on and on. There’ll be more variants asexuality then covid could ever have produced. Many of them are just misfits looking to find a way to fit. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Mar 1, 2022 20:11:06 GMT -5
Do they have a section for greysexual? on aven? I’ve heard of that term being thrown around on aven. You have a number of different types of asexual from what I can see… Don’t desire sex, not attracted to people Not attracted to people but desire sex Sex repulsed Attracted to romance with people, no desire for sex Not attracted to people, but somehow identify as gay Attracted to people, identify as gay, sex repulsed The list genuinely goes on and on. There’ll be more variants asexuality then covid could ever have produced. Many of them are just misfits looking to find a way to fit. It's been years since I researched "grey-sexual" but it fit my now ex W. Someone who has sex to procreate only. Then comes the " It's not important to me, It doesn't matter, I can take it or leave it" attitude. (those where my ex's exact words during marriage counseling). She also could 'turn it on' when she wanted to have another baby. I even remember her coming home from work and asking for a 'quickie' ! (a one time event- never to happen again!) |
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Post by rejected101 on Mar 1, 2022 20:48:28 GMT -5
I’ve heard of that term being thrown around on aven. You have a number of different types of asexual from what I can see… Don’t desire sex, not attracted to people Not attracted to people but desire sex Sex repulsed Attracted to romance with people, no desire for sex Not attracted to people, but somehow identify as gay Attracted to people, identify as gay, sex repulsed The list genuinely goes on and on. There’ll be more variants asexuality then covid could ever have produced. Many of them are just misfits looking to find a way to fit. It's been years since I researched "grey-sexual" but it fit my now ex W. Someone who has sex to procreate only. Then comes the " It's not important to me, It doesn't matter, I can take it or leave it" attitude. (those where my ex's exact words during marriage counseling). She also could 'turn it on' when she wanted to have another baby. I even remember her coming home from work and asking for a 'quickie' ! (a one time event- never to happen again!) Doesn’t sound like greysexual to me. It sounds very much like selfish. “Its not important to ME, it doesn’t matter (to ME) I can take it or leave it”. Then take it and make it more important to you because your partners feelings should be of a concern to you not just your own. Much like you or I wouldn’t demand that our respective partners fuck as often as we demand, they shouldn’t do so either. Regarding the procreation element, my ex was the same. An uplift from once every six weeks to 3,4 and even 5 times in one week was suddenly possible and with enthusiasm and enjoyment too by all accounts. That’s because sex serves a purpose for them in that setting. Stands to reason that if 5 times in a week is possible when you are after a conception that 1 time per week should be possible to bring happiness to your spouse. I’d have chewed my left leg off for the once a week scenario at the time of my ILIASM. Not greysexual….selfish fucker. Of course you go on aven and call them selfish fuckers, they’ll ban you 🤣😂 surprise surprise. |
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