Just enough to keep my attention
May 20, 2022 17:29:53 GMT -5
via mobile
jim44444, h, and 1 more like this
Post by carpy on May 20, 2022 17:29:53 GMT -5
I'm a new member though I have been following since the ep days. I remember googling sexless marriage and finding the forum and feeling so blessed to realize that I was not alone and so many other people were living the same life I was. I remember specifically a post called "All that glitters.." I believe written by a woman who chronicled all the things she had tried to cope with her sm. I read that one many times.
I have been married 23 years and have 2 kids in their 20s. Like a lot here, the sex was great at first, but once kids came it became weaponized. She withheld saying I wasn't romantic enough, I resented her for withholding, do I probably wasn't feeling very romantic. Eventually we fell into a situation where I would try to check all the boxes she said she wanted, cleaning the house, buying her gifts, being romantic...all hoping for the pay off, but usually one thing would be wrong, or I would say or do something wrong to piss her off and that would be her reason for not "being in the mood"
In the last 5 years or so I have stopped trying. I am kind and nice to her, I have just come to realize that what I do or do not do doesn't really matter. This has always been a her problem. So we are what I would define as sexless- less than 10 times a year, usually she initiates by saying "why don't you ever seduce me/touch me/want me" ignoring the 50 times that week that I hugged, kissed and told her I loved her. Then it is 5 minutes of missionary and on with our day.
I have a lot of the post sex blues, because these 10 instances of reset a year always spark my hope that we can have a fun, shared exciting sex life, but then another 5 weeks of being ignored. I cope by having lots of sex with my self, buying sex toys to use on me and reading this forum. My question is does anyone else have a partner that seems to sense when you are just about to completely lose interest and then comes with reset sex in hand? I think it is almost more difficult than no sex sometimes because it is like suffering the loss over and over again every 5 weeks
I have been married 23 years and have 2 kids in their 20s. Like a lot here, the sex was great at first, but once kids came it became weaponized. She withheld saying I wasn't romantic enough, I resented her for withholding, do I probably wasn't feeling very romantic. Eventually we fell into a situation where I would try to check all the boxes she said she wanted, cleaning the house, buying her gifts, being romantic...all hoping for the pay off, but usually one thing would be wrong, or I would say or do something wrong to piss her off and that would be her reason for not "being in the mood"
In the last 5 years or so I have stopped trying. I am kind and nice to her, I have just come to realize that what I do or do not do doesn't really matter. This has always been a her problem. So we are what I would define as sexless- less than 10 times a year, usually she initiates by saying "why don't you ever seduce me/touch me/want me" ignoring the 50 times that week that I hugged, kissed and told her I loved her. Then it is 5 minutes of missionary and on with our day.
I have a lot of the post sex blues, because these 10 instances of reset a year always spark my hope that we can have a fun, shared exciting sex life, but then another 5 weeks of being ignored. I cope by having lots of sex with my self, buying sex toys to use on me and reading this forum. My question is does anyone else have a partner that seems to sense when you are just about to completely lose interest and then comes with reset sex in hand? I think it is almost more difficult than no sex sometimes because it is like suffering the loss over and over again every 5 weeks