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Post by dallasgia on Jun 7, 2022 14:01:41 GMT -5
I found it -didn’t touch it - just watched for about 6 weeks. Now, it’s gone.
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Post by jim44444 on Jun 7, 2022 19:20:50 GMT -5
Does your H have normal access to that much spare cash? Would he have need for it during the normal course of business?
If either answer is no then I feel you have a serious problem. That amount of unexplained cash moving is a red flag for an activity that he is keeping secret from you. Maybe something illegal or maybe something unethical. He could be moving money in preparation to filling for a divorce. Maybe he has an affair partner.
You need to talk to a lawyer.
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Post by dallasgia on Jun 7, 2022 21:47:29 GMT -5
He is not self employed and has never been one to even have $100 in his wallet our entire 25 year marriage. I agree with you - problem.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 7, 2022 22:36:55 GMT -5
Big problem! I'm wondering if he has a secret account and took that money out in order to have a soft landing after he divorces you.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 7, 2022 22:47:12 GMT -5
I think I'd ask.
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 8, 2022 6:00:15 GMT -5
I found it -didn’t touch it - just watched for about 6 weeks. Now, it’s gone. Where did you find it? Behind a panel of drywall? On his nightstand? Tucked behind the cornflakes in the pantry? In a toolbox in the attic? Next to a bag of groceries on the dining table?. The assumption the others have generally seems plausible. Cash, just sitting in a bag? I suspect it's still in the house. Maybe in the trunk if he has a separate car. If you find it again and deposit it in your joint bank account, ("Having cash lying around is reckless, honey. Hate to see it get stolen!"), I think the IRS looks at deposits over $10k. Let the IRS snoop for you. Does he have time out of the house unsupervised? (side job?) Is weed legal in your state? What's your cut, not to narc? Sure hope you share any closure you get.
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Post by dallasgia on Jun 8, 2022 11:14:55 GMT -5
Initially found the money in a bank bag stashed in the gun case. Then, he moved it to his in home office. Now it’s gone.
Dang! I wish I had thought about depositing it.
Like the entire story of this marriage I just sat silent and watched. Now, it’s gone. I have torn this house up. Maybe he got a safety deposit box.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 8, 2022 11:25:24 GMT -5
Ask him about it-- and then notice how he tries to gaslight you. It really sounds like you'd be better off without him.
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Post by jim44444 on Jun 8, 2022 16:21:11 GMT -5
I am convinced he is up to something shady. Do you feel safe asking him about it?
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Post by dallasgia on Jun 8, 2022 18:20:40 GMT -5
The finances - it’s been clear - are his domain. To ask would be out of character for me. I’m trying very hard to keep this sinking ship stable until after the oldest kids wedding in Oct. To ask might crack the door open to the final consequences. But, I’ve recently been snooping around and discovered over $200,000 in ETrade stock sells in the last 12 months. Resulted in a $40k tax liability for 2021. He filed our taxes without asking me to sign or offering me to have a look - standard in our marriage. What I dont know is if he reinvested that 200k or what happened to that money.
He spent 25 years erasing my voice. But, through this group - I am finding it again.
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Post by northstarmom on Jun 8, 2022 18:29:49 GMT -5
Have you talked to a lawyer to find out what to do to protect yourself? Your husband, too, may be looking to end the marriage after October and he may be doing shady financial things so you are left with nothing.
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Post by jerri on Jun 8, 2022 18:47:53 GMT -5
get pictures with a timestamp. He wants you to think he only has 100 dollars to his name for some unknown reason.
It's your word against his. I would not ask, he will get better at hiding. Just collect evidence. A big clue would be to put a tracker on his vehicle. That would tell you most of the story? Hide that chip that you have pictures on? Maybe a keylogger, maybe an anti-keylogger maybe a PI. Play stupid for now. I would want to protect myself from a shady business. Maybe it's legit? So many questions.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 8, 2022 19:37:44 GMT -5
I recall reading many a statistic that shows $$$ being the no 1. issue in divorce and /or sex and cheating being no 1, or a close second. For many it's the final nail in the coffin, definitely a " trust/power" issue.
From a legal point of view...during my divorce I discovered my now ex had suddenly moved 2 to $300,000.00 from the bank. I could prove it had been moved, but sadly the burden of 'finding" where it was moved to was on me. My attorney questioned my ex under oath and my ex's answers where " I don't know", and "I have no idea". You might need to eventually, leave it up to an attorney, when the time comes. Document as much as you can, and take pics. in the future.
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 8, 2022 20:10:53 GMT -5
What's gone is probably gone, but you know where all this is going. Document what you can. You probably cannot prove that pile of cash existed, but if money gets cashed out of a bank account you can prove he is "depleting marital assets." Guard what you can. It would be a very good idea to have a bank account WITHOUT his name on it, so you know that, no matter what he does, you won't find yourself unable to make a purchase with your debit card.
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 9, 2022 1:25:19 GMT -5
The finances - it’s been clear - are his domain. To ask would be out of character for me. I’m trying very hard to keep this sinking ship stable until after the oldest kids wedding in Oct. To ask might crack the door open to the final consequences. But, I’ve recently been snooping around and discovered over $200,000 in ETrade stock sells in the last 12 months. Resulted in a $40k tax liability for 2021. He filed our taxes without asking me to sign or offering me to have a look - standard in our marriage. What I dont know is if he reinvested that 200k or what happened to that money. He spent 25 years erasing my voice. But, through this group - I am finding it again. Whatever the money was for, I can't think of any explanation that isn't potentially harmful to you. Do you think he might have caught wind of your plans following the wedding? It sounds like he's got the funds to move fast.
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