Post by aimless on Sept 14, 2022 8:28:44 GMT -5
I am currently completely blown away. I have been in a sexless marriage for 15 years. In the beginning it was good enough. But very quickly after we got married it went down to almost nothing less than twice a month and after the kids were born only when we had “the talk”. Fast forward 12 years. For the last three years it has been completely sexless. I stopped asking thinking that she would notice. She didn’t. And as we approached the anniversary of the last time we had sex. I hinted at it. I thought this might surprise her However I was the one who was surprised. She responded with the exact date of the last time we had sex as if she was well aware. My whole plan for what I was going to say went out the window. Apparently she is thinking about it but Obviously not in the same way I am. I could not believe that she was well aware of the entire time. That was the end of the conversation. I think I literally had my mouth hanging open. She never brought up the fact that I stopped asking. She never initiated. She thinks a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye are intimacy and she gets mad if I don’t immediately kiss her when I come home or forget to kiss her when I leave. I think those gestures are empty without real intimacy. Prior to this we had followed the pattern of me doing everything I can to initiate intimacy touching kissing hugging cuddling directly talking about our lack of sex asking for more sex and it always ended with the same phrase from my wife….” I know I have to do better” this never actually led to any change we would be intimate maybe a couple of more times the following month but often it wouldn’t even lead to one additional act of intimacy. Never mind intercourse she hasn’t touched me in a sexual way in over three years. I have no intention of leaving her we have two small children and I doubt she is secure enough for an open marriage. It is only slightly comforting to see I am not alone but I am thinking of finding someone on the side just for my own mental health.