The Holidays: do not reconnect with your X
Jan 5, 2023 12:22:57 GMT -5
misssunnybunny, northstarmom, and 1 more like this
Post by greatcoastal on Jan 5, 2023 12:22:57 GMT -5
medium.com/acid-sugar/the-holidays-are-not-an-excuse-to-reconnect-with-your-ex-f2c91dd45590
The Holidays Are Not an Excuse to Reconnect with Your Ex
Delete that text. Drop that phone.
You’re not “only being polite.”
You’re not “only proving there are no hard feelings,” or that you’re “the bigger person.”
You’re trying to rebuild a bridge that has been burned for a reason.
That “Happy Holidays” message is anything but innocent. You can use every excuse in the book, but you can only fool yourself — or anyone else — for about five minutes.
The truth is, you expect to reconnect with someone who doesn’t deserve your attention. You’re walking back on months (or years) of progress only because you can’t sit with your own feelings for any longer than ten minutes.
The Holidays can be an especially lonely time of year, not to mention how nostalgic Holiday parties and traditions can make you feel.
After you’ve spent some time away from your ex, it’s easier to remember only the best parts of that relationship. Being single in the Holidays can intensify that effect.
Taking a break from work and other regular activities provides you with extra time to reflect on the course of your life. The general message all around you is one of love, family, and unity, all things you desperately crave when you’re single and have no romantic prospects.
You romanticize what it would be like to talk to your ex again. What if they’ve changed? What if they miss you just as much as you miss them but are hesitating to reach out for the same reasons as you are?
At best, this could be a new beginning for the two of you. At worst, you’re showing them just how mature you are by wishing them well.
Stop.
Delete that text. Drop that phone. Lock it in a drawer if you have to.
It took you long enough to get over this person, and if you haven’t spoken to them in months (or years), it’s for a good reason. You had to go no-contact to protect your sanity, and you’re not about to throw all that effort away only because you’re feeling lonely, bored, or in need of some kind of drama in your life.
Before you use the Holidays as an excuse to reconnect with your ex, make an honest assessment of your reasons. If they were someone you could have a friendly relationship with, you would have one already, and the Holidays wouldn’t make you feel any different.
If you haven’t spoken in months because of how everything ended between the two of you, and the approaching Holidays feel like an opportunity you can’t miss, it’s probably better that you keep your distance. Text a friend instead.
No one enjoys feeling lonely, but sometimes the best you can do is go for a walk, call a friend, pet your dog and suck it up.
Seasonal feelings only last as long as the Season does.
The Holidays Are Not an Excuse to Reconnect with Your Ex
Delete that text. Drop that phone.
You’re not “only being polite.”
You’re not “only proving there are no hard feelings,” or that you’re “the bigger person.”
You’re trying to rebuild a bridge that has been burned for a reason.
That “Happy Holidays” message is anything but innocent. You can use every excuse in the book, but you can only fool yourself — or anyone else — for about five minutes.
The truth is, you expect to reconnect with someone who doesn’t deserve your attention. You’re walking back on months (or years) of progress only because you can’t sit with your own feelings for any longer than ten minutes.
The Holidays can be an especially lonely time of year, not to mention how nostalgic Holiday parties and traditions can make you feel.
After you’ve spent some time away from your ex, it’s easier to remember only the best parts of that relationship. Being single in the Holidays can intensify that effect.
Taking a break from work and other regular activities provides you with extra time to reflect on the course of your life. The general message all around you is one of love, family, and unity, all things you desperately crave when you’re single and have no romantic prospects.
You romanticize what it would be like to talk to your ex again. What if they’ve changed? What if they miss you just as much as you miss them but are hesitating to reach out for the same reasons as you are?
At best, this could be a new beginning for the two of you. At worst, you’re showing them just how mature you are by wishing them well.
Stop.
Delete that text. Drop that phone. Lock it in a drawer if you have to.
It took you long enough to get over this person, and if you haven’t spoken to them in months (or years), it’s for a good reason. You had to go no-contact to protect your sanity, and you’re not about to throw all that effort away only because you’re feeling lonely, bored, or in need of some kind of drama in your life.
Before you use the Holidays as an excuse to reconnect with your ex, make an honest assessment of your reasons. If they were someone you could have a friendly relationship with, you would have one already, and the Holidays wouldn’t make you feel any different.
If you haven’t spoken in months because of how everything ended between the two of you, and the approaching Holidays feel like an opportunity you can’t miss, it’s probably better that you keep your distance. Text a friend instead.
No one enjoys feeling lonely, but sometimes the best you can do is go for a walk, call a friend, pet your dog and suck it up.
Seasonal feelings only last as long as the Season does.