|
Post by baza on Sept 5, 2021 22:46:28 GMT -5
This is more about "overall" ILIASM membership rather than individual members. There are 1,787 members in this group.
This group started in March 2016, and there was a pretty high membership take up rate - mainly refugees from the old Experience Project as that group was about to go off the air. Once that initial injection of big numbers and things settled down, the new membership take up rate dropped off.
As an example, take the month of July.
In July 2016, new members were 29 In July 2017, new members were 27 In July 2018, new members were 44 In July 2019, new members were 19 In July 2020, new members were 10 In July 2021, new members were 14
The numbers don't reflect a lot of growth.
|
|
|
Post by deadzone75 on Sept 5, 2021 23:11:07 GMT -5
In many cases, I think people do find answers here, which is why they eventually vanish. Personally, this site helped me realize there was no magic button that I could find and push to suddenly jumpstart my SM. It simply didn't exist. Once I realized that, I could only complain about wanting sex so many times before I started to annoy myself. At that point, it was do something or shut up and deal. While clearly not having the same vibe as it once did, this place can still and will continue to help people. It might not be a fun realization, but it's a place that will tell you what your biased family and friends might not. In the end, the choice to end my SM was made for me, so while I will always be bitter about having my thunder stolen, much in the same way I am bitter about my 1992 prom and the succubus who left with another dude, I got off easy...no pun intended. Now comes the next challenge of moving on and the unknown that kept me so firmly in place for so many years. I faced cold truths in here, and met people who made more of an impact in my life than most people I meet in person. So cheers, ILIASM. Whatever the future holds for this place, it does make a difference to people. deadzone75 - I hope you come back periodically and let us know how you are doing and how life is progressing for you. I think people here benefit from seeing how those of us who managed to get out of our sm are doing. Please don’t be a stranger. Oh, I will! It's still a beneficial place for me. Plus, where else can I talk about oiled sandwiches?
|
|
|
Post by isthisit on Sept 6, 2021 0:42:10 GMT -5
This is more about "overall" ILIASM membership rather than individual members. There are 1,787 members in this group. This group started in March 2016, and there was a pretty high membership take up rate - mainly refugees from the old Experience Project as that group was about to go off the air. Once that initial injection of big numbers and things settled down, the new membership take up rate dropped off. As an example, take the month of July. In July 2016, new members were 29 In July 2017, new members were 27 In July 2018, new members were 44 In July 2019, new members were 19 In July 2020, new members were 10 In July 2021, new members were 14 The numbers don't reflect a lot of growth. I am very conscious of, and concerned about the demise of this place. Recently I googled the phrase I used when I stumbled across the forum and it didn’t appear in the results. I then tried other word combinations and phrases for SM - no luck. Only ‘sexless marriage forum’ found here. I am a complete tech muppet so have zero clue why this is. Does anyone else? I agree with DZ, I think we probably have more benefit than we realise, even if it is unwelcome news for many.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Sept 6, 2021 1:20:54 GMT -5
ILIASM member number growth might not be spectacular but I do not see an immediate problem. I look at other SM web sites and see fewer posts on other SM type websites but they still have people posting. Point #2 is while some SM sites have few posts I know of a few internet sites that have a lot more posts than on ILIASM. If anyone felt ILIASM was dead, they could post on one of the busier SM websites. Yes the culture would be different and you might not get the same advice as on ILIASM but it would be a place to discuss things.
BTW, the other SM type websites do not have any better answers than we have here on ILIASM. Some of the other websites have books associated with the website, which to me is how or why people found that particular website.
Some websites have so called professional counselor advertised so until ILIASM has an author with a high book sales record, don't wonder about "Is the ILIASM forum being competitive?
OTH, maybe we could buy votes and make ILIASH have a higher Google Rating.
|
|
|
Post by mirrororchid on Sept 6, 2021 7:07:12 GMT -5
... so until ILIASM has an author with a high book sales record, don't wonder about "Is the ILIASM forum being competitive? I expect to release the *REFUSED* podcast - season 1 - within two months. That may get a bump for us? If it does, more interviews like Padgemi's could help flesh out season 2.
|
|
|
Post by sadkat on Sept 6, 2021 20:08:37 GMT -5
deadzone75 - I hope you come back periodically and let us know how you are doing and how life is progressing for you. I think people here benefit from seeing how those of us who managed to get out of our sm are doing. Please don’t be a stranger. Oh, I will! It's still a beneficial place for me. Plus, where else can I talk about oiled sandwiches? I’m very glad that you will be checking back with us! And you’re right- we had a lot of fun with the sandwich filling discussion! 😂.
|
|
|
Post by baza on Sept 6, 2021 20:32:15 GMT -5
There was a member (shynjguy) who contributed a lot of posts a couple of years ago. Unfortunately he deleted his profile and posts, about 2 years ago.
Anyway, he reckoned that of the full membership, about 1,500 at the time, that only about 200 were active at any given time.
He made a pretty good case for his assertion ... and I think he was / is right.
Essentially his point was that although the full membership may be 1,800, that only 200 are active at a given time - lets say in July 2016. But by say July 2018 there'll still be 200 active members - but they will be a different 200 than was the case in July 2016.
And of course there are the usual fossils like me, northstarmom, ironhamster etc who probably number about 50 who have been active a long time.
|
|
|
Post by angeleyes65 on Sept 7, 2021 20:33:18 GMT -5
I have to say when I first found this board on EP. It was like a relief to find out I wasn't alone it was good to vent and process and I loved reading other people's journey. After awhile it got depressing to see how many people are in this boat and can't or don't leave. I felt like I was at a dead end. I took a break and when I tried to come back it was gone. A friend that was on EP and here told me about the new site. It does seem like activity has dropped since covid..
|
|
|
Baby steps
Sept 9, 2021 23:23:35 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by ironhamster on Sept 9, 2021 23:23:35 GMT -5
I got insights here that I needed and wasn't getting elsewhere. In fact, my views have so angered the reddit crowd that I was banned off of their HLcommunity and deadbedrooms forums. I posted links to our ILIASM forum several times, and perhaps should have stuck with that tactic.
|
|
|
Post by mirrororchid on Sept 10, 2021 18:07:42 GMT -5
I got insights here that I needed and wasn't getting elsewhere. In fact, my views have so angered the reddit crowd that I was banned off of their HLcommunity and deadbedrooms forums. I posted links to our ILIASM forum several times, and perhaps should have stuck with that tactic. Wow! What did you say? Likely means your posts are no longer there to read for myself.
|
|
|
Post by ironhamster on Sept 10, 2021 23:09:46 GMT -5
I got insights here that I needed and wasn't getting elsewhere. In fact, my views have so angered the reddit crowd that I was banned off of their HLcommunity and deadbedrooms forums. I posted links to our ILIASM forum several times, and perhaps should have stuck with that tactic. Wow! What did you say? Likely means your posts are no longer there to read for myself. Sometimes, tin crown dictators get into positions of power. So, when I explain how refusers think, that violates their rule of "no generalizations", or similar silly rules. I found that there was an increasingly hostile Reddit Hivemind. One unpopular comment I made was about how older men have an advantage in the dating scene. One reply stated, "this is getting downvoted, but it's true." The downvote is really Reddits downfall into Redidiocy. It allows the hivemind to develop, rather than just ignoring a comment they don't like they can contribute to the censorship within the group. Thus, they will end up with a polarized following, limited in thought and opinion. Not my gig. Dialogue has two root words, indicating two people discussing using the rules of logic. That, rather than the emotional claptrap now found permeating Reddit, is my preferred method of communication.
|
|
|
Post by jerri on Sept 11, 2021 1:54:36 GMT -5
I was on Reddit too and with legitimate posts came the sea of posts that were: How do I get sex? I haven't had sex in two weeks and I am dying here. I just couldn't be myself.
|
|
|
Post by Handy on Sept 11, 2021 9:36:44 GMT -5
I looked at Reddit but maybe I don't know how it is organized. I was looking for common problems or some long term posters. It looked like it is organized differently than some of the forums that I am familiar with.
|
|