article: "Living In A Sexless Marriage Broke Me"

So glad you all have each other to work through this. I know it helps tremendously.

Sexual rejection is, absolutely, without a doubt, the most awful feeling in a marriage. I was so scared for so long to initiate with my now-husband for fear of it. That fear still lingers... "is this when I start getting rejected???" "When will the rejection start?" Each time he doesn't reject me (which has been always so far) my trust goes up and I can rely on this relationship. One time I initiated we didn't have actual sex because he was really sore from carrying bricks all day (I was too, but that never stops me.. ha). He didn't make me feel bad, though, and he ended up pleasuring me. He also more than made up for it the very next day. So it wasn't actual "rejection" like I remember in my ex-marriage. That rejection was a heavy sigh and "really? Now???" Shattered trust. Shattered relationship. Too many pieces to ever put back together as time goes on like that.