You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy Birthday elkclan2, where ever you are.... May 22, 2023 7:07:01 GMT -5
hopingforachange: Wow, i didn't know we had a podcast May 29, 2023 0:10:59 GMT -5
mirrororchid: unofficial, but yes. May 31, 2023 20:12:00 GMT -5
lonelygirlcity: Hello everyone. New here and glad to know Iโ€™m not suffering alone. Jun 9, 2023 2:14:09 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Welcome, lonelygirlcity, and sorry you're here. Want to introduce yourself? iliasm.org/thread/2/introduce Jun 9, 2023 6:01:47 GMT -5
lonelygirlcity: Thanks for the welcome @mirrorchild ๐Ÿ’— I shared my story in the introduction section and hopefully itโ€™s relatable. Jun 14, 2023 21:46:11 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Saw the intro, , also saw you exploring in other threads. Good for you. Wishing you success in resolution, in whatever form that comes. Jun 26, 2023 6:12:50 GMT -5
mirrororchid: *REFUSED* Episode 22 - The Vow Series - FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE - Available now at: refusedpodcast.com Jun 29, 2023 6:16:56 GMT -5 *
tamethetiger: Seen you were new like myself. Would love to hear your story if your still around here. :) Jun 29, 2023 18:41:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday northstarmom,...we have been at this a long time huh?... Jul 10, 2023 5:19:59 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday cagedtiger, where ever you are..... Jul 22, 2023 5:35:42 GMT -5
northstarmom: Thanks, Worksforme, for the birthday greetings! Jul 23, 2023 21:50:57 GMT -5
alisha4vibes: I want to make new friends with benefit Jul 24, 2023 11:57:06 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday baseballgirl,....where ever you are Jul 26, 2023 5:30:18 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday dinnaken,....where ever you are Jul 28, 2023 5:56:40 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday GreekGoddess where ever you are..... Aug 4, 2023 6:15:36 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday h,.... Aug 30, 2023 13:01:40 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Second that! Happy Birthday, H! Aug 31, 2023 20:02:56 GMT -5
h: Thanks for the birthday wishes. I haven't been on much with a busy work schedule but things are calming down so I'll be around more. Sept 5, 2023 20:49:49 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday obobfla.... Sept 14, 2023 5:45:27 GMT -5
Shout as:
  • Bold
  • Italic
  • Underline
  • Strikethrough
  • Link
  • Insert Smiley
0/256 Send Cancel