You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy Birthday mypaintbrushes... May 16, 2022 16:59:22 GMT -5
h: Just listened to 16 last night. Excellent content. Keep up the good work Jun 2, 2022 7:17:46 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Thanks so much, h. The feedback is thoroughly appreciated. Jun 3, 2022 5:47:14 GMT -5 *
mirrororchid: *REFUSED* Episode 18 - "The Vow Series: LOVE" now on tap at: refusedpodcast.com Jun 22, 2022 18:21:19 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: Happy Birthday Rhapsodee where ever you are.... Jun 23, 2022 6:39:26 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hope the flooding is missing you baza.... Jul 3, 2022 16:22:45 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday northstarmom.... Jul 10, 2022 6:05:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Looks like it is going to be another slow week at the ILIASM site.... Jul 18, 2022 13:13:38 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Summer vaca? Jul 25, 2022 9:50:49 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday bballgirl, where ever you are....... Jul 26, 2022 3:43:06 GMT -5
northstarmom: Thanks for the birthday wishes, worksforme2! Jul 27, 2022 21:23:48 GMT -5
onempty: Dry Creek, you are absolutely spot on with all this advice. Separate bank accounts a good idea IMO but might be harder to achieve and could cause other problems if there is a huge disparity in income. Jul 28, 2022 13:03:11 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday GreekGoddess..... Aug 4, 2022 5:56:47 GMT -5
worksforme2: I am going to dial 911. I need help. Once again, the forest creatures have raided my apple trees and picked them clean..I really am growing weary of feeding all of nature's critters. Aug 20, 2022 17:55:31 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Best wishes, TMD. Always good to see you. Aug 31, 2022 17:46:00 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday csl..... Sept 3, 2022 17:27:31 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Great to see you again, ! Sept 12, 2022 6:27:42 GMT -5 *
worksforme2: Happy Birthday obobfla,... Sept 14, 2022 7:04:50 GMT -5
sweetplumeria: OMG I never saw the shout box on my phone... thanks everyone for my birthday wishes!!! Sept 16, 2022 23:05:13 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday deleted..... Sept 25, 2022 13:49:06 GMT -5
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