Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 16:08:17 GMT -5
In other news - the cat is doing better. And the guy I had to cancel with is exchanging texts with me right now, as we speak.
|
|
|
|
Post by TMD on May 5, 2017 18:59:06 GMT -5
Glad to hear kitty is better! And you have a meeting/date tomorrow. Hope you have a great weekend!
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 19:04:25 GMT -5
Update: You will not believe this. The man I was texting with (whom I met on a dating site; we're supposed to meet tomorrow) - has a cat himself, and has always had cats. It gets better. He's allergic to cats, but he uses medications to fight the allergies. petrushka gave me some well-meaning advice not to count out guys who are allergic to cats. Is this a Twilight Zone moment, or what? |
|
|
|
Post by TMD on May 5, 2017 19:12:53 GMT -5
It's BRILLIANT. A cat guy. I love him for you already!
|
|
|
|
Post by unmatched on May 5, 2017 21:14:02 GMT -5
Update: You will not believe this. The man I was texting with (whom I met on a dating site; we're supposed to meet tomorrow) - has a cat himself, and has always had cats. It gets better. He's allergic to cats, but he uses medications to fight the allergies. petrushka gave me some well-meaning advice not to count out guys who are allergic to cats. Is this a Twilight Zone moment, or what? That is the holy grail - almost as good as finding an older guy who has some erectile issues but is actually willing to take viagra if he needs to. |
|
|
|
Post by petrushka on May 6, 2017 2:49:45 GMT -5
Guess what: I take antihistamines when visiting friends with cats.
On occasion. After a few days the efficacy starts go to down.
You've turned around the gist of what I was trying to say at the time:
It is my not so humble opinion that people are more important than
pets; if someone really wants to be in an intimate relationship with
me then I expect to be more important to them than a pussycat, a dog
or a goldfish -- if having a cat is more important to them than the
{chance of a} relationship, then so be it.
Some people close to me have chosen not to 'renew' their cat when
the old one died, out of consideration for me. Other people would
never consider compromising and state that their cat is more
important to them than their human. Fine - if that's what they want.
I was attempting to pose a rethorical question about that.
My value judgement is mine, yours is yours. My priorities are
mine, and yours are yours. And that's fine. Remember Fritz Perls.
I was trying to ask a question.
And, after a fashion, you have actually answered it.
Of course, in a real life situation, I will base my decision making
on my person's priorities. If my refuser, or my live-in lover would
unilaterally get an indoor cat, I'd be out of here.
Fortunately my refuser's ideas about pets (outdoors!) and mine
co-incide. I enjoy, and, in some special cases, love cats, I just
am not prepared to breathe in their fur on a permanent basis,
because it does horrible things to me... but that is my space, my
'problem', not yours.
On the other hand, I know where I stand with 'real life' friends
who don't care that I might have a major asthma attack.
They get shifted to the periphery. I may be a 'pleaser' but I am
not a sucker.
I wasn't telling you not to count on guys allergic to cats, @smartcat .
Because that is not in my realm, it is entirely up to your prospective dates.
I was just wondering out loud if you're the kind of person who has
thought about if your being a cat owner is more important than {having}
a human partner.
I know lots of people who would choose the cats. True dat.
Me, I am a people-person. If the woman of my dreams came along,
my pet would get adopted out to an approved household if it was a problem for her.
In. A. Jiffy.
|
|
|
|
Post by Rhapsodee on May 6, 2017 11:34:20 GMT -5
Update: You will not believe this. The man I was texting with (whom I met on a dating site; we're supposed to meet tomorrow) - has a cat himself, and has always had cats. It gets better. He's allergic to cats, but he uses medications to fight the allergies. petrushka gave me some well-meaning advice not to count out guys who are allergic to cats. Is this a Twilight Zone moment, or what? I love my cats. I have two and I'm allergic to them. If I miss my Claritin and Flonase I'm miserable. We have a cat free zone, the master bedroom, so I have a place to recover if it gets to be too much for me. |
|
|
|
Post by lwoetin on May 6, 2017 13:14:29 GMT -5
We have a couple of cats. They are trying a new can food from Merrick that is duck flavor. Both love it so far. One cat stands at attention waiting to get seconds and thirds.
Good luck with your cat's recovery.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 6, 2017 17:07:13 GMT -5
It's OK, petrushka. I wasn't angry with you. Not even a little, and not even when that discussion was brand new. The only reason I even brought it up again is because it's such a weird coincidence, that's all. I met the man today, and we got along pretty well. But it's too soon to say if this will be "it" or even if we'll be more than friends. There's actually another guy I met earlier in the week who I liked a little better. But it's too soon to tell about him, too. |
|
|
|
Post by warmways on May 6, 2017 17:59:12 GMT -5
SK I came in late to this conversation but I'm so glad your cats feeling better.I also don't have kids but have two cats who I love In that 'maternal' way. Its great you're having fun dating. I hope you have a good weekend!
|
|
|
|
Post by petrushka on May 7, 2017 5:11:48 GMT -5
It's OK, petrushka . I wasn't angry with you. Not even a little, and not even when that discussion was brand new. The only reason I even brought it up again is because it's such a weird coincidence, that's all. I met the man today, and we got along pretty well. But it's too soon to say if this will be "it" or even if we'll be more than friends. There's actually another guy I met earlier in the week who I liked a little better. But it's too soon to tell about him, too. I've actually just had a 'of course!' moment. Because, really, the cats are only peripheral to the question in my mind. That need not be about pets. What about the person for whom facebook is more important than anything else. Or their first person shooter on the computer. Or whatever else they are into. Their porn collection. Their chat-rooms. Their religion, their politics ... I seem to remember relating here, or on EP, the story about the woman I was interested in who told me that she could not have a relationship at the moment because activism was more important, demonstrating against Germany selling submarines to Chile was her concern du jour. Really? Fscking submarines for Chile? I mean, they're not the type, generally, who go blowing international shipping out of the oceans, so why care? Even while Pinochet was a fascist dictator, he could not use them against his own people. So let him have them .... Anyway. So, upon further thought, the question I was thinking about is really boiling down to: where are that other person's priorities, and where do I set mine, do I have things in my life that are more important than "the woman of my dreams". I think not, but the proof is in the pudding ... Vice versa: What things do they have (self preservation aside, that's a given) that they hold as more important than having a relationship with me. We've heard it so many times "He always sits at his computer and doesn't even acknowledge my presence" - "she sits in bed with her ipad and ignores everything that goes on in the room" .... it's about where people set priorities. In a way I think we have touched on this in our 'red flag' discussions way way back. Still, I think it's worthy of consideration. Because it's just too easy, as most of us have found out, to jump head first into unknown waters. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on May 7, 2017 9:03:35 GMT -5
petrushka, I think I understand better now. And in an established relationship, I agree with you. People who allow pets, work, children, the internet, TV, etc., to dominate their lives to the point where the relationship suffers are making a big mistake. I agree with that 100%. But I wasn't talking about already existing relationships. I was talking about profiles for dating sites. My intent in that situation would be to tell prospective dates/future partners that I have a pet - BEFORE we meet, like each other, and go further. If anything about me is going to be a problem for a man, I want him to know about it sooner rather than later. Hopefully, we can avoid hurt and heartbreak that way. For example - if you know you don't find short women attractive - then, reading my height, you would know *not to start up with me in the first place.*
|
|
