Post by allworkandnoplay on Feb 17, 2022 23:19:44 GMT -5
I'm surprised that it bothers her that you don't touch her. My refuser ex used to move away from me in his sleep if I touched him. He'd literally end up sleeping on the edge of the bed. I moved to the sofa after he said, "Excuse me and walked out," when he walked in on me changing clothes in the bedroom. I eventually moved into the former bedroom of my adult son. My refuser never said a word about what I did. I guess he was relieved.
I don't understand how a fight would result from your stopping touching your wife who won't have sex with you. What's to discuss? It's a natural consequence. It seems you'd be happier if you moved out of the bedroom. It's not as if she could do anything about it except perhaps complain, but you don't have to respond. After all, you are basically just roommates.
I disengaged, stopped all of the pretense, and just treated everything matter-of-fact. There was no more touch of any kind, even incidental. STBX never complained or asked why. But she did complain if I even tried to move out of the marital bedroom. I never could figure that one out. I guess she was still somehow hanging on to some vision of what a married couple is supposed to look like on the outside.
Now that we are divorcing, I have asked her and she says she lost her feeling after I pulled away. I know this is BS because I disengaged because of her refusing (and attitude in general), but it is not something I need to argue about any longer. I'm getting out with her blessing and that is all that matters at this moment.