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Update
Aug 29, 2023 16:27:21 GMT -5
via mobile
jerri likes this
Post by casual777 on Aug 29, 2023 16:27:21 GMT -5
I have decided to come off the polyamory website and social media up which connects me to the group meets individuals and try to concentrate on my marriage and parenting . Not sure how long I ll
Last but for now it 100 per cent feels like the right decision
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Update
Aug 29, 2023 20:32:47 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by jerri on Aug 29, 2023 20:32:47 GMT -5
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Post by Apocrypha on Aug 30, 2023 11:23:52 GMT -5
Yours will be the first recovery I've heard of with no ultimatum having been presented. ? "Honey, I'm headed out to boff so-and-so on Friday", is most definitely a consequence (boffing someone else) attached to a behavior (you not boffing me), which seems a distinction without a difference from an ultimatum. |
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Post by Apocrypha on Aug 30, 2023 11:57:14 GMT -5
What I learned from my foray into polyamory in the context of a sex-averse marriage was that I can resolve the problem of having sex in my life again, and feeling desired by a person, but that I'm still left with sexless marriage. When I come home, where I live - when I go to bed - I'm still in a relationship that is posing as a marriage when it is not.
I would liken the polyamory to be like taking a Caribbean vacation from my home in a polluted slum. I can leave that slum and find other places to enjoy, but 99% of my life is still in a slum. It doesn't mean the vacation isn't enjoyable. It just doesn't change the problem I'm facing and how I feel when I'm there.
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Post by mirrororchid on Aug 30, 2023 20:02:56 GMT -5
Yours will be the first recovery I've heard of with no ultimatum having been presented. ? "Honey, I'm headed out to boff so-and-so on Friday", is most definitely a consequence (boffing someone else) attached to a behavior (you not boffing me), which seems a distinction without a difference from an ultimatum. See, I must've lost track of the conversation somewhere. While casual777 was outsourcing, I don't see where it was said that his wife knew about it. It is possible she found out, knew why it happened, and tested whether she could make him stop with actions rather than loud words. If he did inform her of his extramarital trysts, then it could be present a fifth case of recovery out of the five instances of informing a spouse of outsourcing, followed by a reset. |
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Update
Aug 31, 2023 9:08:01 GMT -5
Post by Apocrypha on Aug 31, 2023 9:08:01 GMT -5
? "Honey, I'm headed out to boff so-and-so on Friday", is most definitely a consequence (boffing someone else) attached to a behavior (you not boffing me), which seems a distinction without a difference from an ultimatum. See, I must've lost track of the conversation somewhere. While casual777 was outsourcing, I don't see where it was said that his wife knew about it. It is possible she found out, knew why it happened, and tested whether she could make him stop with actions rather than loud words. If he did inform her of his extramarital trysts, then it could be present a fifth case of recovery out of the five instances of informing a spouse of outsourcing, followed by a reset. Ah sorry - I may have misunderstood. When I saw "polyamory" rather than "affair", I assumed that transparency was on the table because that's a key part of what distinguishes it from an affair, or from a bunch of affairs. I suppose it's a "grey area" if he was having affairs within a polyamorous group. If an affair is the case, I'd liken it to buying your divorce on a credit card. The consequence has happened, but the partner hasn't been informed yet. That bill is coming though, with interest. |
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