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Post by aquacat on Sept 4, 2023 19:40:21 GMT -5
I started looking at toys for men to try to replicate the actual deed. I’d like to find one that simulates oral sex since my wife has a huge aversion to that.
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Post by toughtiger on Sept 8, 2023 0:35:31 GMT -5
I started looking at toys for men to try to replicate the actual deed. I’d like to find one that simulates oral sex since my wife has a huge aversion to that. I was not a big fan of oral but did it ... he said i was good but i hated it .... now if i had a chance with my long distance friend i would not even hesitate even took a online tutorial lol I see that as i am more willing to please someone who would reciprocate.
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Post by greatcoastal on Sept 8, 2023 4:14:57 GMT -5
I started looking at toys for men to try to replicate the actual deed. I’d like to find one that simulates oral sex since my wife has a huge aversion to that. I was not a big fan of oral but did it ... he said i was good but i hated it .... now if i had a chance with my long distance friend i would not even hesitate even took a online tutorial lol I see that as i am more willing to please someone who would reciprocate. Sounds like you're learning a 'life lesson' about giving and receiving? It's a continues lesson that I am struggling with. Many of us who are involved in a SM are big givers, but when it comes to receiving (taking) we are terrible at it! Why do you think that is? A mentor friend of mine told me this, " when you give to someone you do receive something back. It may not be what you want, but you do get something back." I find that many times it's my own fault for continually allowing myself to be treated this way. By putting others way ahead of myself, I put myself last, so I kind of deserve it! Back to some old sayings " ask and you shall receive" and " to the bold go the prizes!" . _ God loves a cheerful giver- well if days, weeks, years later you're not cheerful about it, if you hated it, regret it, then you have to ask yourself_ was I REALLY a very cheerful giver? Or in simpler terms that I can understand, I needed to start TAKING and not feel the slightest guilt about it. That I deserve it! Heck, if I don't think I deserve it why should others? And who wants to be around someone who is always needing pity. The day you stand up for yourself and begin to say " NO I hated doing that and won't do it anymore" you've been honest with yourself and others around you! You gain the respect that's been missing. This goes back to my failed marriage and how codependant I was. I blame myself for that. For falling to deep into all those old sayings " happy wife happy life- the woman is always right- cheaper to keep her- if mom ain't happy ain't nobody happy- don't rock the boat".....all a bunch of bunk!! ( the same goes for you, only in reverse regarding your husband!) Start taking and don't feel guilty about it! It also teaches you ( and anyone else involved) how to be an effective communicator!
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Post by toughtiger on Sept 8, 2023 9:44:21 GMT -5
greatcoastal i get what you are saying... i had no problem... when i chose to do it ......but not when he wanted to just do that as frankly he NEVER did in return. Yes i think those who are in a SM are givers to even put up with this... and i think if there is NO return or pathetic returns ... people no longer want to give.
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Post by aquacat on Sept 8, 2023 10:31:03 GMT -5
I started looking at toys for men to try to replicate the actual deed. I’d like to find one that simulates oral sex since my wife has a huge aversion to that. I was not a big fan of oral but did it ... he said i was good but i hated it .... now if i had a chance with my long distance friend i would not even hesitate even took a online tutorial lol I see that as i am more willing to please someone who would reciprocate. I could see my wife being like that except I gladly do that for her and if she did do it for me I wouldn't hesitate one bit to reciprocate. Hearing and seeing a woman enjoying it is a turn on for me. Because she doesn't really want to have sex in general though, I have noticed my desire for her has dwindled and usually when I try to initiate or ask, it's because I cave to my own desires and I feel horrible for even trying.
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