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Post by lessingham on Jun 17, 2023 2:10:11 GMT -5
My wife said yesterday it was our sapphire wedding anniversary this year but did not want sapphires.
Does this mean she does not want sapphires?
Or I better damn right get her sapphires?
Or get a gift of the same value as sapphires?
I feel like getting her a card
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 17, 2023 5:38:24 GMT -5
wow lessingham,....I had to look it up. 45yrs...
Now to answer your question.....I have't got a clue....
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Post by mirrororchid on Jun 19, 2023 5:41:23 GMT -5
My wife said yesterday it was our sapphire wedding anniversary this year but did not want sapphires. Does this mean she does not want sapphires? Or I better damn right get her sapphires? Or get a gift of the same value as sapphires? I feel like getting her a card Once upon a time, I'd always thought sapphires were blue. A jeweler disabused me of my simplification. They can be anything but red, as it turns out. Perhaps she's warning you off the color blue. Does she avoid wearing blue? This may be her aversion. Is jewelry a semi-common gift? Expected? Delightful? A source of guilt? ("We can't afford this"?) This last one being her sentiment, not yours. Does she buy jewelry for herself? Are semi-precious stones a choice? What is her second favorite stone? What is her second favorite kind of jewelry (earrings, necklace, bracelet, nipple ring, etc.)? Combining these two might seem thoughtful, as opposed to statistical application. Suck-o-rama if you buy something for hundreds (thousands?  ) of dollars and it's met with "meh". Maybe she won't mind if you ask her to pick out a bunch and you can surprise her with which one. (never pick the least expensive) Do semi-precious stones fill the bill? Do you know her taste in jewelry? Given your current condition, perhaps no jewelry suits the occasion. Does it matter if she's hinting? Maybe not. Your hints were ignored. She expects results from this shit? OTOH, it could be scientifically interesting to see the reaction if you can afford a really stupid gesture of wealth display and transference. Does it change her demeanor? Are "gifts" a key love language of hers? (God help ya, if it is.) Of course, it may be very foolish to consider it if your finances are weak. Caveat emptor: You may be taking advice from a cynic; a common hazard at ILIASM. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 23, 2023 20:03:42 GMT -5
Given your long history with this abusive woman, a card sounds perfect, maybe along with a box of chocolates or even some chocolate milk mix.
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 25, 2023 18:56:23 GMT -5
My wife said yesterday it was our sapphire wedding anniversary this year but did not want sapphires. Does this mean she does not want sapphires? Or I better damn right get her sapphires? Or get a gift of the same value as sapphires? I feel like getting her a card And....what do you want for YOUR anniversary? (it takes two to Tango!) Do you want and expect sapphires? Should she better damn right get YOU sapphires? ( why not?) Or get you a gift of even greater value since she values you SO much? ( said with ...what should be sincerity!) Will she even get you a card? I describe myself ( and my problem) as a giver. I use the term 'giver' a lot, and tie it in with receiving. I think the word " enabler" is better, and will start using that more often! God loves a cheerful giver. What about a not so happy enabler?Are you enabling your wife again? Instead of being codependent, think of being "interdependent". For example ,the right arm is interdependent with the left arm, they work together to accomplish great things. The right foot works with the left, etc.... ( giving and receiving- BTW you're receiving, it's just not at all what you want!) Strive for "inter-dependency " in your new endeavors, while putting codependency in the past! |
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diode
Junior Member
Posts: 78 
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Post by diode on Jun 26, 2023 15:31:57 GMT -5
My wife said yesterday it was our sapphire wedding anniversary this year but did not want sapphires. Does this mean she does not want sapphires? Or I better damn right get her sapphires? Or get a gift of the same value as sapphires? I feel like getting her a card You could perhaps have presented her with your blue balls. |
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Post by deadzone75 on Jun 28, 2023 9:41:12 GMT -5
My wife said yesterday it was our sapphire wedding anniversary this year but did not want sapphires. Does this mean she does not want sapphires? Or I better damn right get her sapphires? Or get a gift of the same value as sapphires? I feel like getting her a card Do you get sex? Then I would do what she says and not get her sapphires. Who cares what she means? She hasn't given you much reason to translate anything she might say regarding a "me day". |
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Post by lessingham on Jun 29, 2023 2:41:29 GMT -5
I asked her for clearance. She means no sapphires, but maybe a gift of commesurate value. I want for nothing, except maybe my legs to work again. She hates sex for a reason, so balks at sex on anniversaries, birthdays etc.
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Post by worksforme2 on Jun 29, 2023 5:43:45 GMT -5
I asked her for clearance. She means no sapphires, but maybe a gift of commesurate value. I want for nothing, except maybe my legs to work again. She hates sex for a reason, so balks at sex on anniversaries, birthdays etc. Has she shared that reason with you? And will you share it with us? It isn't often a refuser actually puts forth the reason behind their actions. |
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Post by ironhamster on Jun 29, 2023 14:28:31 GMT -5
Should she not also give you a valuable gift also, with money she has earned by her own work? Don't you feel worthy of such a gift?
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Post by lessingham on Jul 17, 2023 2:48:40 GMT -5
I have booked a gastro pub lunch and in the evening we are going to her friend's garden party. Still no idea, or enthuiasm, about a gift.
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Post by lessingham on Jul 31, 2023 9:53:21 GMT -5
After a hair pulling session of trying to get a clue, I am going to hire a stripper called Sapphire to perform for us. Very themed methinks
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Post by northstarmom on Aug 2, 2023 9:54:57 GMT -5
Why give a gift if you're not enthusiastic about your marriage? You mainly only complain about your wife.
You are constantly stressing over trying to please people who do nothing to please you. Meanwhile, you do little to create a happy life for yourself.
What gift would you want to get? Give that gift to yourself.
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Post by lessingham on Aug 5, 2023 5:10:38 GMT -5
I bought a pair of olive trees. And why not? There is an old saying that every man should plant at least one olive tree. The gift is wuurky, eco wonderful abd with a 2000 year life span those trees will see me out.... just
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Post by petrushka on Aug 6, 2023 5:52:39 GMT -5
I bought a pair of olive trees. And why not? There is an old saying that every man should plant at least one olive tree. The gift is wuurky, eco wonderful abd with a 2000 year life span those trees will see me out.... just Ah I have shied away from olive trees ever since they became fashionable in northern NZ.
You just had me reconsidering, and then I got a clue: I actually planted a couple in the macadamia nut orchard at my farm, when a couple of macadamia seedlings didn't make it. Never saw any olives in 30 odd years, and maybe all for the better: I have been
given home processed olives by friends and found them to be pretty awful; and you need a lot of trees to get oil pressed. The pressed oil from your own trees works out about several times the price of good quality Italian or Spanish imported oil. Heh!
But, I have a nice set of salad spoons made from olive wood. I like them. Lovely grain.
strange avenues of thinking going down some rabbit hole or other .....
Oh, and, in this country, a wooden spoon has symbolic value: you give it to someone who loses a competition. Maybe a gift idea for your wife?!?
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) of dollars and it's met with "meh". Maybe she won't mind if you ask her to pick out a bunch and you can surprise her with which one. (never pick the least expensive) Do semi-precious stones fill the bill? Do you know her taste in jewelry?
