Personal Boundaries and ILIASM

@smartkat

I can't say I see much of that on SW, Kat. It's much cleaner than EP. However, these are my observations, which will be different for others.

- C

Here, the moderators have thoughtfully provided a couple of sub groups - The Lighter Side, and Sexually Speaking and Off Topic - where people can post vulgar jokes and suchlike (go have a look, there's some piss funny stuff there) without clogging up the more "serious" stuff.
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Possibly, if one looked ONLY at those sub groups, one might get the impression that vulgarity and smut are prevalent in the group "generally".
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But for a group dealing with marital sex, there is actually very little discussion of explicit sex in the "serious" sub groups.
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Maybe some people think there is a tendency to use unnecessary foul and abrupt language in general postings - well they can go get fucked.

You know what they say: if you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

I think if we want this to be a forum where 'hot' topics can and will be discussed, then you have to
apply that to your reading and writing here.
If a specific topic is 'too hot' for you, then: nobody is forcing you to read it. I am still disappointed
and sad about the circumstances of Lexus leaving us for instance. Ok, one topic way exceeded her squick
boundary. So be it. Leaving on that account? Ye gods, not really very grown up, I thought, but that's me.
If someone here starts talking about excrement, that's way out there for me, but it won't make me just
leave the site, it will make me avoid that particular topic. Right?

There's stuff on here that I think is not what I want to read, and so I just change topics. No broken bones,
no bleeding eyes. What's the big deal. Put on your big boy/big girl panties if you want to play (or NOT play
for that matter) with the grown-ups. I have little patience for fools, and very little patience with
people who display passive aggressive behaviour, here or anywhere. Too much of that in my past, and in
my life already (thankfully very little these days, and I want to keep it at that level, thanks).
If they want to fuck off, because they are offended, I'll be saying 'don't let the door hit you in the back of
the head on your way out', in time honoured usenet fashion.

If I have to be here, then I will find better ways of wasting my time. To me, this site is not some
kind of raunchy facebook like playground, and I'm not interested in that kind of thing either. But I can
look the other way so long as it doesn't take over. Levity and the odd snarky post I will relish ;-) chutney
will do as well. We all need to blow off some pressure, release some steam from time to time, and a
group of (mostly like-minded) peers seems a good venue. At least most people here will "get you".

This site is confined to iliasm so it's nice we don't get outside visitors/trolls like in EP. I also like the active enforcement of guidelines and presence of admin/mods to handle issues. Sexual content and cyber orgies do not offend me. The only topic that makes me cringe is when it involves religion.
Similar Worlds is OK, didn't see/try to look for any kinky weird stuff and it has a million groups to join like EP but relatively quiet since it is new.

Having been a member of EP also, I find this board stays on topic better.... like EP, it is dominated by a select group of frequent posters.... but I have found the discussion better and more supportive than EP. In many cases it makes more sense to stand by and observe, then slowly put a foot in the water. ,. If u don't, there are sharks here.... happened to me....

All in.... it's better than EP, and it's tough when dealing with a powerful matter like sex.... and one causing most of us a lot of hurt....

ModHatter:

"Act responsibly, be tolerant, and stand up for yourself.  We’ve got your back when you need us."

I feel attacked here by someone. He has besmirched my character. and I feel hurt and upset. I can't find a block button. Is there one?

I have stood up for myself, but I'm trying to heal, and that's why I'm here, so forgive me if I find unfounded accusations against me unpalatable and hurtful. This is a support site after all, and that's what I expect, not to have my character assassinated.

So, is there a block button, and if not how do I keep someone away from me? His unkindness (for no apparent reason) reminds me of my ex. If I wanted more abuse, I'd go back to my ex. I feel very hurt.