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Post by petrushka on Aug 1, 2016 21:09:11 GMT -5
There is a power of attorney, but especially in Florida, they are very protective of the rights of the mentally ill. One reason is that there was a famous case where parents had their 16-year-old son locked away in the Florida State Mental Hospital in Chatahootchie. The boy was locked up until he was 34 and sued to get his way out. His case went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. He was assigned to a doctor who had more than 400 other male patients. To make matters worse, the doctor was not even a psychiatrist. He was a gynecologist, assigned to treat male patients. Most mental health people would love to be able to talk to the families if they could. But the law is rather strict, and they could be sued for malpractice. That's just freaking scary. |
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endthegame
Junior Member
Posts: 96 
Age Range: 46-50
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Post by endthegame on Aug 2, 2016 16:00:21 GMT -5
This is worth a read on FOG (and FOG hoovers) - shrink4men.com/2012/03/28/hoovers-dont-let-the-crazy-suck-you-back-in/
and - shrink4men.com/2012/07/16/more-thoughts-on-fog-hoovers-and-no-contact-when-ending-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist-borderline-histrionic-andor-sociopath/
I believe it's based on this book.
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Post by tamara68 on Aug 15, 2016 5:24:39 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. He left me a note with his opinion. Translated part of it:
"I saw that you borrowed the book "emotional blackmail" by Susan Forward. I also noticed that you are trying to react differently. You of course are free to do this, but I also am allowed to give my opinion about it. Which is as follows: She's a feminist who abuses her status and knowledge as a psychologist to promote her own beliefs. Propaganda under the guise of science and therapy. As far as I know she believes that you are not responsible for the welfare of others and that you should pursue your own goals and wellbeing despite how damaging that can be to others. And if those others appeal to your conscience, ethics, the prevailing morality or threaten to penalize your selfish behavior or warn you for what it does to them or to warn you that it can have serious consequences, she calls it emotional blackmail - a weapon to take away your freedom. Then she gives simple assertiveness strategies for the 'victim' to disarm the 'culprit' that the victim wants her to continue. They thus act unethical and unchristian. We humans can only live if we care about each other. In an unchristian country you would probably be stoned at best. Not here. Here you can enjoy concern and help, despite how bad you have behaved. This stems mainly from the Christian and humanist morality dictates that you are partly responsible for the welfare of others. I reject the opinions of Susan Forward whatsoever "
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Post by eternaloptimism on Aug 15, 2016 5:46:33 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. He left me a note with his opinion. Translated part of it: "I saw that you borrowed the book "emotional blackmail" by Susan Forward. I also noticed that you are trying to react differently. You of course are free to do this, but I also am allowed to give my opinion about it. Which is as follows: She's a feminist who abuses her status and knowledge as a psychologist to promote her own beliefs. Propaganda under the guise of science and therapy. As far as I know she believes that you are not responsible for the welfare of others and that you should pursue your own goals and wellbeing despite how damaging that can be to others. And if those others appeal to your conscience, ethics, the prevailing morality or threaten to penalize your selfish behavior or warn you for what it does to them or to warn you that it can have serious consequences, she calls it emotional blackmail - a weapon to take away your freedom. Then she gives simple assertiveness strategies for the 'victim' to disarm the 'culprit' that the victim wants her to continue. They thus act unethical and unchristian. We humans can only live if we care about each other. In an unchristian country you would probably be stoned at best. Not here. Here you can enjoy concern and help, despite how bad you have behaved. This stems mainly from the Christian and humanist morality dictates that you are partly responsible for the welfare of others. I reject the opinions of Susan Forward whatsoever " Guess he wasn't impressed then! Can't believe he mentioned stoning! Scary man. Stay true and ignore him xxxxx |
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Post by unmatched on Aug 15, 2016 7:46:22 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. He left me a note with his opinion. Translated part of it: "I saw that you borrowed the book "emotional blackmail" by Susan Forward. I also noticed that you are trying to react differently. You of course are free to do this, but I also am allowed to give my opinion about it. Which is as follows: She's a feminist who abuses her status and knowledge as a psychologist to promote her own beliefs. Propaganda under the guise of science and therapy. As far as I know she believes that you are not responsible for the welfare of others and that you should pursue your own goals and wellbeing despite how damaging that can be to others. And if those others appeal to your conscience, ethics, the prevailing morality or threaten to penalize your selfish behavior or warn you for what it does to them or to warn you that it can have serious consequences, she calls it emotional blackmail - a weapon to take away your freedom. Then she gives simple assertiveness strategies for the 'victim' to disarm the 'culprit' that the victim wants her to continue. They thus act unethical and unchristian. We humans can only live if we care about each other. In an unchristian country you would probably be stoned at best. Not here. Here you can enjoy concern and help, despite how bad you have behaved. This stems mainly from the Christian and humanist morality dictates that you are partly responsible for the welfare of others. I reject the opinions of Susan Forward whatsoever " This from one of the most psychotically uncharitable, unchristian, self-centred, amoral people I can think of? |
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Post by tamara68 on Aug 15, 2016 8:59:02 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. He left me a note with his opinion. Translated part of it: This from one of the most psychotically uncharitable, unchristian, self-centred, amoral people I can think of? He lives in his own universe. |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 15, 2016 9:14:27 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. He left me a note with his opinion. Translated part of it: "I saw that you borrowed the book "emotional blackmail" by Susan Forward. I also noticed that you are trying to react differently. You of course are free to do this, but I also am allowed to give my opinion about it. Which is as follows: She's a feminist who abuses her status and knowledge as a psychologist to promote her own beliefs. Propaganda under the guise of science and therapy. As far as I know she believes that you are not responsible for the welfare of others and that you should pursue your own goals and wellbeing despite how damaging that can be to others. And if those others appeal to your conscience, ethics, the prevailing morality or threaten to penalize your selfish behavior or warn you for what it does to them or to warn you that it can have serious consequences, she calls it emotional blackmail - a weapon to take away your freedom. Then she gives simple assertiveness strategies for the 'victim' to disarm the 'culprit' that the victim wants her to continue. They thus act unethical and unchristian. We humans can only live if we care about each other. In an unchristian country you would probably be stoned at best. Not here. Here you can enjoy concern and help, despite how bad you have behaved. This stems mainly from the Christian and humanist morality dictates that you are partly responsible for the welfare of others. I reject the opinions of Susan Forward whatsoever " Holy Christ what a sanctimonious ass. He's emotionally blackmailing you over the book Emotional Blackmail! I won't take the bait on the "Christian" nation bullshit. I know his type. He's read a few popular books on Christian Apologetics and listens to The Bible Answer Man and his head swells because he loves the (in his case illusory) feeling of being right. Well he can't even write with proper grammar! LOL. A relationship with this kind of person is hopeless. You are trying to connect on an emotional level, and he responds with a (pseudo) intellectual analysis of the book and society. This is a defense. He is very well defended and emotionally retarded. There is no reaching a person like this. I know this for a fact. 25 years ago I would have written that note (with better grammar). My first wife was screaming for me emotionally and I gave her intellectual bullshit because I didn't know how to relate to someone on an emotional level. It cost me my marriage, and it would have been the same for every subsequent relationship had I not grown up. |
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 15, 2016 12:46:48 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. Seriously? Another translation: "My husband was searching my personal things when he came upon this book..." i.e., "He gave me a lengthy, unsolicited opinion about something he has no business knowing." Sorry, but who gives a flying fuck what his opinion is about a subject that he wasn't asked, which he only knows about because he violated someone else's personal space? What kind of person honestly thinks they deserve an opinion or to be heard under such circumstances? And who takes the time to snoop on their spouse, research the author of a book (but apparently not actually read it), and then write opinion letters? This is a person who is way, way too concerned with controlling you. And too chicken-shit to have a face-to-face conversation that starts with "I was searching your bags and found this thing I have an unqualified opinion about..." Again... seriously?! Drama much? Extremism? I.e., "You are so offensive that in another country I would have killed you, so you should be happy that we live here." That's where his head is at, or his comments wouldn't even have gone there. Really, this dude is not mentally balanced, to a disturbing degree. I think we've had this discussion here before. |
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Post by DryCreek on Aug 15, 2016 13:27:07 GMT -5
tamara68 , I don't know how the law works in your jurisdiction, but I'd encourage you to get legal advice on whether an order of protection is possible. At best, his notes show that his thinking is not in a safe place; at worst he is making veiled death threats. Even if no action is possible (and on the advice of counsel), there may be merit in filing a police report that you are in fear for your personal safety. This will result in him having a conversation with police and put him on notice that his bullying and violating your personal space needs to stop. You're not his property. [Edit: I just saw your Shoutbox comment. Glad to see you're accelerating things. Be safe.]
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Post by tamara68 on Aug 16, 2016 5:34:29 GMT -5
Holy Christ what a sanctimonious ass. He's emotionally blackmailing you over the book Emotional Blackmail! I won't take the bait on the "Christian" nation bullshit. I know his type. He's read a few popular books on Christian Apologetics and listens to The Bible Answer Man and his head swells because he loves the (in his case illusory) feeling of being right. Well he can't even write with proper grammar! LOL. A relationship with this kind of person is hopeless. You are trying to connect on an emotional level, and he responds with a (pseudo) intellectual analysis of the book and society. This is a defense. He is very well defended and emotionally retarded. There is no reaching a person like this. I know this for a fact. 25 years ago I would have written that note (with better grammar). My first wife was screaming for me emotionally and I gave her intellectual bullshit because I didn't know how to relate to someone on an emotional level. It cost me my marriage, and it would have been the same for every subsequent relationship had I not grown up. The grammar was better in Dutch lol, I translated it with Google translate and only edited the worst parts. He certainly is convinced he is being right, about everything. I agree with your view about him. Absolutely wonderful that you have not become like him and have grown up. |
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Post by tamara68 on Aug 16, 2016 5:39:28 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. Seriously? Another translation: "My husband was searching my personal things when he came upon this book..." i.e., "He gave me a lengthy, unsolicited opinion about something he has no business knowing." Sorry, but who gives a flying fuck what his opinion is about a subject that he wasn't asked, which he only knows about because he violated someone else's personal space? What kind of person honestly thinks they deserve an opinion or to be heard under such circumstances? And who takes the time to snoop on their spouse, research the author of a book (but apparently not actually read it), and then write opinion letters? This is a person who is way, way too concerned with controlling you. And too chicken-shit to have a face-to-face conversation that starts with "I was searching your bags and found this thing I have an unqualified opinion about..." Again... seriously?! Drama much? Extremism? I.e., "You are so offensive that in another country I would have killed you, so you should be happy that we live here." That's where his head is at, or his comments wouldn't even have gone there. Really, this dude is not mentally balanced, to a disturbing degree. I think we've had this discussion here before. I always get lengthy opinions. And so does everyone else who gets too close. He is not mentally balanced at all. But accuses me of being insane. Controlling me is his fulltime job. |
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Post by tamara68 on Aug 16, 2016 5:43:56 GMT -5
tamara68 , I don't know how the law works in your jurisdiction, but I'd encourage you to get legal advice on whether an order of protection is possible. At best, his notes show that his thinking is not in a safe place; at worst he is making veiled death threats. Even if no action is possible (and on the advice of counsel), there may be merit in filing a police report that you are in fear for your personal safety. This will result in him having a conversation with police and put him on notice that his bullying and violating your personal space needs to stop. You're not his property. [Edit: I just saw your Shoutbox comment. Glad to see you're accelerating things. Be safe.] I am getting legal advice. I will think about protection mesures. I am accelerating things now, trying to find the best and fastest way to get out. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 16, 2016 12:51:30 GMT -5
Holy Christ what a sanctimonious ass. He's emotionally blackmailing you over the book Emotional Blackmail! I won't take the bait on the "Christian" nation bullshit. I know his type. He's read a few popular books on Christian Apologetics and listens to The Bible Answer Man and his head swells because he loves the (in his case illusory) feeling of being right. Well he can't even write with proper grammar! LOL. A relationship with this kind of person is hopeless. You are trying to connect on an emotional level, and he responds with a (pseudo) intellectual analysis of the book and society. This is a defense. He is very well defended and emotionally retarded. There is no reaching a person like this. I know this for a fact. 25 years ago I would have written that note (with better grammar). My first wife was screaming for me emotionally and I gave her intellectual bullshit because I didn't know how to relate to someone on an emotional level. It cost me my marriage, and it would have been the same for every subsequent relationship had I not grown up. The grammar was better in Dutch lol, I translated it with Google translate and only edited the worst parts. He certainly is convinced he is being right, about everything. I agree with your view about him. Absolutely wonderful that you have not become like him and have grown up. Oh haha right I forgot you're not in the US. But yeah still I was like that and I knew people like that. Their wives were affairs waiting to happen. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2016 14:32:09 GMT -5
tamara68 - please stay safe! And, you don't have to care what your husband thinks of the book. His arrogance in assuming you care what he thinks amazes me.
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Post by sand5280 on Aug 21, 2016 3:44:08 GMT -5
My Stbx found the book in my bag a few days ago. He left me a note with his opinion. I'd like to think that if a book were in my personal belongings, I would be the only one to be looking at it. |
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