You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
worksforme2: Happy birthday wom360 where ever you are..... Oct 8, 2023 4:52:58 GMT -5
worksforme2: Hapy Birthday shamwow... Oct 11, 2023 6:35:10 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Happy Birthday . Sorry I'm late. Thanks for calling it out, worksforme2. Oct 12, 2023 18:18:15 GMT -5
thequietone: Ah, Friday. That day of the week where you know you're in for a weekend of shattered dreams and frustration. Happy Friday, everyone! :-) Oct 13, 2023 5:25:43 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday greatcoastal....... Oct 14, 2023 6:14:21 GMT -5
greatcoastal: Thank you for that worksforme2! I've got a full day of dance planned out. Tonight is Oct. birthday dance night! Cha- Cha-Cha!! Oct 14, 2023 15:13:57 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Second that, GreatCoastal. Hope dance night was exhausting. Yes, both ways. Oct 16, 2023 4:58:37 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy birthday misssunnybunny, where ever you are.... Oct 23, 2023 8:16:24 GMT -5
misssunnybunny: Thank you! :) Oct 23, 2023 9:13:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: know who I miss....mslowmaintenance Oct 30, 2023 8:13:04 GMT -5
worksforme2: 703 guests on the site in the last 24 hours.....wow !!!! Nov 6, 2023 11:26:16 GMT -5
jim44444: the guest count is a bit misleading but useful for gross analysis. Nov 8, 2023 9:25:02 GMT -5
jim44444: If I log in it counts 1 guest until I supply my credentials. If if log in 3 times in a day that is 3 guests but only 1 member. Nov 8, 2023 9:26:56 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday tiredoftears,...where ever you are. Nov 8, 2023 12:13:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday dd,...where ever you are. Nov 8, 2023 12:14:05 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday Vitruvius..... Nov 10, 2023 6:52:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday mirrororchid..... Nov 11, 2023 7:35:17 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Much thanks, Wfm2. Nov 13, 2023 5:04:54 GMT -5
sweetplumeria: Thank you friends for being my support! Nov 19, 2023 3:03:18 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday baza...... Nov 22, 2023 4:37:57 GMT -5
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