You've reached the "ILIASM Forum".

This is an active support community for men and women dealing with the causes and effects of living in a sexless marriage. Sexless marriages may be entirely devoid of intimacy, but the term is used clinically to include couples who engage in sex fewer than 10 times per year. The causes are many, but the effects are generally detrimental, and in some cases devastating.

What is "ILIASM"? It stands for "I Live In A Sexless Marriage".

If that applies to you, then you probably need this site.

Where can you turn for support and understanding with your sexless marriage? Counseling (both individual and marital therapy) can have some benefit, but is not a cure-all. (This is actually often discussed on the forum.) Your family and friends may not be able to understand the depth of your suffering, or you may be reluctant to share intimate details... especially if you feel no one will believe you or show due sympathy. There are books and advice websites galore which propose other ways to fix your situation.

We offer not a fix but support: first of all, the support in knowing that a normal healthy sex life is a reasonable expectation in a marriage. Second, we offer the wisdom of how to deal with the burdens you may be carrying, as we've been there, too. We'll share stories, resources, and lend an ear, a hand, or a shoulder. Third, we offer you insights and options. But only you can decide what is best for you.

This is a moderated forum: the community has posted Guidelines outlining what is allowed on the site and expectations of a supportive decorum. Volunteer moderators encourage all to provide earnest and well-meaning support. However, there is no "party line" here. There are many voices, many opinions, and many options. It is up to you to share enough of your experiences so that you can receive the input you need.

Feel free to start browsing the message boards in the forum to consider if you'd like to participate. (Non-members can read the posts, but not interact.) Membership is free, but you must be 18 years or older to register. Registered members may participate in discussions by asking questions, posting supportive answers, or commenting on other posts.

To browse now, continue to the main Forum page.


This the "Shoutbox" -- basically a site-wide, group chat. (It's only visible to members.)
angelwanderer: Mirrororchid: I've contacted "Elissa" and passed on your information. Thanks for dropping by my site and letting me know. Dec 4, 2022 19:30:30 GMT -5
worksforme2: Merry Christmas everyone.... Dec 25, 2022 6:50:45 GMT -5
tamara68: Happy birthday ! Dec 31, 2022 6:34:15 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday icemen.... Jan 10, 2023 7:07:13 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday flashjohn, where ever you are... Jan 17, 2023 5:24:42 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday catlover,.... Jan 23, 2023 6:02:23 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday adixie4you2know.... Jan 26, 2023 7:38:49 GMT -5
mirrororchid: Released! Episode 19 - "The Vow Series: LOVE (Addendum)" at the *REFUSED* podcast: refusedpodcast.com Jan 30, 2023 7:12:08 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday idgaf96,.... Feb 1, 2023 7:13:57 GMT -5
sophia: Hi. Feb 2, 2023 4:07:48 GMT -5
sophia: I am Sophia and I'm new here..any suggestions? Feb 2, 2023 4:09:59 GMT -5
diode: Hi some new members post an introduction at: iliasm.org/thread/2/introduce Feb 2, 2023 18:04:00 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday TMD,..... Feb 4, 2023 8:14:56 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday lessingham,.... Feb 16, 2023 11:23:35 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday muzack,.... Feb 16, 2023 11:24:28 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday darktippedrose, wherever you are,.... Feb 16, 2023 11:25:56 GMT -5
mirrororchid: "The thing that really shifted things for me was going from asking: 'What’s wrong with him? Why does he act this way?' to 'What’s wrong with me for putting up with it?' --NYartGal - Feb 18, 2023 Feb 20, 2023 7:14:50 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday ..the full moon... Mar 2, 2023 6:18:07 GMT -5
worksforme2: Happy Birthday JMX,...where ever you are Mar 9, 2023 6:32:12 GMT -5
want-to-be-wanted: Happy St Patrick's Day, y'all! 🍀🇮🇪 Mar 17, 2023 8:58:18 GMT -5 *
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