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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2016 21:31:59 GMT -5
He depends on you for an income? Why can't he get a job & support himself? There is a lot wrong with him. He has OCD and has a lot of physical problems too. I think he could work parttime if he had to, but I doubt that he will manage to find a job let alone keep it. He is an extreme perfectionist. What he does will be good, but it will be far to slow to please any employer. Initially he has been looking for a job for a long time, but back than he couldn't find any. Besides he looked extremely skinny and tired. Someone even asked him once if he had aids. (He doesn't have that of course). He gave up trying. We decided that I would be the breadwinner and he would be the houseman and stay-at-home dad. I agreed because I just didn't have much hope for succes for his job hunting and I didn't see the problem yet. Now he says I can't leave him because I have agreed with it that he stayed at home. Now he pretends that he gave up a career so that I can have a job. That is not the way I see it. Brace yourself, he's going to try to ride the "lost career" train all the way to a sweet alimony settlement. Don't fool around with free consultations. Get referrals and get the best lawyer you can afford. Easier said than done I know. |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 15, 2016 2:20:51 GMT -5
Thanks, I will. Luckily he won't get the best lawyer. Since he has no income, he is entitled to a lawyer who is payed partially by the state. But the best lawyers are not available this way.
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Post by DryCreek on Apr 15, 2016 9:09:11 GMT -5
Thanks, I will. Luckily he won't get the best lawyer. Since he has no income, he is entitled to a lawyer who is payed partially by the state. But the best lawyers are not available this way. That's interesting. We have "public defenders" here to help with criminal cases when you can't hire a lawyer, but I don't think the same entitlement exists for civil. It's an obligatory service, and I think the better lawyers have a way to buy their way out of the service time (like, by paying a less-experienced lawyer to do their service). |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 15, 2016 9:22:01 GMT -5
We have public defenders too for criminal cases, but is not for all sort of civil cases. Divorce is one of the things where you are entitled to a lawyer when you have no income or when it is extremely low. Lawyers here are not obligated do this. So I think that only about 50% of the lawyers offer this service.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2016 10:50:06 GMT -5
We have public defenders too for criminal cases, but is not for all sort of civil cases. Divorce is one of the things where you are entitled to a lawyer when you have no income or when it is extremely low. Lawyers here are not obligated do this. So I think that only about 50% of the lawyers offer this service. Well, I guess I am a bit old-fashioned, or maybe it's because I am a Texan, but a man who refuses to work is not much of a man to me. |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 18, 2016 2:57:46 GMT -5
Well, I guess I am a bit old-fashioned, or maybe it's because I am a Texan, but a man who refuses to work is not much of a man to me. Would you feel the same about a stay-out-home mom? I don't care that much about gender roles. But I have to admit that indeed I think he is not much of a man to me. He does have a lot of mental and physical problems that make it more difficult to have a job, but he doesn't do the right things to make the best of it and to heal what can be healed. I hate it to depend on someone and I hate it just as much that he depends on me. |
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Post by tamara68 on Apr 25, 2016 4:05:18 GMT -5
At any case, Dan I believe that for the peace of mind necessary for you to look forward to the new chapter in your life post-divorce without so much sense of guilt, it is important to offer your ex partner a fair deal and to ensure that they will not end up impoverished by the divorce. The other way around, doesn't seem so fair either! A fair deal, is what I hope for too. It is fair to offer my future ex a reasonable alimony, but most likely both of us will end up poor anyway. |
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