"The Book of Life" website ("nice guys and sexual thoughts")

Thanks, @dan and @fiery- I book marked the site. Looks like lots of good reads. I quickly scanned and read this article.

www.thebookoflife.org/why-we-go-cold-on-our-partners/

"But the-self-that-loves within a relationship is not the normal adult we know from other zones of our lives. We may mostly be hugely resourceful and resilient, but the person who loves is an infinitely more vulnerable being."

I also really enjoyed this article. Especially for those relationships where so much is right and maybe a little better communication can save it. I have come to realize, especially after this recent hurricane, that my marriage is past the point of saving. 

www.thebookoflife.org/artificial-conversations/

Mr. Rodgers for the adult neighborhood.

Loved the cartoon penis punching the testicle bag!

Personally, I think this term "nice guy" gets applied very very loosely, particularly where it is a self bestowed label.
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As often as not, it is a self applied title, which is then used to explain / justify a choice or course of action (or inaction).
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An example
"I am a nice guy, so I can't possibly upset my avoidant spouse by calling her to account".
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Being a "nice guy" actually has jack shit to do with it.
It would be far more accurate to say -
"I am a guy, very averse to conflict in a relationship, if I called my avoidant spouse to account, there would be conflict - which I detest - so I choose not to do so"
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The primary problem here is NOT "being a nice guy". Rather, it is being "averse to conflict".
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In the linked video scenario, it comes across (to me anyway) as being pretty similar, although in these scenarios, the primary problem seems to be passivity, NOT "being a nice guy".
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Personally, I know that in relationships past, I was very averse to conflict. And also pretty passive.
These traits, in my deal with Ms enna, I have, and continue to, work on as they are not at all helpful traits in our dynamic. She likes to get things out in the open, discuss them and resolve them. So do I these days.
I am, slowly, unlearning my old, and learning anew the present.
And, I have a fair way still to go in this regard.
I am still fairly conflict averse, and by nature still fairly passive.
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Now, as a sidebar, I would also lay claim to being a "nice guy", kids and dogs seem to like me, so do my friends, I get on well with my work colleagues for the most part and my neighbours and all. But I don't have too much trouble with being assertive.
Of course other peoples assessment of me might be quite different. They might think "smartarse" is a more accurate label than "nice guy", and they may well be correct.
In that case, I would be a smartarse with an aversion to conflict and with a degree of passivity.
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What I am attempting to get at here is that things like "aversion to conflict" and "passivity" ARE real problems (and can be managed).
"Being a nice guy" is NOT a real problem in and of itself.
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Nice guys still make difficult choices.
No one gets a pass on choice.
Nice guys don't. Nor do arseholes. Nor do smartarses. Nor those averse to conflict. Nor those with passive natures.

+1000
Possibly my most favorite Baz posting ever!