Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2016 15:28:35 GMT -5
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Post by baza on Oct 25, 2016 17:44:12 GMT -5
Here's an example of paring things back to the facts and letting the emotional air out of the balloon.
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First, the chicks summary of the situation in her own words -
"The choice I have in front of me is this: Spend the rest of my life with the love of my life, but childless and sexless, or spend the rest of my life without the love of my life, which feels like dying (even though I know it isn’t)"
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Suggested revision
"The choice I have in front of me is this: Spend the foreseeable future with this bloke childless and sexless, or spend the foreseeable future without this bloke"
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To me, if you take the emotive words out of the statement, it all looks so much clearer.
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In our common situations, we DO have an emotional dog in the fight, and that influences us, unsurprisingly.
But, IF you can take an objective view of the facts, the picture invariably looks clearer.
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It is VERY difficult to take an unemotional and objective view of ones own situation, but it is imperative that you at least try to do so.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2016 22:56:12 GMT -5
"I suspect your recovery speed will be in direct proportion to your willingness to let go of the idea that he (and the attendant rejection, paranoia and tears) is truly right for you."
Reminds me of a lot of people on EP and here who would come in gushing about how wonderful their refusing spouse is, before launching into a litany of the woe this exemplary mate has caused them. This woman was even bait and switched, and she STILL thinks he's the love of her life. Some people seem to be desperate to believe they have found true love, even if circumstances and their emotional state indicate otherwise.
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