Intimacy Lifestyle

I'm all for scheduling sex, and for the same day every week. It is very interesting in that your body gets used to it like it does with your eating schedule. At your usual dinner time, your stomach starts growling. The night before you normally have your planned sex, you start feeling little tinglies in your loins, and your sexual desire level starts going up. It's a basic biological urge like consuming food, so your body comes to expect it. Troubled marriages that aren't dead yet would benefit greatly from this. For that matter so would good marriages.

If you end up leaving your ILIASM shithole and find yourself in a good deal, this is one way to keep it that way.

This is also a good way to assess if there is any hope for your marriage. An old joke is brought to mind where at the end of the service the pastor says, "Next week, we will begin a new part of our service where we will all greet the person next to us and tell them, God bless you." As the congregants rose to leave, Mrs. Smith turned to Mrs. Jones and said, "God bless you." To which Mrs. Jones frowned and replied, "That doesn't start until next week!"

If you get this kind of response upon daring to suggest sex on a day other than your planned day, a miracle may be required to save your marriage.

"If" you have a spouse who is amenable to the concept of discussing sex, scheduling it even, and generally taking a healthy view of the whole thing, then I'll guarantee you something.
You ain't a member here.
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"If" your deal was fixable, by the "scented candles" strategy, or the "scheduled sex" strategy, or the "40 beads" strategy, then it was fixed quite some distance back, when you tried those things and they worked.
If you tried those things already (and I would posit that just about every member here DID try those things and other variants on the theme) and they didn't work, you know that your deal is very much at the arse end of the dysfunctional marriage demographic. And your odds of that changing are appalling.
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However, in the extraordinarily unlikely event that you just woke up one morning and on a whim googled 'sexless marriage' without trying the strategies appropriate to such a stale / jaded dynamic, then PLEASE, give said strategies a go.
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For that matter, if you are still in any doubt - today - that your deal is an ILIASM shithole, then give these strategies a go.
Your results will tell you a whole lot.

At this point I've listened to a few of the One Extraordinary Marriage podcasts. Well... they're OK. Not earth shattering. At least, not for me.

I'm interested to hear their "Seven Days of Sex Challenge" (as it seems to be their "signature bit"), but at this point I have low hopes that it will be the medicine my marriage needs at this time.

Stumbled across this on their website:

oneextraordinarymarriage.com/19-questions-to-amazing-sex-with-your-spouse/

Might actually be useful to couples whose love life has noticeably lost its "heat" (but is still present). But I think the main way it will "work" is not what you expect. Sure, it will help get on the table many useful things; it will be wonderful if there is lots of overlap, and will be informative in the areas where the couple differ.

But my take is -- even if there are a lot of differences -- any couple that can get through the WHOLE list being 100% honest is in GREAT SHAPE. After all, my wife of 28 years have BARELY talked about SOME of these. THAT is more telling than anything!