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Post by Dan on Mar 25, 2016 13:15:09 GMT -5
Note that you: - Don't HAVE to use the "Quote" button. You can just scroll to the end of the discussion thread, and type in the "Quick Reply" box... then click the "Post Quick Reply" button.
- However, if you are in the middle of a long thread, and you want to specifically agree/disagree/elaborate/deflate a SPECIFIC comment or post -- that is a GOOD TIME to use the "Quote" button... so your readers know what you are referring to.
- If you DO use the quote feature -- it is best to EDIT the quote down to the small portion you are actually commenting on. For example, I quoted misssunnybunny, and reduced the quoted text to just "Looks like it worked!"
If you want extra fine control, click the "BBCode" tab at the bottom. You can directly edit the markup (called "BBCode"), then return to the preview tab for WYSIWYG editing. |
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Post by sand5280 on Mar 25, 2016 13:17:40 GMT -5
The migration continues from EP. I was only on there one month before we got the boot, but things are looking up.
Hello to everyone!
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Post by misssunnybunny on Mar 25, 2016 15:40:12 GMT -5
Note that you: - Don't HAVE to use the "Quote" button. You can just scroll to the end of the discussion thread, and type in the "Quick Reply" box... then click the "Post Quick Reply" button.
- However, if you are in the middle of a long thread, and you want to specifically agree/disagree/elaborate/deflate a SPECIFIC comment or post -- that is a GOOD TIME to use the "Quote" button... so your readers know what you are referring to.
- If you DO use the quote feature -- it is best to EDIT the quote down to the small portion you are actually commenting on. For example, I quoted misssunnybunny, and reduced the quoted text to just "Looks like it worked!"
If you want extra fine control, click the "BBCode" tab at the bottom. You can directly edit the markup (called "BBCode"), then return to the preview tab for WYSIWYG editing. Thanks for this. New format for us all (or most?) to learn and the more info the better. =) |
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Post by smilin61 on Mar 25, 2016 17:44:57 GMT -5
Hi y'all. This feels a bit like going into a new bar. You know lots of the people there but you are not quite sure where everything is... LOL!!!  Cheers! I joined ILIASM many moons ago and have formed some great friendships. I am SO grateful for the work you put into this forum- and for the heads up. THANK YOU, Dan!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2016 19:54:22 GMT -5
It's very nice of you to set up this forum. I only found it recently. I recently moved out after 5.5 years of celibacy. I also have written about my sexless marriage here. www.thecelibatehusband.wordpress.com |
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TheBumble
Junior Member
Posts: 97 
Age Range: 51-55
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Post by TheBumble on Mar 25, 2016 19:59:50 GMT -5
Currently HMRypsi61.........I joined EP in 2012, gleaned a lot of info, then went off to sulk.........I came back a year or two later under a new name (which I can't remember), did some reading, then went off to ponder.........now I'm back to get that final push, then ride off to OppositeLand.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2016 21:28:57 GMT -5
Hi. I was one of the first dozen or so members to join the old EP group 9 years ago.
Like many of the other sexless marriage discussion groups I've been on since the late 90's I didn't have the best of luck on there and quit then rejoined a few times after clashing with a number of regulars over the years. Hope this one will be more accepting and friendly to those who decided to stay on in their sexless marriages and I hope there will be more discussion on how to cope with the situation over the long term. More people stay in sexless marriages than leave them and this fact should be recognized and respected.
I have sexual preferences that are not conducive to marriage, something I didn't know until I got married in 1990 and entered into therapy. The marriage was sexless almost immediately, actually the sex had dwindled down to almost nothing before the wedding but we felt it was a problem that could be fixed in therapy. We started in therapy right after the wedding and we both went to a number of therapists over 6 years and then my wife got fed up so I kept going on my own for another few years. None of the therapists were able to help us. I was physically unable to have sex with my wife even if I wanted to and I did try, many times with no luck.
After we realized there would be no sex in the marriage we decided to stay together and managed to conceive 2 kids without intercourse with the help of a fertility clinic. I suggested an open marriage to my wife but she refused. We both have strong sex drives but mine is a desire problem. I can function sexually in non intimate relationships but unable to in any kind of committed relationship, that much we did get from therapy.
Other than the lack of sex the marriage is good. We are a great parenting team, good friends who get along very well and even work together.
It hasn't been easy. Even though I have a psychologically unusual desire profile I do have a normal, if not greater than normal sex drive and do want sex and I will admit to trying to find sex elsewhere over the years without engaging in any kind of relationship but that is very difficult to find so I've been pretty much sexless for the last 20+ years. some days I am really climbing the walls craving some skin to skin contact with a woman.
I wish I could have had it all- love, sex and a family but I guess I'm just not lucky that way.
I have never discussed this with anyone other than my therapists and like most sexless people I seek some comfort and understanding online but haven't had much luck there either in the last 16 years as most members of the various sexless marriage groups I've belonged to brand me as an enemy Refuser even if I try to explain that I too suffer from sexual loneliness and sexual dysfunctions that happen in close intimate relations with women are something I have not been able to treat with therapy.
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Post by tinymouse on Mar 25, 2016 21:55:53 GMT -5
TinyMouse here. It royally sucks about EP
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Post by xmissjadedx on Mar 26, 2016 1:46:10 GMT -5
I've been in and out of iliasm. I started lurking around 2009 and have always came back here. There are so many great things I have learned and carry into my relationships that help me sometimes breathe life into it. I'm glad you decided to keep it going. This was the first group I joined on ep.
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Post by petrushka on Mar 26, 2016 23:36:00 GMT -5
I'd be tempted to write a novel-length post if I were to 'introduce myself'. So I'll say 'hi' instead.
When I married S. it was a good thing, and it turned out to be a terrible thing. She is in some ways exactly the woman I would want to have a relationship with, honest to a fault, committed, participating, willing to communicate and share, take on more than her share of the burdens, responsible, true to her friends, faithful.
She is also the woman from an emotionally abusive family who got a very warped view of how relationships should work, who developed neurotic armor stronger than German steel, is terrified of strong feelings, loud voices ... not in a rabbit-having-a-heart-attack kind of terrified, she just can't deal with it and the bunker gets buttoned down.
She's relaxed an incredible amount over the last 18 years. Yet, since strong feelings are terrifying, she can't let that happen, which leaves me .... stranded. Sad, wistful at times. She doesn't know the difference between having sex and making love, and whenever I have attempted the latter, she has gone into hiding. Or struggled out of my arms, or tried to laugh it off. What a loss. And none of the former for now some 13 years.
The abuse is gone, stuff she brought with her from her father. EP helped me identify what was going on as a process, I was able to confirm with her friends and my friends that I was not going insane, and we got that sorted.
And I have arrived at the station that I have to be responsible for my happiness, and I can't hold myself responsible for hers, because it is not my place.
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Post by tamara68 on Mar 27, 2016 4:52:19 GMT -5
Hi, Tamara68 here.
I am glad the EP ILIASM has found a new place.
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Post by stayinginthegame on Mar 27, 2016 19:32:50 GMT -5
Hi, I'm Stayinginthegame (SITG) from EP. Good to see familiar names here.  |
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Post by lightblueeyes on Mar 27, 2016 20:58:39 GMT -5
Hi everyone... this is Dan (dan13732) from EP. I hope you all are well... and that this site continues to serve the ILIASM community, both those arriving from EP (the former "Experience Project" site) as well as newcomers. Hi, Everyone: Thanks for putting this site together. It is good to "see" many familiar friends here. |
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Post by lightblueeyes on Mar 27, 2016 20:59:48 GMT -5
Hey, Kat! Good to see you here, my friend! |
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Post by lightblueeyes on Mar 27, 2016 21:11:50 GMT -5
Hi, Everyone:
It lightblueeyes here. I was sorry to read about EP closing down, but I guess that is the nature of the beast and the times we are in now.
I stumbled upon EP in February, 2014 after Googling "sexless marriage". At the time, I was in a miserable sexless marriage with a very selfish man. We were married in 1999, began having issues during the honeymoon (sexual ones) and totally stopped having sexual relations 6 months into the marriage. I always thought I would stay in the marriage, regardless of how miserable it was. Luckily for me, reading the stories on EP and befriending people who were in marriages like mine helped me to see that I didn't have to stay, that I deserved better. I filed for divorce in October, 2014 and couldn't be happier. I remained on EP so I could share my experiences with others, especially my friends, and those who are still trapped in their God-awful marriages. Many of my experiences deal with finding myself after leaving a sexless marriage, in addition to my experiences in the dating world.
It is good to see so many familiar names here. I am not a computer whiz by any means, so please bear with me if a post ends up in the wrong place (or whatever.). For any new friends, I will try to link my EP stories in my profile page here.
I am looking forward to continued communications with my old friends, as well as making new ones here.
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