|
|
Post by petrushka on Dec 9, 2016 16:54:04 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by nancyb on Dec 9, 2016 17:49:32 GMT -5
petrushka: I has my eyes opened to the realities of the 'festive season' when I worked in the ER. Lots of victims of domestic violence over the holidays. Even in happy homes it is not all candy canes and eggnog. The expectations are just too high sometimes. Like me waiting in vain for my christmas sex to materialize. Still waiting...
|
|
|
|
Post by obobfla on Dec 10, 2016 0:22:26 GMT -5
I was saddened when Greg Lake of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer died this past week, but it seems he had a happier life than his bandmate Keith Emerson. He had a great Christmas song "I Believe in Father Christmas" on how the holiday can never live up to its hype. Having been born and raised in Florida, I immediately related to the song.
Christmas raised mixed feelings for me. There are fake snowflakes everywhere, and people singing about "riding in a one-horse sleigh." I only had one White Christmas in my life when I visited family in New Jersey. Never been in a sleigh, one-horse or otherwise. We always wondered how Santa Claus delivered presents since we had no chimney or fireplace. I'm supposed to remember Christmases past which were never really in my past. Even though I grew up in a large, close knit family, Christmas was never as happy as it was supposed to be. I hate most Christmas carols. I want to say "Fuck you Andy Williams! It is not the most wonderful time of the year!"
Anyway, enjoy Greg, his son, and Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson perform the song in a London church with a choir.
|
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on Dec 10, 2016 11:33:49 GMT -5
She gives a whole different version of the Nutcracker.  |
|
|
|
Post by JonDoe on Dec 10, 2016 11:55:21 GMT -5
petrushka: I has my eyes opened to the realities of the 'festive season' when I worked in the ER. Lots of victims of domestic violence over the holidays. Even in happy homes it is not all candy canes and eggnog. The expectations are just too high sometimes. Like me waiting in vain for my christmas sex to materialize. Still waiting... Never had sex on Christmas Day while married and my STBX thinks I'm perverted for wanting to have sex on such a holy day. |
|
|
|
Post by tamara68 on Dec 10, 2016 16:41:11 GMT -5
To me Christmas does not have many good memories too. My father was often agressive, At home he lived out his work frustrations. And at Christmas he couldn't handle the stress of things needing to be festive. Most of the times my mother put a lot of effort in making it nice an my father got angry at something. Smashing things. Christmas decorations for example, once he knocked down the christmas tree. That was the last time we had one in my parental home. My parents in law were also very uptight at christmas. fake joy and obligated to be happy or else.... In the early days of living with my stbx Christmas has been okay a couple of times, but always problems with our parents. Later we had many of those horrible christmases too. When my daughter was nearly 3 years old, my dad and my stbx had a fight shortly after Christmas. That was the last time my daughter saw my parents because my horrible husband made it impossible and I was stuck in between and didn't feel able to do anything sensible. The grieve that caused for me and my mother was immense. It also made me feel detached from my husband. Looking back, that was when I started to give up on him. I wish I had done that a lot faster. And now I am alone at Christmas. Today I have decorated a christmas tree. first time since years. ![]()  |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2016 23:41:30 GMT -5
tamara68, what a pretty tree! This year I put up a tree - just a little one - for the first time in at least 3 years. It was really cool to realize this year that I'm finally happy enough to *want* to put up some Xmas decorations.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2016 23:43:35 GMT -5
As you can see, the tree is really tiny, but I did also put a garland over the fireplace and a wreath on the door outside.  image hosting |
|
|
|
Post by nancyb on Dec 11, 2016 23:59:14 GMT -5
Looks great smartkat. I put a tree up for the last time at this house. I was tempted to pass this year with the separation/divorce pending.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Dec 12, 2016 1:30:56 GMT -5
I used to loathe Xmas back in days of my ILIASM deal.
A time of forced bonhomie, and an escalation of the "everythings great" act.
Luckily, my missus could usually find a get out clause so that she / we didn't have to host it, so I could concentrate on getting hammered and keeping out of the firing line.
This year will be my 8th Xmas post ILIASM deal.
As you'd figure, my attitude to Xmas has mellowed a bit from my days of loathing it.
These days, I just hate it, and greatly look forward to it being over and done with.
|
|
|
|
Post by GeekGoddess on Dec 26, 2016 9:48:20 GMT -5
 My little tree. Less than 12" tall. It was a place setting decoration from a Christmas party (work dinner) over 20 yrs ago. Some ornaments are half as big as the actual tree. I always get it out for display for myself. No one in my Ex family understands why I love it. It's from a time I was dating my ex, my brother was still alive, the future was still a chance for happy-life. I like it. My future is again a chance for happiness, but not with that particular man. I'm getting more & more okay with that. This is the second Christmas w/o him. Each one in the future will likely be better than this first one "officially divorced" was. Glad that it's over now, though. One of the beautiful things about my tiny tree is that I just put it into its box decorated. Clean up is a breeze! |
|
|
|
Post by greatcoastal on Dec 26, 2016 10:22:55 GMT -5
I did partially decorate this year. Our last year of being married to each other. My STBX moved money, again, spending tripple what we normally spend, giving the kids , bank card gifts from her only, from what is supposed to be our money. I will be at the bank, tracing the trail, and handing them to my attorney. I think what made it worse was asking my oldest son, sitting next to me, "what is that, how much is it?" Pretty straight forward easy questions, right? I received quiet, slow, sheepish, manipulative, cowardly ,deceptive, answers from him. " It's a card,hugh? it's a bank card. Hugh? How much? It's a gift. Later my daughter answers me honestly, tells me the amount. That's who she is. You could hear in her voice she knew the trouble, the manipulation behind it. Now there's whispering going on in the house, as my STBX is making plans to take the kids to a movie. I'll bet you a candy cane she will speak to me as she is out the door facing the car, telling me, "we are going to see a movie, bye!" Don't stay married to a controller.    |
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Dec 26, 2016 14:22:57 GMT -5
petrushka: I has my eyes opened to the realities of the 'festive season' when I worked in the ER. Lots of victims of domestic violence over the holidays. Even in happy homes it is not all candy canes and eggnog. The expectations are just too high sometimes. Like me waiting in vain for my christmas sex to materialize. Still waiting... I'm waiting too Nancy B. It has never happened in 2 marriages or in between them. I'm running out of time and hope. Another 364 days to go..... |
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Dec 26, 2016 14:26:23 GMT -5
To me Christmas does not have many good memories too. My father was often agressive, At home he lived out his work frustrations. And at Christmas he couldn't handle the stress of things needing to be festive. Most of the times my mother put a lot of effort in making it nice an my father got angry at something. Smashing things. Christmas decorations for example, once he knocked down the christmas tree. That was the last time we had one in my parental home. My parents in law were also very uptight at christmas. fake joy and obligated to be happy or else.... In the early days of living with my stbx Christmas has been okay a couple of times, but always problems with our parents. Later we had many of those horrible christmases too. When my daughter was nearly 3 years old, my dad and my stbx had a fight shortly after Christmas. That was the last time my daughter saw my parents because my horrible husband made it impossible and I was stuck in between and didn't feel able to do anything sensible. The grieve that caused for me and my mother was immense. It also made me feel detached from my husband. Looking back, that was when I started to give up on him. I wish I had done that a lot faster. And now I am alone at Christmas. Today I have decorated a christmas tree. first time since years. ![]() Tamara, I'm a little late to this but that is a very beautiful tree. I have no tree (for many reasons) so I shared yours this year. Thank you. |
|
|
|
Post by solodriver on Dec 26, 2016 14:29:05 GMT -5
My little tree. Less than 12" tall. It was a place setting decoration from a Christmas party (work dinner) over 20 yrs ago. Some ornaments are half as big as the actual tree. I always get it out for display for myself. No one in my Ex family understands why I love it. It's from a time I was dating my ex, my brother was still alive, the future was still a chance for happy-life. I like it. My future is again a chance for happiness, but not with that particular man. I'm getting more & more okay with that. This is the second Christmas w/o him. Each one in the future will likely be better than this first one "officially divorced" was. Glad that it's over now, though. One of the beautiful things about my tiny tree is that I just put it into its box decorated. Clean up is a breeze! Geek, Very beautiful, I had a little tree like that for a few years, and then it was destroyed by a cat one night.
Oh well!
|
|
