|
|
Post by wewbwb on Dec 29, 2016 12:06:50 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by DryCreek on Dec 29, 2016 13:08:54 GMT -5
*Really* good piece of work. Lengthy, but quality.
In a nutshell, the author used his column to crowdsourcing relationship advice from long-lived, happy marriages.
A couple gems:
Healthy fighting:
Stonewalling... I know that one well.
Yup. We all know this one.
|
|
|
|
Post by JonDoe on Dec 29, 2016 14:33:40 GMT -5
*Really* good piece of work. Lengthy, but quality. In a nutshell, the author used his column to crowdsourcing relationship advice from long-lived, happy marriages. A couple gems: Healthy fighting: Defensiveness & Stonewalling are my STBX's signature moves! |
|
|
|
Post by nancyb on Dec 29, 2016 18:12:07 GMT -5
"No secrets. If you're really in this together and you respect one another, everything should be fair game. Have a crush on someone else? Discuss it. Laugh about it. Had a weird sexual fantasy that sounds ridiculous? Be open about it. Nothing should be off-limits"
That was something that really stood out for me in the article.
|
|
|
|
Post by baza on Dec 29, 2016 23:07:55 GMT -5
Geez, that's one of the better things I've read in the past year Brother wewbwb.
Great find, and thanks for sourcing and posting the link.
|
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on Dec 30, 2016 6:07:48 GMT -5
Thank you baza I was very impressed by it as well. To me, the lack of "bells and whistles" is what impressed me. Straight forward information. He's not trying to convince you or sell you the related book for 49.95 (Odd because it's business insider) It's interesting for me to read it and say "Did that wrong, that also, yup that too, jeez I'm doomed..." |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2016 8:56:11 GMT -5
It is a great article. I bookmarked it, in case there's ever a next time for me.
What struck me is the idea that it's normal for people to change and grow as individuals over the course of a marriage. I know life has changed me a lot over the years (hopefully some of it for the better), while my H is still the same exact person. And he brags about that while shaming and blaming me for changing. It's all my fault that our marriage is a failure.
And the four horsemen of divorce? H does all four when we fight. I'd read about those years ago. Our marriage has been doomed for a long time.
This article does imply a willingness to work at the relationship and to talk about everything. If those 2 things are missing and you are married to someone who can't or won't communicate and who doesn't actually give a f--- about your needs being met in the relationship, I guess you're totally screwed.
It's ok. At least I see my marriage for what it is now. From that position of clear thinking, I can now act on it.
|
|
|
|
Post by becca on Dec 30, 2016 9:23:10 GMT -5
This was a long article but a great one. I want to print it out so I can underline and highlight a few things. If nothing else, I can have it for the next time.
Cue the Marvin Gaye music.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2016 9:36:10 GMT -5
Cue the Marvin Gaye music. LOL and amen! Who are these people who commit to having sex every day for a week to fix things up when the marriage gets stale? Sign me up for one of those marriages! I'm jealous. |
|
|
|
Post by thebaffledking on Dec 30, 2016 9:43:41 GMT -5
I remember an interview I once read (some years ago) with Trudi Styler (Sting's wife). She said that sometimes she and Sting would basically spend entire weekends in bed together......my wife read it, too, and her reaction was, "That's so gross.....who does that?"
I wanted that!!! And soon I was watching my own marriage fall apart due to her asexuality......... hindsight and all..........well, TIME TO MOVE ON!!
|
|
|
|
Post by becca on Dec 30, 2016 9:50:03 GMT -5
Cue the Marvin Gaye music. LOL and amen! Who are these people who commit to having sex every day for a week to fix things up when the marriage gets stale? Sign me up for one of those marriages! I'm jealous. I know, right?! I thought the same thing! And girl, forget this "in case there is a next time" business. We deserve a next time with someone who ranks intimacy and sex as high as we do. |
|
|
|
Post by jim44444 on Dec 30, 2016 10:37:02 GMT -5
Interesting article. Some of it was blah, blah, blah but the majority was good. I sent the link to my wife so if the weekend turns to shit I am blaming wewbwb. |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Dec 30, 2016 10:46:13 GMT -5
What a great article. I bookmarked it in my phone. If I'm ever in a relationship again I will definitely share it with my partner. I think it's something every married couple should reread every year maybe in January like the State of the Union. I noticed the author was Mark Manson and I've been following him for years. He's a great writer with very thought provoking articles.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2016 10:47:57 GMT -5
Interesting article. Some of it was blah, blah, blah but the majority was good. I sent the link to my wife so if the weekend turns to shit I am blaming wewbwb. LOL! Good luck with that Jim44444! Let us know how that works out for you. If you don't wind up in bed all weekend that is. |
|
|
|
Post by wewbwb on Dec 30, 2016 11:13:12 GMT -5
Interesting article. Some of it was blah, blah, blah but the majority was good. I sent the link to my wife so if the weekend turns to shit I am blaming wewbwb . I'm married. You can't really scare me. What are going to do? Make the Frigidaire fuck me? Actually just the thought of that is pretty frightening. I'm sorry. |
|
