|
|
Post by oside77 on Feb 26, 2017 19:25:31 GMT -5
Hello! I am new to this site, but recently found "similar worlds" where someone posted about iliasm so here I am. I was a user on EP as well for a couple years before it went away. Still learning to navigate this site, it's certainly different. I have been married 17 years now and have three kids. About five years ago my wife and I went sexless for a year. It was a time we were close to divorce and I sought counciling for us. We both laid it all out and some hurtful things were said. Basically, she has little libido and my advances over the years caused anxiety for her because of the abuse she suffered as an early teen. This caused her to resent me because her sub-conscious compared me to her abuser. During the time of our counseling, she said some things insulting my love making skills in order to keep me from making advances. All those things are still in the back of my mind though we eventually went from a year, to six months, to the last couple years it's every 2-3 months. I believe it's "pity sex" or maybe she just actually needs it once in a while now. Sorry for the novel of an intro. Welcome, but I am sorry you are here. I have to say, your wife's excuses are bullshit. You are NOT her abuser, and if she is still saying her self-conscious says you are, she needs to get therapy to resolve this. Thanks Flash. But therapy is what brought out what her subconscious was doing. She's been to a few therapists over the years, and each time she ends up ending it because she doesn't want to look within. Everything else is hunky-dory besides the intimacy... ok, not perfect, but good. |
|
|
|
Post by bballgirl on Feb 26, 2017 22:53:00 GMT -5
Happy Saturday! I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway.... I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together. *Ann So glad you found us Ann, and that you found your happiness! |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2017 13:40:14 GMT -5
, and each time she ends up ending it because she doesn't want to look within. Then she is making a conscious choice to remain in the same state. This is totally unacceptable. |
|
lostheart
Junior Member
Posts: 22 
Age Range: 41-45
|
Post by lostheart on Feb 28, 2017 8:50:38 GMT -5
Hello everyone, I've been "secretly" reading on this forum for a couple of months, registered today. I am a woman in her early 40's, 15 years in a partnership, almost all the time nearly sexless, completely sexless in my marriage for two years now (except for once.. haha). Almost finished a longer text about myself, but will first have a more thorough look in the welcome board.
Hope I am not going to bother you too much with mistakes, I am no native English speaker.
By the way, where do you get the nice pictures from and how can I add my age range here? (wouldn't like to give the full birthday to be seen, though)..
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2017 8:54:12 GMT -5
Hello everyone, I've been "secretly" reading on this forum for a couple of months, registered today. I am a woman in her early 40's, 15 years in a partnership, almost all the time nearly sexless, completely sexless in my marriage for two years now (except for once.. haha). Almost finished a longer text about myself, but will first have a more thorough look in the welcome board. Hope I am not going to bother you too much with mistakes, I am no native English speaker. By the way, where do you get the nice pictures from and how can I add my age range here? (wouldn't like to give the full birthday to be seen, though).. I plugged in my birthday and it displayed the age range. If you are worried about anonymity you could always pick up a date that is different from your birthday but from the same year so you land the same age range. I am no native English myself and new here myself but I have found this bunch to be wonderfully supportive. I don't think you will have any problems. |
|
|
|
Post by leifericson on Feb 28, 2017 8:54:53 GMT -5
Hello everyone, I've been "secretly" reading on this forum for a couple of months, registered today. I am a woman in her early 40's, 15 years in a partnership, almost all the time nearly sexless, completely sexless in my marriage for two years now (except for once.. haha). Almost finished a longer text about myself, but will first have a more thorough look in the welcome board. Hope I am not going to bother you too much with mistakes, I am no native English speaker. By the way, where do you get the nice pictures from and how can I add my age range here? (wouldn't like to give the full birthday to be seen, though).. Welcome to the forum. By all means post the longer post. You can add the picture and age range under your profile. |
|
lostheart
Junior Member
Posts: 22
Age Range: 41-45
|
Post by lostheart on Feb 28, 2017 9:05:41 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the quick answer and support, guys. Only here for barely an hour but for the moment I really feel happy to be able to share my fate and thoughts with you  Only spoke with one (1) "real life friend" about this problem so far |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2017 11:13:33 GMT -5
Thanks so much for the quick answer and support, guys. Only here for barely an hour but for the moment I really feel happy to be able to share my fate and thoughts with you Only spoke with one (1) "real life friend" about this problem so far It is a terrible place to be. I hope you find a lot of support here. |
|
|
|
Post by ModCasper on Feb 28, 2017 13:58:40 GMT -5
By the way, where do you get the nice pictures from and how can I add my age range here? (wouldn't like to give the full birthday to be seen, though).. Lostheart: welcome. Most of the settings are done this way: 1) click "Profile" at the top, then 2) click "Edit Profile" button. There you'll find many tabs: "Avatar" to set up your picture. "Personal" to enter/edit your information. "Settings" and "Privacy" to select WHICH of this information is shown/shared. |
|
lostheart
Junior Member
Posts: 22
Age Range: 41-45
|
Post by lostheart on Mar 3, 2017 2:57:38 GMT -5
By the way, where do you get the nice pictures from and how can I add my age range here? (wouldn't like to give the full birthday to be seen, though).. Lostheart: welcome. Most of the settings are done this way: 1) click "Profile" at the top, then 2) click "Edit Profile" button. There you'll find many tabs: "Avatar" to set up your picture. "Personal" to enter/edit your information. "Settings" and "Privacy" to select WHICH of this information is shown/shared. Hi ModCasper, thanks a lot for the reply  Tried the avatar though and it doesn't work, says I need a plugin or so? How do I get the plugin? |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2017 10:07:47 GMT -5
Happy Saturday! I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway.... I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together. *Ann Welcome Ann. I am sorry for your situation, but glad you found someone to help with the void. I hope you can eventually find a long term solution. |
|
|
|
Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 3, 2017 18:35:49 GMT -5
Welcome, but I am sorry you are here. I have to say, your wife's excuses are bullshit. You are NOT her abuser, and if she is still saying her self-conscious says you are, she needs to get therapy to resolve this. Thanks Flash. But therapy is what brought out what her subconscious was doing. She's been to a few therapists over the years, and each time she ends up ending it because she doesn't want to look within. Everything else is hunky-dory besides the intimacy... ok, not perfect, but good. She's not healthy and until she is willing to address her issues she won't change. You have to do what is best for you. You can still love and support if you want to, but you need to live your life and not let anyone hold you back. You deserve the love you are looking for. We all do! WOW I miss EP. So glad I came across this! |
|
|
|
Post by Venus Erotes on Mar 3, 2017 18:39:23 GMT -5
Happy Saturday! I was part of the EP group. Wish I could get back there and retrieve my posts. So much there I want to use to create my own site based on my history. At least it's all in my head, or most of it is anyway.... I hope all of you are well and have figured out how to fill the sexual void in your lives. Hubs and I have an open marriage - we are together for the kids. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I know now I married him for all the wrong reasons. He was sexually abused by a camp counselor, and I am a second hand survivor of that abuse. 20 years together and a major lack of intimacy that crushed me. I have a boyfriend who is amazing and fills the voids in my life, and I hope he and I have a fruitful future together. *Ann Welcome Ann. I am sorry for your situation, but glad you found someone to help with the void. I hope you can eventually find a long term solution. Thank you Flash! So are you speedy? Or do you like to flash people? I know there are sites for that too  HA! I'll dig in soon to read up on everyone soon! |
|
|
|
Post by oside77 on Mar 3, 2017 19:50:43 GMT -5
Thanks Flash. But therapy is what brought out what her subconscious was doing. She's been to a few therapists over the years, and each time she ends up ending it because she doesn't want to look within. Everything else is hunky-dory besides the intimacy... ok, not perfect, but good. She's not healthy and until she is willing to address her issues she won't change. You have to do what is best for you. You can still love and support if you want to, but you need to live your life and not let anyone hold you back. You deserve the love you are looking for. We all do! WOW I miss EP. So glad I came across this! Thank you for the support. I miss EP too, but find SW to be pretty good. A lot of youngin's on there so you have to get past all the random sh*t. I find this site and SW to be helpful for talking with people in similar situations and it helps keep me sane. |
|
|
|
Post by Dan on Mar 3, 2017 22:30:42 GMT -5
Tried the avatar though and it doesn't work, says I need a plugin or so? How do I get the plugin? Aren't we ALL asking that question on ILIASM... "How do I get more plugin'?" OK, well, for editing your avatar it looks like you need Adobe Flash: get.adobe.com/flashplayer/Cheers! |
|
Only spoke with one (1) "real life friend" about this problem so far 
HA! I'll dig in soon to read up on everyone soon!
