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Post by Admin on Jun 7, 2017 9:22:43 GMT -5
The topic often comes up on this forum: once you've decided to consider divorce and see a lawyer for an initial consultation.... how do you seek out a lawyer?
I'm starting this thread for the purposes of folks who would like to explain their experience/advice on that, and/or post links to external websites which give advice on the same.
Note: try to avoid posting long, sordid tales of your personal experiences in this thread; if you'd like to share that, use the "SM Issues" board with your own thread on your case's particulars. I'd like this thread to be more of a "How To".
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Post by shamwow on Jun 7, 2017 14:09:37 GMT -5
I think that the choice in lawyers completely depends upon the "tone" of your divorce. For example, I went to see two. One of them was a total shark. If things get nasty, he is the guy I wanted in my corner. He was also expensive as hell. I was fortunate that my divorce turned out to be amicable. So my second lawyer (the one I'm using) is a junior attorney at a firm (for almost half the money) and is primarily doing filings and paperwork.
If you don't know how your spouse is going to react? I'd consult with a couple different lawyers and find the right "tool" for the job.
When contacting attorneys, pay attention to how long it takes them to get back to you. If it takes them a long time to get back to you when they are trying to "get your business" then they will take forever once they have your retainer.
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Post by TMD on Jun 7, 2017 22:59:24 GMT -5
We started the process using a therapist who specializes in mediation (certified as per the legal bodies in the Province I live). She explained the manners to go about getting the divorce:
1. Mediated
2. Collaborative
3. Arbitration
4. Contested
Regardless which route one goes, you would need a lawyer to verify all is copacetic in divorce docs. I am certain that if we need to continue to see the therapist, she would have some lawyers to recommend.
I don't expect we will need a lawyer to help us negotiate all the details of the divorce. I am hoping we will go the mediated route.
I have talked to friends and have a list of who they used, and why they liked them. But I am researching one that I saw in a local ad. I liked the statement he made on his website (having been through divorce himself) and specializes in collaborative, if we need to take that route.
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Post by baza on Jun 7, 2017 23:41:34 GMT -5
In my jurisdiction, divorce is "no fault" and has been since 1975.
Basically, whether your divorce is conducted aggressively, or mutually, or you have a shark lawyer or a quiet methodical lawyer doesn't matter a rats arse.
The sums still work out the same.
The over-riding principle is a 50/50 split (if it gets down to a Judge having to mandate a solution) with adjustments for things like earning capacity after divorce, child support, and suchlike matters.
In my case my lawyer suggested that I try and persuade my missus to mutually workout an equitable split, which we did eventually, it was all notarised in an instrument called a "Binding Financial Agreement" which we signed off on, and it was duly notarised.
We never got even close to having to appear before a judge (and as I understand it, in my jurisdiction, VERY FEW ever do. Most people can negotiate a fair split without having to duke it out in court)
My lawyer was the same one who attended to the legalities of us buying a house way back when, and the one who helped us do our wills. She was not even a divorce specialist, just the average Joette suburban law practitioner.
My missus' lawyer was just an average Joe suburban solicitor too.
The rules in my jurisdiction are known to all, and the only reason you'd have to engage an *attack dog* lawyer, is if you wanted to see some lost tempers in action in the courtroom by your lawyer putting on an act, that he will charge you for with great enthusiasm. The *attack dog* approach will not - in a no fault jurisdiction - cut any ice at all.
The rules are the rules*.
*And, like everywhere else, everyone reckons the rules are ratshit and that they got hosed in the divorce.
I think some people reckon that a divorce carries (or *should* carry) some punitive aspect for the spouse who has been a prick / bitch.
In a no fault jurisdiction, it carries no such thing.
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