Bad news

So sorry Kat. Sending prayers and strength to you and your family.

I'm so sorry Kat. Sending you strength and comfort in being with your family.

I'm so very sorry, Kat. It's a terrible shock to hear this kind of news. Sending you love and supportive hugs, my dear.

@smartkat, there is really no advice or little advice I can give you, but I can definitely relate. Fortunately, my experience is drawing to a happier ending. The biopsies on my wife came back negative. She doesn't have any cancer left, so all she has to do is finish her recovery.

I did lose both my parents five years ago, both passing within three months of each other. Since my sister worked for a hospice, they both took advantage of hospice services to have as much care as possible at home. Both died peacefully at home with most of their children around. I miss them, but I was grateful for how they died.

During both my parents' deaths and my wife's illness, I have been impressed with the caregivers they had. One hospice nurse came when my dad died at 2 am, talking to us and helping get rid of the painkilling medicines. I wish I got her number, but considering the circumstances (my dad just died, I'm married, and early morning hours), it was definitely not the time. I have also fallen in lust with several of my wife's nurses.

The one thing that really bothers me is the lack of control. It's not just that someone I care for is hurting and I can't do anything about it. But my entire life has been on hold during this illness. I cannot make any long term plans. There is also dealing with the empty space my parents left behind and the space left temporarily by my wife.

Both experiences have changed me. I've accepted death is inevitable. There is nothing sad about someone leaving this world peacefully with no regrets, except we won't see that person again. Such a life should be celebrated. My wife's illness has forced me to refocus my priorities, especially when it comes to my son. I try to enjoy any time I have with him.

It has not been easy. I am stressed out and easily angered. Thankfully, I don't have any heavy weaponry, for the cars who cut me off on the Interstate would have been blown to bits. But in these past few months I have handled more than I thought I ever could. I am a stronger and better person because of these experiences.

Family and friends have helped a lot. Both my wife's family and mine have helped me and each other. My sister and brother have given rides to my mother-in-law. My pets have also comforted my son and me. Our calico Gwen has been missing my wife. While Gwen is a family pet, my wife is her human. My son and I have been consoling her.

Hopefully, you have an animal that can help you through this like Gwen here.




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F*ck Cancer. So sad to read this news. Warm thoughts and wishes to you and your family.