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Post by wewbwb on Jun 25, 2017 10:02:03 GMT -5
Yesterday I had to work on my car. A job that should have taken about 2 or 3 hours turned into a 5 hour job. After driving to the parts store to get the parts , going back to the shop and taking the car apart, I found out that they gave me the wrong parts. So the car gets put back together enough to go back to the store and get the right ones. Back again to finish the job . Here is the observation : At a certain point I was thinking " Eh, this is good enough . " Something I would never do on a customer s car. I know that I am not the only person who does this. If it for someone else I will make sure it is as good as I can possibly make it . But I'm willing to "cut the corners" for myself. I find this strange . Even as I know I'm doing it. If there is anyone in my life who deserves my best its me. I'm awesome.  But I also know (from research ) that many athletes struggle with this (it's why many speak of themselves in the third person ) If they are able to "trick" their mind into thinking of themselves as someone else , they can actually perform better. It goes back to a tool therapist #3 gave to me. "If your younger brother or sister was in the same situation , what would you tell them ? " "Now take that advice, and follow it." I'm still working on that. |
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Post by eternaloptimism on Jun 25, 2017 10:54:09 GMT -5
Yeah wewbwb. I too have been guilty of this syndrome for my whole life. BUT... I'm working on that. We must remember we ARE worthy Xxx |
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Post by becca on Jun 25, 2017 17:00:09 GMT -5
And the cobbler's children have no shoes.
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Post by hopingforachange on Jun 25, 2017 18:06:29 GMT -5
As my marriage is turning around, I know I have thought, maybe I don't need everything that I said was needed, " Eh, this is good enough . "
Then I came to my senses and reaffirmed what I need in the bedroom. It is what I need, not what I want. If she only wanted to meet me 1/2 way, then I should have included my wants.
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Post by baza on Jun 25, 2017 19:16:55 GMT -5
Interesting observation you make Brother wewbwb The auto shop person might be seen here to have exhibited a "that's good enough" attitude when they located the parts for you. You then considered whether to adopt the same attitude and see if you could effect the repairs in a "good enough" manner. After due consideration you chose to revisit the auto shop and presumably had a very civilised discussion with them possibly along the lines - "My dear fellow, it would appear that you somehow managed to supply me earlier today with unsuitable materials for me to effect professional rectifications on my motor vehicle, which has cost me several hours, about which I am highly unimpressed. Perhaps you might care to forthwith supply me with the correct materials at a heavily discounted price as a form of compensation for my aggravation" - or maybe - "You stupid cunt. That fucken head gasket you gave me was for a BA Ford, not a BF. What sort of imbecile are you ?"Either way, you didn't settle for "good enough". I reckon this not settling for "good enough" is a life skill to be practised in all facets. And I really ought to add that it is a skill that I am still pretty rotten at. But I am "better" at it now than I once was. Addendum. I just proof read what I wrote above for typo's etc. Quite revealing on the re-read. It suggests that I regard my present attitude about "good enough" to still be well present, and "good enough". Thanks Brother wewbwb.This was actually very enlightening for me. I need to think on this. |
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Post by greatcoastal on Jun 25, 2017 19:24:22 GMT -5
And the cobbler's children have no shoes. And the landscapers yard has no plants in it. Easier to maintain, and the last thing they want to do when they are home. The yard maintenance guys grass stays overgrown. |
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 25, 2017 20:53:49 GMT -5
Interesting observation you make Brother wewbwb The auto shop person might be seen here to have exhibited a "that's good enough" attitude when they located the parts for you. You then considered whether to adopt the same attitude and see if you could effect the repairs in a "good enough" manner. After due consideration you chose to revisit the auto shop and presumably had a very civilised discussion with them possibly along the lines - "My dear fellow, it would appear that you somehow managed to supply me earlier today with unsuitable materials for me to effect professional rectifications on my motor vehicle, which has cost me several hours, about which I am highly unimpressed. Perhaps you might care to forthwith supply me with the correct materials at a heavily discounted price as a form of compensation for my aggravation" - or maybe - "You stupid cunt. That fucken head gasket you gave me was for a BA Ford, not a BF. What sort of imbecile are you ?"Either way, you didn't settle for "good enough". I reckon this not settling for "good enough" is a life skill to be practised in all facets. And I really ought to add that it is a skill that I am still pretty rotten at. But I am "better" at it now than I once was. Addendum. I just proof read what I wrote above for typo's etc. Quite revealing on the re-read. It suggests that I regard my present attitude about "good enough" to still be well present, and "good enough". Thanks Brother wewbwb.This was actually very enlightening for me. I need to think on this. I'm wondering if I am simply looking at as " I can always fix it later if I need to" You know like my attitude towards my marriage and my life. "Eh , its good enough . I'll fix it later..." |
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Post by baza on Jun 25, 2017 21:50:23 GMT -5
Sorry about double dipping on your post Brother wewbwb but I am presently looking out the window at the man cave where we have been doing some renovations, now completed. About 3 weeks ago, I observed that the gap between the colourbond outside wall had a pretty shitty silicon seal between the bottom of the metal and the concrete base. I remember thinking at the time, "that's probably going to leak, but I haven't got another tube of silicone, and there's only a couple of feet that is involved anyway. Ah fuck it, that's *good enough*, I'll re-do it later if it leaks" Suffice to say, as I look out the window through the rain today, and then have a look in the man cave, there is a reasonable level of water running through there !! Fuck it. I have managed to shoot myself in the foot again. |
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 26, 2017 3:59:51 GMT -5
That reminds me . I have to clean my pistols. If your feet are anything like mine, you get ten toes to shoot at. So you can always get around to shooting the rest later. |
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Post by petrushka on Jun 26, 2017 10:06:14 GMT -5
There's this scene in a fantasy novel "The Magic of Recluse". Young [whateverhisnamewas] gets apprenticed to his uncle, the cabinet maker.
Uncle is making a table, and there's a small blemish on the underside of the top when he goes to assemble it, so he turns around and
works it over again to remove the blemish.
The boy - young man, actually - goes "why bother, nobody will ever see it", and the old guy goes "but *I* will always know it is there".
Yupp, yupp, that's me ... I will always know it is there. And that's not good (enough). Gotta be done *right*. That little scene stuck
in my mind ever since I read it. I just never really thought about it before. I always found the "she'll be right" attitude here in NZ
endearing, but I just don't fit in in that regard.
I have seen much like it though: mechanic with a rattly, clapped out car, my brother-out-law the plumber whose en-suite has not been
finished in 20+ years, my builder friend who didn't have lined walls, my cabinetmaker friend who had no architraves around the doors
and windows for 30+ years until it came time to sell up ....
Heh.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 26, 2017 13:27:49 GMT -5
So very true, wewbwb. Corollary: If I am good at something, I assume that it must be really easy and anybody could do it. |
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Post by Caris on Jun 26, 2017 16:21:54 GMT -5
That's good advice about the sibling.
I was once in a relationship with a guy who I knew wasn't good for me, but I kept ignoring my own advice to get out. One day, we were visiting my sister's home, and I imagined that he was her boyfriend, not mine. Would I be happy for her? No, I'd be telling her to drop him like a ton of bricks because he was a loser. That really brought home to me how I was selling myself short by being with him. I think using the 3rd person technique is a great way to view reality from an outside perspective.
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 26, 2017 16:57:23 GMT -5
That's good advice about the sibling. I was once in a relationship with a guy who I knew wasn't good for me, but I kept ignoring my own advice to get out. One day, we were visiting my sister's home, and I imagined that he was her boyfriend, not mine. Would I be happy for her? No, I'd be telling her to drop him like a ton of bricks because he was a loser. That really brought home to me how I was selling myself short by being with him. I think using the 3rd person technique is a great way to view reality from an outside perspective. Yes 3rd person technique can be wonderful. As long as all three of you are on the same page..... (I'm really sorry. Even as I was typing it I knew it was wrong, I really can't help it.)  |
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Post by wewbwb on Jun 26, 2017 16:58:38 GMT -5
Caris Joking aside it is a wonderful helpful tool to gain "perspective" on ones issues and problems.
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