Forums for self help for mental health issues?

I relate to much of what you wrote. I have come across a few that had my back, but mainly anyone of significance in my life, parents, siblings, spouses, have not been supportive, and in fact have been toxic and willfully destructive. I sometimes wonder how my life would be if I'd had love and encouragement, rather than beatings and verbal and mental abuse.

Unfortunately, I don't know of any sites, but I'm sure there must be. Jordan Peterson videos has been a great help to me. He has made many on various topics, but I think his "personality" and "maps of meaning" videos may be useful to you. I pick up his brilliance and words of wisdom from watching short snippets over months.

Best of luck to you. It's very hard to combat years of abuse, and indifference and back stabbing is abuse too. It brings chaos to the heart of a person, and trust in people is eroded. I find Mindfulness helpful too, and Thich Nhat Hanh is an excellent simple teacher. He's on YouTube, and has some short, easy to read books on the subject.

I would suggest that you try to find a good counselor/therapist or someone who conducts group therapy sessions in your area. There simply is no replacement for face to face
when you are working on your emotions, your picture/perception of your own self, and on how others perceive you.

Everybody carries around a certain amount of self-deception, everybody to a lesser or bigger amount hones and polishes their narrative. Without body language, without eye contact, without intonation and all those other parts of communication - none of this is obvious, you could easily convince me that you're Mrs. Doubtfire if you're even half good.

Find some flesh and blood help, that's my advice. If you at first find someone who came bottom of the class, who thinks helping is some form of cheerleading exercise, go find someone else. A good therapist asks questions that are hard and painful to answer. ;-)