Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2018 17:04:42 GMT -5
Hey ILIASM friends. It's been a while, and I'm still alive, but it feels like barely sometimes.
Some of you are probably thinking, ‘yay, Andie’s here.’
Some of you are like, ‘WTF, I thought she left for good.’
Some newbs are asking, ‘who's Andie?’ I'm the snarky, half-smart, side-eye giving, sexless marriage spouse.
For the first time in months, I logged in to my forum account. I've been lurking for a couple days, wondering on what there is to get caught up. Thanks for the messages and tags.
About this time last year, I noticed pain when I exercised. To be clear, I've never been athletic or overly active. There were, however, things I enjoyed doing: playing tennis, swimming, taking walks with and without the dog. The pain I felt wasn't like the good post-exercise pain. I felt like my legs were going to pop out of my hips and run away from me. Burning, tingling, aching, stabbing pains. All-the-fuck-over
First stop, chiropractor. I've been seeing her for years, and she regularly adjusts my neck and upper back. She's also a massage therapist and acupuncturist. I got some physical therapy exercises to try before heading out for an evening walk. Unfortunately, they didn't do much good and after awhile, it hurt to do those too.
Second stop, primary care doctor. She examined me and took some blood and x-rays and MRIs of my hips, low back and knees. I have a family history of osteoarthritis going back three generations and that's what I thought the imaging would show. Nope. At this point, I was told I fit the profile of fibromyalgia, got prescriptions for cyclobenzaprine and gabepentin, and an appointment with a rheumatologist. Gabepentin made me so dizzy I needed help getting down my stairs, so she prescribed Cymbalta. That seemed to work, but briefly.
Third stop, rheumatologist. She was able to rule out other conditions that could also present as fibromyalgia, like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, MS, among other things. My official fibromyalgia diagnosis came in December. Ok great. That explains my pain, but how do we FIX it? I'm a problem solver by nature so that was my only question. My rheumatologist kept increasing my Cymbalta dosage, and by March, I was missing a lot of work, and spending my weekends in bed (not in the fun way either.)
Saint Patrick's Day was a Saturday, and after sleeping away the afternoon, I got out of bed, in tears, and wondered why anyone would want to live like this. WHOA. That scared the ever loving shit out of me. If you've seen commercials for drugs like this, they warns about side effects like thoughts of suicide. Except for a fleeting moment of teenage angst, I've never felt like I could take my own life. I called my rheumatologist who said this was normal. “The fuck it is,” was my reply. I said I'd be stopping the Cymbalta and going to my primary doctor to take another route.
Back at my primary doctor, we talked about a more natural approach but she wanted me to at least give Lyrica a try. I did. And it turned me into a crying zombie within ten days. I missed more work and it didn't even touch my pain. And I became more convinced big pharma is only in it for the money.
I'm beginning work with a nutritionist who specializes in minerals and how they can relieve pain when levels are in balance. I'm also waiting for the governor of Illinois to sign a bill the state legislature presented him to remove the fingerprinting and background checks for medical marijuana eligibility. I'll go through the background checks if the governor doesn't sign it, but I hate feeling like a criminal just for seeking pain relief.
During this time, the fact that my marriage is sexless has not mattered. What HAS mattered, is how supportive my husband has been, and how understanding. He has picked up slack around the house, since it could quite literally take me all day to clean the master bathroom. He's done all of this without me asking him. He has also suggested we sell our house and look for a condo (minimal or no stairs, no exterior maintenance). I'm cool with this.
I've had to give up some things I enjoy: walks through the neighborhood, local activism and volunteering, time out with friends, traveling, etc.
Thank you for reading, my friends. I know this was long. It feels good to be back.
Some of you are probably thinking, ‘yay, Andie’s here.’
Some of you are like, ‘WTF, I thought she left for good.’
Some newbs are asking, ‘who's Andie?’ I'm the snarky, half-smart, side-eye giving, sexless marriage spouse.
For the first time in months, I logged in to my forum account. I've been lurking for a couple days, wondering on what there is to get caught up. Thanks for the messages and tags.
About this time last year, I noticed pain when I exercised. To be clear, I've never been athletic or overly active. There were, however, things I enjoyed doing: playing tennis, swimming, taking walks with and without the dog. The pain I felt wasn't like the good post-exercise pain. I felt like my legs were going to pop out of my hips and run away from me. Burning, tingling, aching, stabbing pains. All-the-fuck-over
First stop, chiropractor. I've been seeing her for years, and she regularly adjusts my neck and upper back. She's also a massage therapist and acupuncturist. I got some physical therapy exercises to try before heading out for an evening walk. Unfortunately, they didn't do much good and after awhile, it hurt to do those too.
Second stop, primary care doctor. She examined me and took some blood and x-rays and MRIs of my hips, low back and knees. I have a family history of osteoarthritis going back three generations and that's what I thought the imaging would show. Nope. At this point, I was told I fit the profile of fibromyalgia, got prescriptions for cyclobenzaprine and gabepentin, and an appointment with a rheumatologist. Gabepentin made me so dizzy I needed help getting down my stairs, so she prescribed Cymbalta. That seemed to work, but briefly.
Third stop, rheumatologist. She was able to rule out other conditions that could also present as fibromyalgia, like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, MS, among other things. My official fibromyalgia diagnosis came in December. Ok great. That explains my pain, but how do we FIX it? I'm a problem solver by nature so that was my only question. My rheumatologist kept increasing my Cymbalta dosage, and by March, I was missing a lot of work, and spending my weekends in bed (not in the fun way either.)
Saint Patrick's Day was a Saturday, and after sleeping away the afternoon, I got out of bed, in tears, and wondered why anyone would want to live like this. WHOA. That scared the ever loving shit out of me. If you've seen commercials for drugs like this, they warns about side effects like thoughts of suicide. Except for a fleeting moment of teenage angst, I've never felt like I could take my own life. I called my rheumatologist who said this was normal. “The fuck it is,” was my reply. I said I'd be stopping the Cymbalta and going to my primary doctor to take another route.
Back at my primary doctor, we talked about a more natural approach but she wanted me to at least give Lyrica a try. I did. And it turned me into a crying zombie within ten days. I missed more work and it didn't even touch my pain. And I became more convinced big pharma is only in it for the money.
I'm beginning work with a nutritionist who specializes in minerals and how they can relieve pain when levels are in balance. I'm also waiting for the governor of Illinois to sign a bill the state legislature presented him to remove the fingerprinting and background checks for medical marijuana eligibility. I'll go through the background checks if the governor doesn't sign it, but I hate feeling like a criminal just for seeking pain relief.
During this time, the fact that my marriage is sexless has not mattered. What HAS mattered, is how supportive my husband has been, and how understanding. He has picked up slack around the house, since it could quite literally take me all day to clean the master bathroom. He's done all of this without me asking him. He has also suggested we sell our house and look for a condo (minimal or no stairs, no exterior maintenance). I'm cool with this.
I've had to give up some things I enjoy: walks through the neighborhood, local activism and volunteering, time out with friends, traveling, etc.
Thank you for reading, my friends. I know this was long. It feels good to be back.
