This article may hit home for others in one, or many areas.
For me, it confirms my choice of divorcing . It was necessary to separate in order to have a voice. Had I remained, the only voice would have been my controlling, helicopter mom ex. Especially as we are entering the middle and peak of the teen years. I can imagine my teens thinking (well my parents this... and my parents that...) when in reality it was/is my controlling, ex spouce.
I did not want to wait until I was dead, or when they had their own children for them to learn, ("dad wasn't like that, that was all mom"- or the reversal as is true in many other couples)
Daily when my teens are with me, I find myself giving them a lot more freedom, and more distant guidance than what they receive/received when at their mother's house.
For now ,it is such an improvement to be able to offer an alternative, and it helps me to find and be my true self again.
Here's to years ahead, and an alternative lifestyle for everyone!
This is so true. My oldest is starting college this year and I am at constant odds with my W because she can't lay off and let him learn basic lessons for him self. Also my 14 year old is catching more and more anger as she looses control over the oldest.
Both of my kids have had conversations with me about her being overbearing and they appreciate me standing up for them or being an ear that doesn't judge. They will tell me anything and withhold as much as possible from her.
She is a great mom don't get me wrong but she can helicopter....
You are doing a great job and being consistent and loving will bring you a better relationship. Much of you kids following her is out of fear and co-dependency. You watch the future will tell.
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worksforme2: Happy Birthday baza......
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notdeadyet: (I'm never sure of posting protocols here. Forgive me if I don't do it right) This is vwell said. We finally found a therapist who wasn't anti-male biased from the outset. She concluded that my W was OCPD, NOT the same as OCD at all. But it took month
Dec 17, 2023 14:01:27 GMT -5
jim44444: @notdeadyet you might wNtbo.post your updates and story under the sexless marriage folder. The shout box only appears in desktop mode not the mobile version.
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jim44444: ,@notdeadyet *want to
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Dec 18, 2023 20:39:05 GMT -5