Post by mirrororchid on Mar 1, 2020 11:54:49 GMT -5
Hi ILIASM friends,
I'm making this post in an attempt to compress information about sexless marriages into a one-stop shoppe.
I invite everyone to reply to it with articles and a short summary of the most useful, surprising, or important findings.
I have a Biology degree, was pre-med for the first portion thereof, and have kept abreast of medical developments through medical news subscriptions. As laymen go, I'm not half bad.
I'll start out with a few and collect, as time allows, the articles already shared in previous posts.
As the replies roll in, I can edit this entry to add the input of those that wish to share.
Please don't shoot the messenger if the data seems wrong, or unwelcome.
Always happy to hear about more studies that contradict the ones here.
* The SmartMarriages.com article leads me to a darkly funny conclusion. Perhaps a way out of a sexless marriage is to go to a bad marriage counselor.
I'm making this post in an attempt to compress information about sexless marriages into a one-stop shoppe.
I invite everyone to reply to it with articles and a short summary of the most useful, surprising, or important findings.
I have a Biology degree, was pre-med for the first portion thereof, and have kept abreast of medical developments through medical news subscriptions. As laymen go, I'm not half bad.
I'll start out with a few and collect, as time allows, the articles already shared in previous posts.
As the replies roll in, I can edit this entry to add the input of those that wish to share.
| Topic | Findings (TL;DR) | URL |
| Pain During Sex | ...calcitriol has a beneficial effect on vaginal atrophy in postmenopausal women and it could be an alternative to estrogen therapy...vitamin D vaginal suppositories have protective effects that decrease the mean pain during intercourse, vaginal pH, dryness, and paleness ...compared to the placebo suppositories...dryness decreased by 26% in women with vitamin D vaginal suppositories...the decrease in vaginal pH which improves the microenvironment of the epithelial layers of the mucous membrane, and also hydration and elasticity of the vaginal mucosa. | www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4387645/ |
| Pain During Sex | women who applied lidocaine to the vulvar and vestibular tissues prior to insertion experienced improved comfort and less distress with intercourse [47]. However, in this sample, only 28% of the women had ever used a moisturizer to address these issues. Addressing pain during sexual activity is important, because if not addressed, female cancer survivors may begin to anticipate painful intercourse and thereby develop secondary vaginismus, an involuntary and habitual clenching of pelvic floor muscles. In this case, women need to become educated about their pelvic floor, including how to relax pelvic floor muscles that are chronically over-engaged. One of the benefits of dilator therapy is that women can also use this exercise to practice relaxing the pelvic floor during penetration and regain a sense of control with their body. | www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4984532/ |
| Libido | Randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled studies have established the efficacy of the transdermal testosterone patch for relieving symptoms of [low libido] in surgically and naturally menopausal women with and without concomitant estrogen or estrogen/progestin therapy. | www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22304681/ |
| Divorce | researchers found that two-thirds of unhappily married spouses who stayed married reported that their marriages were happy five years later. In addition, the most unhappy marriages reported the most dramatic turnarounds: among those who rated their marriages as very unhappy, almost eight out of 10 who avoided divorce were happily married five years later...study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married... Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery....Even unhappy spouses who had divorced and remarried were no happier on average than those who stayed married....Why doesn't divorce typically make adults happier? ...response of one's spouse to divorce; the reactions of children; potential disappointments and aggravation in custody, child support, and visitation orders; new financial or health stresses for one or both parents; and new relationships or marriages. How Do Unhappy Marriages Get Happier? ... many currently happily married spouses have had extended periods of marital unhappiness, often for quite serious reasons, including alcoholism, infidelity, verbal abuse, emotional neglect, depression, illness, and work reversals. Why did these marriages survive?...the marital endurance ethic, the marital work ethic, and the personal happiness ethic. In the marital endurance ethic,..., marriages got happier not because partners resolved problems, but because they stubbornly outlasted them. ... sources of conflict and distress eased: financial problems, job reversals, depression, child problems, even infidelity. In the marital work ethic, spouses told stories of actively working to solve problems, change behavior, or improve communication. When the problem was solved, the marriage got happier. Strategies... ranged from arranging dates ..., enlisting the help and advice of relatives or in-laws,... consulting clergy or secular counselors, ...threatening divorce and consulting divorce attorneys. Finally, in the personal happiness epic, marriage problems did not seem to change that much. Instead married people ... improve their own happiness and build a good and happy life despite a mediocre marriage. Spouses ...whose marriages had turned around generally had a low opinion of the benefits of divorce, ... friends and family members who supported the importance of staying married. ..., these couples invested great effort in enduring or overcoming problems ...minimized the importance of difficulties they couldn't resolve, and they actively worked to belittle the attractiveness of alternatives. ..A strong commitment to marriage as an institution, and a powerful reluctance to divorce, do not merely keep unhappily married people locked in misery together. They also help couples form happier bonds Would most unhappy spouses who divorced have ended up happily married?... spouses who divorced ...and unhappy spouses who stayed married looked more similar than different ..unhappy spouses who divorced were on average younger, had lower household incomes, were more likely to be employed or to have children..., these differences were typically not large. Were the marriages that ended in divorce much worse than those that did not? 21 percent of unhappy spouses who divorced reported husband-to-wife violence, compared to 9 percent...who stayed married. ... if only the worst marriages ended up in divorce, one would expect divorce to be associated with important psychological benefits. Instead, researchers found that unhappily married adults who divorced were no more likely to report emotional and psychological improvements than those who stayed married. Other Findings ...three out of four unhappily married adults are married to someone who is happy with the marriage. Endnotes ...three-fourths of today's divorces are initiated by women, ... [T]heir lives improved immeasurably, and their self-esteem soared." ... Spouses were asked to rate their overall marital happiness on a 7-point scale, with 1 being the least happy and 7 the most happy. Those who rated their marriage as a 1 or 2 were considered to be very unhappy in their marriages. Almost 8 out of 10 adults who rated their marriage as a 1 or 2 gave that same marriage a 5 or more when asked to rate their marriage five years later. | www.smartmarriages.com/does.divorce.html |
| Counseling / Divorce | A history of societal views of divorce, the effect of those views on therapists' approaches, and the profound difference between couples therapy and individual therapy. (one data nugget: "Australian and New Jersey studies ...found that over 40% of divorced people regretted their divorce and thought it was preventable.") | www.smartmarriages.com/hazardous.html * |
| Pain During Sex | Estrogen Vaginal Creams vs. MonaLisa Touch laser treatment (caveat: review sites for MonaLisa Touch report many unhappy women, but that's anecdotal vs. empirical evidence. I just want full disclosure.) | journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/Abstract/2020/01000/A_randomized_clinical_trial_comparing_vaginal.9.aspx |
| Erectile Dysfunction | improvement in orgasms with cabergoline pills (brand name Dostinex). | pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26944776/ |
| Libido | In both genders, cabergoline improved sexual desire. Moreover, in men, the drug improved erectile and orgasmic function, whereas in women, it improved sexual arousal. | pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29746287/ |
| Sexual Techniques | ? | Eros Erotica (book) w/ Thanks to worksforme2 |
| Sexual Techniques | Sexual Techniques for Women | How To Be A Great Lover (e-Book) w/ thanks to Jerri |
| Female Sexual Dysfunction | Female sexual dysfunction Articles on low libido, menopause, arousal and more. | www.mazewomenshealth.com w/ thanks to Tesseract |
Please don't shoot the messenger if the data seems wrong, or unwelcome.
Always happy to hear about more studies that contradict the ones here.
* The SmartMarriages.com article leads me to a darkly funny conclusion. Perhaps a way out of a sexless marriage is to go to a bad marriage counselor.
