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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 20, 2020 4:57:53 GMT -5
So what questions do I ask to find out how a divorce would shake out for me?
I dont know how to untangle 25 years, shared guardianship of an adult disabled child and who knows what else....
Experienced folks... where do I start? what do I look for? How do I know whats important?
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Post by jerri on Dec 20, 2020 12:16:29 GMT -5
All of our states are going to be so different.
I am in a legal battle against my baby brother's ex who left him six years before he passed away. Any question I have, I take it to a lawyer or Google plus my state name. I find older cases against cases like mine and I find the questions to mine. I can also ask my son who is a prosecutor, but can't really help, but I get to bounce different subjects off him.
The first step is getting in contact with counsel who specializes in family law. They won't give you enough information on the first visit, but direction is a great place to start. The best lawyer should be revealed through ratings and interviews.
Sending healing hugs your way 😚
You are in the resources section, people may not even see your post because it is in resources? IDK
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Post by saarinista on Dec 20, 2020 12:50:45 GMT -5
sweetplumeria you have good questions right there. I suggest not overthinking it to start. Do you have any friends who can recommend a divorce attorney to you? If not, I would suggest just Googling it and going to the first one you see who advertises a free, no-obligation consultation. It will be by Zoom these days, I guess. See how it goes with the first person you talk to and take it from there. I've not done any of this, mind you, but that's what I'd do if I got serious about ending my marriage legally.
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Post by baza on Dec 20, 2020 22:37:50 GMT -5
Get all the financial records you have (yours, his and joint) together is my suggestion.
As far as the questions go, your lawyer will be asking you for the most part.
She/he knows the law, you know (or ought know) the financials of your specific position.
From those two sets of facts, he/she will be able to come up with a pretty accurate appraisal of how it would all shake out for you in your jurisdiction.
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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 22, 2020 6:01:08 GMT -5
Get all the financial records you have (yours, his and joint) together is my suggestion. As far as the questions go, your lawyer will be asking you for the most part. She/he knows the law, you know (or ought know) the financials of your specific position. Baza hit the legal money part hard. That's huge and the bulk of what courts care about, it sounds like. I'll add personal issues. Some of these I may be adding for folks reading the thread and may clearly not apply to you. You say a disabled adult child...That makes me wonder what would happen if he drops out of your life entirely. Can you care for your child solo? Some ex's lose their minds and do things you didn't think they would. What are prospects for financial help with him/her/zer? What if they try to stiff you? What are shelter costs looking like? Where can you live with some budget wiggle room? (and with who, if sharing makes things possible/practical/comfortable)? Can you negotiate staying in the house if you divorce? (assuming that's eve a tenable situation). Can a minor remodel make it work? Transportation issues if you share vehicles or live near transit you depend on. Safety issues. Do you have a place ready if he/she gets really bad ideas (again, I don't recall you saying this was the case, but others might.) Are there domestic skills you'll need to practice before you find yourself alone (big one for some of the gents out there, but minor repair and maintenance may be an unhappy learning curve if those were considered the "manly" chores). Reverse it if you got the Mr. Mom thing going on. Are there errands or essential duties carried out you'll need to budget time for? Perhaps inconvenient time you'd need to alert your workplace for? Do you have a social circle/friends/hobbies/classes to fill time you might have left over that couple time used to take up? (big for co-dependents like me) Might you face addiction issues absent a partner in the house? Is therapy a good idea before you leave? Apologies if you wanted legal related advice only. |
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Post by saarinista on Dec 22, 2020 12:35:00 GMT -5
mirrororchid nice questions but no one can answer all of those questions. If they could they'd have left long ago.
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Post by sweetplumeria on Dec 23, 2020 5:44:50 GMT -5
[quote author=" mirrororchid" Apologies if you wanted legal related advice only. [/quote] All thoughts to ponder are good. I cant see my situation clearly as I am too close... So I appreciate the groups input. I have had plenty of years to think this through and as I remove ways myspouse had control over me a sense of relief has come over me. It's nice. |
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Post by jerri on Dec 26, 2020 1:50:03 GMT -5
Make sure you pull all of your money out way before you get on with it because they froze all of my brother's savings and checking.
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Post by jerri on Dec 28, 2020 3:33:17 GMT -5
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Post by sweetplumeria on Jan 3, 2021 22:53:35 GMT -5
This is practical and helpful. Thank you! |
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