Post by mirrororchid on Dec 6, 2021 7:38:21 GMT -5
...I look at the kids and our persona out in our Christian homeschool circles and I stutter
...I would be dividing his much loved fortune amassed over the 24 years of this contract if I leave. I feel absolutely stuck. No path out. I concede I was a financially “kept” woman.
Get alimony.
Take him to the $1.99 cleaners.
When you're feeling financially solid, call him and tell him to skip that month's payment. You're fine.
Just cuz you CAN take half, doesn't mean you must.
If feelings of guilt are an obstacle, once the dust settles, refuse some of the "booty."
Would that help ease the blow?
About the name calling. Do you feel like you can never win? Not much compromise? Maybe little concessions, sometimes?
It sounds a lot like the tales told by Renee Swanson in "The Covert Narcissist Podcast"
Is it possible this dynamic is going on?
You're concerned about preserving the appearance of this Christian marriage to your home school circle?
Aren't you also preserving that exact same appearance to your kids?
That this is what a normal Christian marriage is?
Are they clear that it isn't? Are you okay with them thinking they should do likewise?
Maybe it is normal, and being in a Christian marriage as portrayed is a lousy idea and something to be avoided.
Or do good Christian marriages find a fix? Be it divorce or a post-nup that involves negotiated infidelity?
Depending on the state you live in, affairs can wreck your prospects for support.
Maybe you don't feel like you want everything you can get, but you also don't want to get shorted.
It could be good to hammer out an agreement before a potential love interest tempts you to take chances? Currently, you work from high ground and some degree of balance. Waiting until at your wits' end can leave you making your exit witless.
Finally...you say you were on a strict allowance for groceries.
That's tight financial control there. Saving this money for something other than his sons' food. Like... what?
I'd be curious about his credit report and any credit cards you don't know about.
Men with "mid six-figure incomes" sometimes enjoy unconventional expenses.
Or he's a miser preparing to leave vast inheritances to those sons?
Nothing seems healthy about this money management system from the info provided. Maybe some childhood trauma from extreme poverty? There's therapy for that.
