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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 7, 2021 6:43:55 GMT -5
Comments about specifics welcome.
Did your spouse's sobriety or heavy drinking coincide with kids? Difficult job? Relatives adding stress? Looking for confounding variables.
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Post by Handy on Dec 7, 2021 21:05:31 GMT -5
No drinking for me so sobriety was always the norm.
Working too many hours and joining a church that needed workers did contribute to our beginning distancing.
I am disheartened when I read about praying about things. Some fundamental religious membership made my life worse. More rules. more trying to live the christian life and another expense and time sponge.
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Post by mirrororchid on Dec 8, 2021 5:20:50 GMT -5
No drinking for me so sobriety was always the norm. Working too many hours and joining a church that needed workers did contribute to our beginning distancing. I am disheartened when I read about praying about things. Some fundamental religious membership made my life worse. More rules. more trying to live the Christian life and another expense and time sponge. Whoops. I was referring to her drinking, not yours. I remade the poll, clarified the answers and retitled it. Doing so erased your answer. Apologies. I welcome restoration of your selection, if you don't mind. Though changes in alcohol consumption could produce a reaction... hm. Your elaboration makes me think the answer stays the same, though. I started this poll after thinking about how some people start having sex in the first place: and wondered whether the absence of "lubricant" was a marriage killer/roommate creator. I also have seen reports of liberal amounts of intoxication in refusers here at ILIASM, so I don't rule out that issue, especially for the ladies where spirits can make the flesh weak, even if the spirit is willing. |
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Post by Handy on Dec 8, 2021 12:10:22 GMT -5
I was referring to her drinking, not yours.
W doesn't drink alcohol, just water, plain orange juice and coffee. We did have a few "slow gins" one year but nothing changed.
The sex was good for several years. then finances got a bit more challenging, I worked more, some medical issues increased and that is when the sexual part declined.
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Post by heelots on Dec 8, 2021 23:44:59 GMT -5
I wish I could blame it on alcohol!
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Post by Apocrypha on Dec 21, 2021 11:23:23 GMT -5
My former spouse's increasingly chaotic drinking problem seemed to accelerate with stress. She uses alcohol in response to stress rather than as desire for a culinary or aesthetic experience. I've seen alcohol play a role in the sexless and dysfunctional relationships. It's hard to tell what's the cause or effect - my buddy refused to have sex with his wife for a long time because she'd be falling over drunk as part of it. But overall, my tummy says the booze is simply another way to deny truth for a time, and to defer one kind of trouble for another.
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